I heard an interesting tidbit about a second cousin of mine. She's always been TBM and married a Catholic guy from a farm family I also know and they've had 7 or 8 kids together. Well I was having coffee with a former business colleague of her husband (they were both very successful and wealthy investment bankers) this afternoon and he told me that my cousin told her husband after about 5 or 6 kids had been born that either he was going to get baptized in to the church or she'd divorce him and clean him out (he did and is a bishop now). Wow. I was blown away.

RB



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/29/2016 07:14PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

No clue. We haven't talked since our sons were in elementary school together. I don't associate with my Mormon cousins other than at funerals. I don't get invited to their weddings.

RB

What a price to pay! I would doubt he believes. I wonder how many are in the same position he is.

[sarcasm off]

Sad. : (

Ron! You've got a CATHOLIC bishop as a relative? Who would have thought! :D :D :D The bishop's Boner

Truth be told, Boner, since finding my birth family last year, my Burr family relatives significance in my life has dropped precipitously. I don't need any negative vibes from a bunch of TBM's in my life that have always judged me on my being adopted.

RB

Ron, I'm thrilled about your birth family encounter! And, you're absolutely right about getting rid of the negative influences. Here's to the Lethbridge Reprobate--three cheers and fuck the Morg!

+++++

I sure do wish my birth son felt that way about my family. His adoptive mother has threatened him with severing her ties and purse strings if he continued to have contact with me or his half-siblings. He was treated as a second class citizen by his adoptive family, according to some of his relatives who knew him growing up. It made me furious when I learned that, after LDS Social Services made false representations to me throughout the adoption process.

His adoptive family have been only calculating and cruel to me, with the exception of his grandmother who really wanted us to meet. She told me it was her DIL who forbade it, and would get very angry with the grandmother if she knew she were corresponding with me. It was his grandmother and late father who were/are his favorite relatives though, and they both wanted us to meet. So I'm hopeful that when his 'other' mother is deceased maybe he'll be ready to meet his half-siblings and me.

That's bizarre about your cousin-in-law being held hostage to his wife's demands like that.

Can't begin to imagine how resentful and manipulated he must've felt to be threatened that way. To be a bishop though? Well is sounds like he's been thoroughly brainwashed lock, stock, and barrel.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2016 01:54PM by Amyjo.

Woman TBM, Husband Catholic.I'll assume, he was a somewhat lax Catholic to marry a TBM woman. (Begs the question, what kind of "TBM" woman marries outside her church?)

Her ultimatum: Convert, or walk. So he converts. A very hormonal conversion, in that their hormones have created a half-dozen kids.

Now he's a bishop! It seems to me that (1) he's very good at faking a testimony, and (2) the stake president was not very diligent or discerning in calling him. I'd be fascinated to know what kind of bishop he is, RB. My guess is, a very good one, in that he probably adjusts his bishop's manual with a lot of his pre-"conversion" concepts, beliefs, and wisdom.

Very seriously, RB--I'd love to hear more on this.

I doubt I'll be able to contribute much more on this story, caffiend. I never see them anymore and this info came from my friend. But love is blind...and sometimes, stupid too. And his wealth would be an easy target for a shyster divorce lawyer so I imagine he'd tough it out no matter what as I doubt she'd ditch the cult. Most of my Burr cousins are TBM's for the long haul.

RB

But if she pressured him to change religions...

...mental cruelty?
...irreconcilable differences?
...(other)?

I can't speak for him but I imagine he did/does love her and I know he's a good and loving dad to his kids. That and the fear of facing financial ruin probably had something to do with his decision.

RB



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2016 12:51AM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

Many of my Burr TBM relatives can be seen on Sundays carrying their scriptures around all fucking day. WTF is that all about? Do Mormons believe there will be a moment during Sundays proceedings where it will be necessary to whip open their D&C and spew forth scripture and doctrine?? I continue to be baffled by the total fucking weirdness of Mormons.

RB

My nevermo mil lives in an Arizona retirement community. She's always telling us stories of couples that are in their 70's, and 80's getting divorced. It used to just amaze me that people could be married from age 20 and then call it quits at age 70 or 80 and then get divorced. I couldn't see the point.

After hearing this story, I get it. Better late than never.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/29/2016 11:21PM by madalice.

As the old joke goes, they wanted to wait until their children had died.

Sounds like the Captain and Tenille, the songsters from the 70's.

After 39 years of marriage he developed a mild form of Parkinson's Disease that left him debilitated, and instead of being there for him in his declining years she up and left.

Toni took most of the money from their marital property, bought a posh house in an upscale area, and kissed his butt goodbye. While he was forced to move from their marital home, into a small apartment. Muskrat love?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2016 03:09PM by Amyjo.

The inactive Jack Mormon my mom married got divorced because his TBM ex-wife wanted to be with a fellow Mormon, and he went totally inactive at some point. The only reason he won't resign is that his TBM daughters would shun him, and he'd never get to see his grandchildren again. I consider him a Jack Mormon because if he thinks you're criticizing the church in any way, he reverts to TBM mode. The daughter he had with that ex is the one who put in her mission paperwork as soon as the age lowering announcement was made, then got married to a fellow RM after a brief courtship and engagement before she was home for a year, then got pregnant relatively quickly, so her child is going to be born about a month before her first wedding anniversary.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2016 04:40AM by adoylelb.

I warned em...but they did it anyway...couple sons dipped into the mormon gene pool for a spouse...after only knowing each other six weeks she dropped the ultimatum...get married right now or not at all...i warned him not to take ultimatums or hed be taking them the rest of his marriage...never guess what happened jk...they did and he is...thanks to grant palmer shes now joined the dark side and it was like a grenade in the chicken coop with her family...so far im impressed with her resolve...its great to be impressed now and then...doesnt happen real often...nothing says family like garment burning in the back yard

So is this another example of a woman oppressed by the patriarchy?

Kind of makes my point that women are running the show behind the scenes. Threaten divorce or withhold sex if you don't comply.

Wonder how many threats she had to make to get him to bishop?

Yah, The nut case woman that I was married to started up with that kind of coercive crap after she had a couple of kids and I had bought a house for the family so she could use that stuff as an anchor for her threats. Yah, I lost everything that I owned, but I refused to go back to the filthy foul disgusting MORmON church.
And I dumped her filthy foul ass too. I paid dearly, but Things did not go according to her plan.

In my cousin's (actually second cousin) case she was raised by her mom, my first cousin, a strong independent TBM widow who lost her husband 40 years ago. I was quite surprised to hear how she had demanded her husband convert or else. I did know, however that her husband's family wasn't happy about him abandoning his Catholic faith.

RB



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2016 10:26PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

TBM woman marries affluent Catholic farmer. I'll assume he was not a particularly observant RC, and it sure makes me wonder about TBM wife. Several children later, he's heavily invested in the marriage. TBM wife has apparently been biding her time, and gives him an ultimatum: Convert, or I go. What with children and common property, he does. (Is the word "capitulate" appropriate here?)

What especially intrigues me is the how and when he made bishop. Was he faking it (assuming he was a lapsed Catholic) and conned the stake president? A scarcity of qualified men in the ward? Does his calling validate the (prosperity gospel) thesis that secular success and wealth = virtue = appropriate qualification for church office?

And, for that matter, how long and how active was he a member before being called as bishop? Did he have intermediate callings? I'll wager he's good, as he probably brings a secular-ecumenical mix of wisdom to his office, and (if my hypothesis is correct) is not especially beholding to LDS theology.

This may also confirm the wisecrack about how a bishop is chosen: "Find the most active & effective woman in the ward. Then call her husband as bishop."

Last thought: Biblical qualification for bishop (1 Timothy 3): "not a recent convert..."

To clarify, the guy is a farm boy like me but chose investment banking after college and made a fortune at it, so the pot of gold under his rainbow was a desirable target.
What will always give me pause though is, given the ultimatum he was given, how much of the love in their marriage is real given that it is and forever will be, conditional. I am married to a Catholic too, but neither of us have ever threatened each other with divorce if we refused to convert to the other's faith...and now that I don't have one it's moot...plus I ain't gonna start going to mass at this late time in my life.

RB

Follow the money. Big income....mucho tithing...

RB

If you think this is bad, consider one of my TBM cousins, long ago deceased who'd been a bishop for a stretch during his long married life to his TBM spouse.

He didn't blackmail his wife, no. But when she got terminal cancer and he couldn't have sex with her anymore?

He dumped her! After raising a brood of children. He left her for some body he could get it on with. There was a guy who was devoutly Mormon, even when he dumped his wife for the other woman.

His wife died without his support. I was astonished when my dad told me this. He was about the same age as my dad was, they'd been close like brothers growing up. My dad was really teed off with him over that. But he did it for his libido.

Albeit that was the straw that caused the cousin to go inactive. He was likely given the 'boot' by his local ward. How he could leave his wife during the most trying time of her life I'll never understand.

I'd get back to her by Fucking RS or Primary president.....