I have a very cute and sweet dog. She is an under-the-fence mutt, and the combination worked for her. I don’t know what I would do without her. I also have a wife. She is pretty as well, but beyond that leaves a lot to be desired. Marrying her is one of the biggest regrets of my life, and a decision that was heavily influenced by idiotic Mo teachings. Thank you very much Moism. (I feel very stupid for staying with her, but that may end soon.)

I know it is an unfair comparison - man’s best friend versus a man’s wife. But in an attempt at humor therapy, below are the:

Top Ten Things I Can Say About my Dog, and Unfortunately Not About my Wife.

10. She has a very talented tongue and likes to use it.

9. She is almost always happy, and when she isn‘t it is usually easy to figure out why.

8. When I’m not happy she tries to help me feel better.

7. She is sad when I leave and when I come home she is so excited she jumps on me and licks me.

6. She is affectionate and likes it when I touch her.

5. She likes us to give each other a workout every day.

4. Other people frequently comment on how happy and friendly she is.

3. She appreciates me and what I do.

2. She gets excited and runs to share my bed at night.

1. She lowers my stress level.

And the bonus: I can accurately refer to her as a bitch without serious consequences.

I love my dog.

my dog was killed. It was much more difficult to lose my dog than my ex. I can say that for each dog I've lost. I don't think you are terrible at all.

I am good friends with my ex now--but there is something to be said about LOYALTY and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

Sometimes I think that dogs should have been the species that evolved.

Joe Smith would have been a hound dog. :o)

I love it!

+1

So what's the problem--does your wife not worship you or roll over and play dead, doesn't obey your every command?

You cannot blame Mormonism for marrying the wrong person. I waited until my early 30s for the right man. And yes, I was still active and believing then. I didn't succumb to the pressure to marry just any nice guy who was a righteous priesthood holder. If you gave in to the pressue to get married to someone you were not suited to, don't blame the LDS church and don't blame your wife. Grow up and take responsibility for your choices and do something about them.

I'm taking a wild guess here--your wife is probably a good person, but you two are ill-suited. You should divorce her and let her find someone who is better suited for her.

Live a long and happy life with your dog. I hope you grow up before you get married again. I am not sure if I should dispise you or pity you.

Truly said! Whether by pressure or by indifference in a culture that places so much emphasis on getting married young the end result is the same. Younger Mos are still getting married under duress and that leads to bad decisions in a mate. Simple as that, and spoken from one who lived it.

My mega turbo tbm wife bought a dog and showered it with all kinds of affection instead of me. Probably my fault since I won't dance to the "Mo" dance anymore.

The interesting thing is that the dog won't have much to do with her anymore and is always with me. The dog can't wait till I get home from work to be all over me. Dog won't obey her or give her a nod but she will do anything I ask.


Karma is a bitch..

I don't see how it's relevant that your dog, Karma, is female, but she sounds like a great dog.

The longer you are gone, the happier they are to see you when you get home.

Forgive the emotion in my post tonight R.F.M. I'm usually funny. Tonight I'm slightly P.W.I. Thanks Timothy, I've had a little too much of the good stuff tonight. SL Cabbie no worries, I'm already at home, nobody needs a ride.

Tonight I recall the day my best friend died. He was a good friend. He loved me, I loved him. There were no conditions in our friendship. There were no, "you be this" and in exchange, "I'll be that" and then we can be friends if it's socially acceptable. He didn't care who or what I was. I didn't care who or what he was. He was my friend and he loved me back. The relationship was purely platonic. We were best friends. I was a man. He was a dog.

My dog taught me all I'll ever need to know about love. Love (real love), has no conditions or expectations. Love will wait for you all day just to see you for a few minutes. Love doesn't care what you are, who you are, or what you did that day. Love, (or if you prefer the Mormon definition), "charity," does not give a flying shit about anything other than you. Real love loves you no matter what. Real love has no strings, no requirements and no pretense. Real love, in my experience, is the love of a dog.

I know of only one instance that Napoleon Bonaparte was recorded by his soldiers to have wept. It was when he saw a dog who would not leave the corpse of his dead master, and the dog howled day and night for his lost friend. Even a man who crowned himself emperor, killed tens of thousands, and defied all authority but his own, knew real love when he saw it; and he saw it in a dog.

I recall the day my dog died. I lost my best friend that day. He was my friend from junior high to college, most of my adolescent to adult life. He died when a speeding car hit him. He died quickly, and I'm glad for that.

My T.B.M. mother tried to keep this knowledge from me for years. "He must have run away," she said. "You might still find him someday," she said. She knew the truth. He had been killed by a speeding car. The bastard even got a citation for it. She lied to me. He (my dog), never lied to me.

Why did mom lie to me? I'm sure her intentions were good. But her intentions are irrelevant. Lies do harm. Truth, no matter how painful, is better than to tell lies.

Ten years later I wish I could have buried my best friend. I could have if she had she told the truth. Ten years later, I wish I could have said goodbye to him. I could have had the truth been told. Ten years later, the lie still hurts a lot more than the truth would have. I wish I had the chance to say goodbye to my best friend.

Damn the lies, and damn Mormons for thinking lies do not harm.

As I see it, love means honesty. Even if honesty isn't pleasant. Even if love comes from a tragedy or bad news. Even if the most honest person you ever knew wasn't even a person but a dog. Honesty is love, at least to me.

Dear old friend, you have no eulogy. You have no tombstone. There is no memorial to honor you. Lies prevented that. This post is the best I can do for now. Someday there will be a headstone with your first name and my last name on it. I love you old friend. You showed me real love. I miss you even now. You taught me what love really is. May you be known for what your were. You were honest. You were incapable of anything but honestly, May this be your eulogy. You were a good boy.

I have no doubt, that all dogs really do go to heaven. Because if dogs don't, nobody will.

In the name of whatever the hell is really God, Amen.