Didn't know where else to put this. Your thread is as good a place as any. You're welcome!

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Commandment #11 -- Pay your tithing (and a generous fast offering, and money for the missionary fund, building fund, and whatever other fund church officials can dream up.) That $100 billion trust fund is not going to replenish itself!

#11- Bow your head and say yes.

The first and greatest commandment is "Thou shalt not make the organization look bad."

All else can be overlooked, but not making the organization look bad. Although, between Chad and Lori and Ammon, maybe Idaho has a special waiver.

Don't ask Questions!!! (If you do, we'll answer our own question)

Don't expect our focus to be Honesty and/or Kindness!!!!

I think we should add Articles of Faith in addition to Commandments.

We believe the brethren are to cherry pick what we are to think from the scriptures according to the PR and financial goals of the church.

Though shalt not hold previous, present or future prophets responsible for anything they say.

Corollary:
No apologies or refunds given for damages caused by church teachings.

Just so.

Being a Mormon is like Milan Kundera's The Joke, which is a satirical novel based on life in communist Czechoslovakia. The protagonist is a good committed youth with a promising party future ahead of him. But one day he writes a postcard to his girlfriend ironically inscribed, "Optimism is the opium of the people. Long live Trotsky." Some post officer on whom the humor was lost reported the card to the authorities, who then ruined the man's life.

Mormonism is the same way. No one is safe who raises her head above the parapet no matter how sincere she is in her religion. You get punished not for what you have done but for being someone who could conceivably become a threat at some point in the future. The church neither forgives nor forgets.

So I say, obedience is the opium of the people. Long live Faun Brodie.

  
    

Juanita Brooks was my heroine

I almost went with her. It was a toss up.

ETA: The reason I went with Brodie was that the Trotsky parallel worked better. Brooks was an outsider, not a member of the Mormon elite. Brodie was the prophet's niece; she was more like Trotsky, the man who arose from within the ruling party but then was driven out of the community and ultimately assassinated in exile.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2023 10:02PM by Lot's Wife.

It seems like I vaguely remember Mel Brooks saying something about 15 commandments, or something. I could be wrong though.

Can’t help with an 11th, but my Lutheran Minister had a 13th. Thou shall bring a notebook, pencil, textbook and Bible to confirmation class. Could have application for seminary.

The most important commandment is very simple - obey the leaders without any questioning.

Now some people might say "why" and this reminds me of why BYU is so important for the Church. When you say "why" I think "Y" and how important it is in the Church for people to go to one of the "Y" brand schools to get fully educated. I'll explain how it works.

(1) Born and go to nursery.
(2) Gain powerful testimony of the cheerios.
(3) Correlation program starts getting brain wired.
(4) Lifelong contract when super mature at age 8.
(5) Continue getting brain wired via Correlation.
(6) Grow a foot or two while getting brain wired.
(7) Last doubts in high school sr. year get focused on mission.
(8) Mission at 18-19.
(9) Off to "Y", meet eternal companion, temple marriage.
(10) Lots of babies & they go to nursery & start on step #1.
(11) Brain fully wired and family/education/career wired in too. As long as its all fully wired then doubts will get expelled immediately and the tithes, hours, and everything from you will flow into the dominion of the Brethren who will do all the thinking for you and you just have to think about obeying :) Then you'll be as non-delusional as me & congratulations to you as you will get the spend the rest of mortality being a good little lamb :) :)

When you have Faith, Facts don't matter.

"Having faith is all that matters!"

      --Rich People offering advice to
         poor people on how to eat well

Corollary:
Only evidence that supports our preconceived conclusions can be used.

Much truth and wisdom being imparted here this holy sabbath day in this congregation of honest seekers of both.

Maybe a congregation of "heretics and rebellious apostates". Depends on ones point of view.

I vote "Thou shalt Bow Your head and say yes" from Shineha

Its as close as you can get to: thou shalt bend over and take it and thou shalt pretend to enjoy it.