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Posted by: copostmo ( )
Date: March 01, 2016 12:21PM

I left the Church a little over three years ago, and started posting on RfM shortly thereafter:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,762474

I was fairly active on RfM for about a year. I kept coming back here because I was the only one in all of my extended family to leave the Church, and I appreciated hearing stories and getting feedback from other people who knew what I was going through. I stopped posting using my username a little over three years ago, because I found out that my wife was reading all of my posts, and it was causing friction in our marriage. I’ve posted under other usernames since then, though not as often as during that first year.

I posted a couple of days ago about a meeting I had last Sunday with a general authority:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1776705

I was asked for an update on my life, so here it is.

I had a struggle with my kids’ bishop regarding sexually invasive interviews. I asked him not to discuss anything of a sexual nature with my kids. At first, he refused to stop, saying it was a bishop’s responsibility to address issues of sexual purity with the youth. I decided to send an email to Christian ministers in the area, asking them whether they ask these kinds of questions. The responses overwhelmingly condemned the Mormon Church’s practice. I sent these responses to the bishop and the stake presidency:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,925488

The bishop eventually agreed to not ask anything of a sexual nature in interviews with my kids, and he now allows me to sit in on all interviews. This has been a wonderful thing, as I’m sure that they are much more guarded in what they say to my kids, and there’s less indoctrination than I think there otherwise would be. My kids don’t mind me being there, and I think it’s helped our relationship.

I also posted about an email my brother sent me accusing me (erroneously and out of the blue) of being addicted to pornography:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,967521

He also said that it was my addiction to pornography that caused me to leave the church, so I wouldn’t feel guilty about my porn addiction. This seriously strained my relationship with this brother, but he has since apologized, and we have a great relationship.

My youngest brother left the church a little over a year ago. It is great to have someone else in my extended family I can relate to. Shortly thereafter, he married another exmo, and he and I have become very close.

When I posted previously, my five kids were all firm believers in the Church. Within the last few months, my oldest son has taken a step back from the Church. He is still a member, but he no longer attends seminary and rarely goes to church. He had been planning on attending BYU all his life, but now BYU is off his list, and he’s considering Stanford and MIT, among others. He’s doing well in school and in life. The other four kids are all still TBM.

My wife and I had a rocky couple of years. I posted about an emotional affair she had a little over a year ago with another man:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1448778

But we’ve patched things up, and our marriage is doing well. It’s not ideal, but we make it work.

I appreciate all the help RfM has been over the last few years. Lots of good people here.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: March 01, 2016 12:41PM

I'm very happy to hear how well everything is working out.

What a great thing you did for your children about the interviews. It was ingenious of you to get backup on this issue from some more normal less cultish churches. Thank you for being willing to press the issue for the sake of you children and for your own peace of mind.

Perhaps other parents reading this will follow your example.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 01, 2016 01:52PM

copostmo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> But we’ve patched things up, and our marriage is
> doing well. It’s not ideal, but we make it
> work.

Glad that situation didn't hurt you more. Marriage is hard I believe. I might be wrong but with Mormonism in the mix = extra-hard.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: March 01, 2016 01:57PM

Thank you for the update. You are an example of just hanging in there, working through the problems, and setting boundaries. It appears to me that your marriage partnership and family are more important than a difference of faith based beliefs and everyone has the right to their own personal choices about that subject.

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