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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 03:13PM
Great way to increase membership and retention and temple attendance!

http://www.baynews9.com/article/news/2011/april/237089/Alligator-invites-himself-into-Palmetto-home
"My cats are like my daughters," she said.

They should perform animal sealings!

Worthy Mormons could take their pets to the temple and place them on the altar, er um have them sit near the altar and have them "sealed" to their owners!

A whole new market to exploit could be opened up in furnishing Mormons with special collars and clothing for the event.

I WOULD necessitate a revelation and it would have to be excluding of most animals. Wouldn't want Goldy the Goldfish needing to be sealed. God could tell Tommy that only cats and dogs are allowed a sealing as they are the most righteous of pets.

Dogs are obedient - duh. And cats are um, cats are "clean."

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Posted by: grandma ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 05:44PM
You made me laugh out loud for quite a long time. Thank you! (n/t)


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Posted by: brefots ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 05:49PM
Hmmmm

Somehow pet garmies does not appeal to me...

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Posted by: lillium ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 05:50PM
Re: Hmmmm

Yeah and I'm not sure TSCC would even want the tithe. Mice, pens, straws and milk jug rings.

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 05:58PM
Hah! I can just imagine Bosco around all those people in white:

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2063/50/96/678203574/n678203574_1389501_779.jpg

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 06:01PM
Re: Great way to increase membership and retention and temple attendance!

my (not-so-humble) advice:
Ditch the Temple/Pet suggestion' ppl MIGHT think yr 'serious'


just sayin'

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Posted by: emanon ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 06:02PM
Re: Great way to increase membership and retention and temple attendance!

LDS Inc. would have to get the dogs and cats to stop practicing polygamy and polyandry and start being monogamous.
I don't know. Maybe they are saving this special practice (of pet sealings) for the second coming, when it'll be okay for all to continue the practice of having multiple spouses.

:)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/24/2011 06:03PM by emanon.

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Posted by: MJ ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 06:16PM
The one TRUE god would never let it happen....

http://www.pawesome.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/ceiling_cat1.jpg

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Posted by: beulahland ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 06:19PM
Re: Great way to increase membership and retention and temple attendance!

My dogs masturbate CONSTANTLY and I'm pretty sure one of them is gay. How can I get them to see the light of the one true god so that they can be clean enough to be sealed to me for all eternity?

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Posted by: matt ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 08:22PM
Thank GOD the cats were all right.

That story could have had such a bad ending.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 09:30PM
But about temple retention...

It would help so much if there were waffles and coffee in the celestial room. After 2+ hours of sitting and standing and watching The World's Most Boring Movie, people should be rewarded.

BTW, did they ever do a thing on Mystery Science Theatre lampooning the temple movie? Seems to me they should have.


PS: Sorry, Matt. Seems I replied to the wrong thread. Meant to reply to my own.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/24/2011 09:31PM by cludgie.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 09:27PM
Holy sh*t! What a thing to walk into.

On the other hand, he didn't cost anything, I guess. Hmm. Free alligator. Sweet.

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Posted by: Anon for this ( )
Date: April 24, 2011 09:36PM
Until goldfish can tithe, they are not wanted. And my labrador is black. (n/t)


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