For the past several years I've had someone in my life who is a member. Somewhere along the line I've noticed how every exchange and get together we've had has been on this person's terms. Anytime, I reached out to connect I was met with the standoffish coldness that I could just feel in every cell of my body. It was hurtful.

I discussed I was leaving and this person told me they're still my friend regardless..but have they ever been? Not to my standards.

Maybe this sounds silly but I feel so deeply that at least part of our "friendship" was this person being driven by some obligation to keep an eye on me spiritually speaking. It was almost like they felt bad for me or believed themselves to be above me! Who knows why, maybe bc I was the only member in my family.

I feel so resentful and regretful that I once admired this person and adored them like a brother. I wish we'd never have met. I can't believe I allowed for this.

Anonymous because I'm feeling some shame. Even though I know everyone makes mistakes, I feel I betrayed myself. I allowed it to go on for so long because I spoke so highly of this person to everyone in my life, and I couldn't bear to be wrong.

The crazy thing is my first impression was that I didn't want to meet this person, yet clearly I met them anyway. I failed myself deeply by casting my own heart heart aside for the first of many times.

I made a similar mistake once, so I do understand. I think we want to believe the best of people, so we tend to overlook things that perhaps we shouldn't. Forgive yourself! You had an open heart with this person, and they didn't feel the same about you. That is in no way your fault.

My only regret is that I didn't figure it out sooner. If I was guilty of anything, it was in being naively loyal.

I have come to think of church and work relationships as "situational friendships," that can sometimes work outside of that context, and sometimes not. Mormonism especially tends to promote false and/or shallow friendships. Many have commented that when ward boundaries change, longtime friendships are often realigned as well.

At least you realize where you'd been being used.
Be new again! Cut them off, with or without discussion.

Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life
_unknown

It's a beautiful day, if not around Mormons, generally

Big UP to you today, and always!

I appreciate both of your responses. If I had it to do over I'd have removed my heart from the situation probably three years ago, and if friends and family asked I'd have said, "This person actually isn't treating me warmly, so I need to protect myself." I was ashamed. Now the shame has compounded.

Oh, and I actually made a few attempts to discuss the way I felt with the offending person. Omg, the response I received was two laughing emojis.

I wonder what happens in a person's heart when they find hurting someone who cared for them to be funny, especially when the person said to me how the two of us were connected. Yes,we're connected alright. I'm the one being dragged through the mud behind you. *cringe*

You can never really know how a person will act over time.