A man broke into an LDS church in Provo & heated up four chicken nuggets from the freezer to eat. He was arrested there by Provo police and taken to jail.

He's facing a felony charge.
.
At least he got the chance to scarf the chicken first.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2023 03:26AM by Nightingale.

Thanks for adding in the link. I meant to do that but forgot!

That's really rather sad and pathetic. IMO it would not be good publicity for a multi-billion dollar church to pursue charges on the theft of four chicken nuggets by a hungry person.

I don't think the church cares about that kind of PR anymore. I am sure there is enough market data to support that nobody is joining the church, and the target demographic they want would be the "law and order" type anyway.

There is no need to wear a mask and pretend anymore. Being cruel is a feature not a bug to the demographic the church has, and nobody else is going to sign up for a different flavor of Xian with sh*ttier music.

Northern_Lights Wrote:
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> ... and nobody else is
> going to sign up for a different flavor of Xian
> with sh*ttier music.

Which "flavor of Xian" has "sh*ttier" music than the Mormon Church?

The Mormons are the flavor that have the shitty music.

Oh sorry. I misunderstood you. Yes. I agree that most of it is not great. There was one in the songbook I quite liked but I forget its title now.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2023 06:16PM by Nightingale.

The real question and church crime is
Who left food overnight at the church
against official church policy & directives?

Shoplifting less than $3,000 in merchandise and/or stealing a car will get you booked and immediately released in some cities in California.  Then if you don't show up for your hearing, that's fine because they don't have the necessary time to deal with all the people scheduled for court that day anyway.

I can easily imagine this guy being immediately released at the scene had this happened in CA, with laughter being the police response, had a bishop shown up to demand a felony arrest.

>> Shoplifting less than $3,000 in merchandise and/or stealing a car will get you booked and immediately released in some cities in California. Then if you don't show up for your hearing, that's fine because they don't have the necessary time to deal with all the people scheduled for court that day anyway.<<

You seem to know a lot about this. Why is that? Asking for a friend.

I'd fully report, except SOMEONE asked me not to mention posting bail for them, Rainbow Boy!

Ah yes, I forgot about that, but it doesn't mean you're getting paid back.

I was going to write "he'll learn," but the truth is he'll forget and you can "borrow" bail money from him again next month.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2023 03:19PM by Lot's Wife.

>> .....you can "borrow" bail money from him again next month. <<

Great, now I have to figure out something to do that will require bail money! As if I don't have enough to do already!

We have faith in you, Roy. You can do it!

At least he'll get fed in jail; I'm not certain about chicken nuggets however...

Wow. What a horrendous crime! The nuggets were probably stale, so he actually did them a favor by eating some of them.

Now... a loaf of bread would've deserved a felony rating,

Especially sacrament bread!

The sign that ran with the story when it ran locally showed the "Visitors Welcome" etched in stone. Of course, there is no other sign telling what days/times services or events are offered.

He found an open door, and he ate four chicken nuggets. Poor guy! He needed a food pantry.

If the charges are not dismissed, he ought to be sentenced to picking up litter on the church's grounds - then the Church ought to serve him a healthy meal once a week for a month or more.

Fascinated in the Midwest Wrote:
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> If the charges are not dismissed, he ought to be
> sentenced to picking up litter on the church's
> grounds - then the Church ought to serve him a
> healthy meal once a week for a month or more.


May I please seen your license for publishing IRONY?

I assume it's in your wallet or purse...

The combined facts of a "Visitors Welcome" sign and the open door perhaps give him a small defense...

The chapel of my youth had a defect with the doors. They could be popped open with a hard yank. We never bothered with finding a key, or even asking for permission whenever we wanted to use the basketball court.

No one was ever arrested.

brought your own nuggets & beer I guess..

I wonder if I'd get arrested for randomly leaving six packs of Bud Light in the local ward refrigerators.

(give me Time, I'll think up (invent, imagine) what crime / offense that you might be charged with, but: you must tell me what country & time zone this happened in...)

also, many LDS / Mormons are (claiming, anyway ) boycotting Bud Light bc of the gender ID dust-up

just in case you haven't heard



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2023 04:29PM by GNPE.

Even before I read the article, I assumed that a door to the church was probably open. LDS churches, at least in Utah County, are almost always open during the day. I could probably walk down the street right now and find an open door at the LDS church near me. Lots of ward members have keys. People are in and out during the day to practice the organ, play basketball and clean. Doors usually aren't locked till late in the evening. The "criminal" could have just said that he entered to clean bathrooms and needed a snack after the task was complete.

If a door was unlocked, I think the term 'burglary' is highly overstated along with charging as a felony!!!

but, of course, this is Provo, Ew-tah.

I volunteer three days a week my churches clothing bank.

They get donations and give things out to the needy, no questions, no charge.

Today a homeless guy came in and despite being closed the woman that runs the bank asked him what he needed.

He said he got robbed of all his stuff and was looking for a pair of jeans. He left there with a pair of jeans, a couple of shirts, a couple pairs of underwear and socks. No questions asked other than what do you need?

Guess that's real charity.

approximately 180 degrees away from ChurchCo, 'eh?

used to be (today?) the RS pres MUST visit the home of anyone asking church help, look into their cupboards & closets!!

what an INSULT!

yeah, sure, those people are 'in it to win it' via chruchco largess...

/S

The real sin was cooking in a church kitchen.

Eating chicken nuggets is a felony? I thought that was reserved for Tater Tots.

Mormonism should be a felony.

bradley Wrote:
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> Eating chicken nuggets is a felony? I thought that
> was reserved for Tater Tots.

Eating the chicken nuggets isn't the felony. It's Breaking and Entering (B&E) in the night-time. Even if he didn't break a window or lock, he "broke the plane" of the building's space. Certain crimes get enhanced under certain circumstances. Had he done this during the day, it might have been a simple trespass.

Since he was apparently canvasing the neighborhood in a suspicious manner, holding him in custody strikes me as prudent, while they ascertain if there are other victims with which to connect him.

This is an opportunity for tCoJCoLdS to show magnanimity and maybe garner some positive PR.

Finally, somebody stated what should be glaringly obvious. It was the breaking and entering that was the crime, not the chicken nuggets.

If there are any local 'church farms', give him employment there since no more paid janitors; just NOT FLORIDA, Please.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
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> Finally, somebody stated what should be glaringly
> obvious. It was the breaking and entering that was
> the crime, not the chicken nuggets.

Well, frozen nuggets in a church freezer maybe should be a crime.

What would the charge against the church be for keeping chicken nuggets? Keeping a house of ill repute? That would seem more appropriate for Spam, no?

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
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> Finally, somebody stated what should be glaringly
> obvious.

I get complimented so rarely--thanks!

It was the breaking and entering that was
> the crime, not the chicken nuggets.

Technically, that would be petty larceny, depending upon how it's phrased in Utah. Very petty, to be sure. I'd recommend he plead out to two misdemeanors and a diversion program.

Probably will. I'd recommend that the church drop the charges and invest in some locks.

But that would require either some common sense or some humanity, neither of which is evident.

If found guilty, require him to listen to a recent session of GC, then he’ll Never want to be near anything Mormonism again for the rest of his Life!!

I would think in Provo there would be a Mormon locksmith who would be invited to ‘share some blessings’ with ChurchCo.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2023 12:37PM by GNPE.

GNPE Wrote:
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> If found guilty, require him to listen to a recent
> session of GC, then he’ll Never want to be near
> anything Mormonism again for the rest of his
> Life!!
>

Maybe they should remove the "Visitors Welcome" sign and only haul it out during business hours.
A sign like that on a church might imply the poor would be fed and sheltered any time. ;-\

Elder Holland just wrote a letter to the court. He wants his chicken nuggets back.

fed the hungry. Mormons prosecute them.

sd Wrote:
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> fed the hungry. Mormons prosecute them.

I thought at first that said "persecute".

Fits too, in some ways, as many exmos definitely know.

Could you imagine what would have happened to him if instead of taking and eating chicken nuggets he instead took the funeral potatoes or that lime green thing dessert, he would never get out of jail, oh the horror, the horror...