I'm not a newbie, but I still remember my first time posting..I was newly out and asked a sincere question and one very influential person on this board told me that I was a typical Mormon for overstepping my boundries for telling her how she "should" feel (I guess to some asking a question that they don't like=accusation?). Once this influential board member lashed out at me it was like blood in the water and and everyone jumped in accusing me of being a troll and being insincere. I should have known better because I had lurked her for a while on this board and I knew how vicious things could turn, particularly back then. The only person who even gave me any kind of encouragement or real answer to my question was SuzieQ. If it was not for her kind words and encouragement I likely would not have came back again.
SweetZ Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm not a newbie, but I still remember my first > time posting..I was newly out and asked a sincere > question and one very influential person on this > board told me that I was a typical Mormon for > overstepping my boundries for telling her how she > "should" feel (I guess to some asking a question > that they don't like=accusation?). Once this > influential board member lashed out at me it was > like blood in the water and and everyone jumped in > accusing me of being a troll and being insincere. > I should have known better because I had lurked > her for a while on this board and I knew how > vicious things could turn, particularly back then. > The only person who even gave me any kind of > encouragement or real answer to my question was > SuzieQ. If it was not for her kind words and > encouragement I likely would not have came back > again.
I'll bet I could name two or three people and your attackers name would be among them. I really think these people do more harm than good here.Something similar happened to me fairly soon after I started posting. I considered leaving too. I woner how many people actually do leave.I think it is really unfortunate. It takes courage to start posting and newbies or anyone else for that matter don't need to be flamed for holding a different opinion from the board big wigs.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2011 02:27AM by bona dea.
bona dea Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'll bet I could name two or three people and your > attackers name would be among them. I really think > these people do more harm than good here.Something > similar happened to me fairly soon after I started > posting. I considered leaving too. I woner how > many people actually do leave.I think it is really > unfortunate. It takes courage to start posting and > newbies or anyone else for that matter don't need > to be flamed for holding a different opinion from > the board big wigs.
I've noticed this too. If you make some ex mos think too much, some revert back to their mormon style of training, thinking, and indoctrination.
I attribute it to a type of PTSD which others have referred to on this board.
Though many here are ex mos (I'm not), there can still be a "herd mentality" amongst many of them and if you or someone deviate from what "all" exmos think/feel, it does anger some..
I thought I knew pretty much everything about the lies and deceit in the mormon church, and found there was even more to learn.
It was fun to come on here and begin to learn from many smart people that really do think and KNOW their stuff AND can document it, and to learn some things I had not even thought about or heard of before.
Like the fact, for example , that JS and Oliver gave differing accounts of the restoration of the aaronic priesthood, JS saying they gave it to one another in his own history and Oliver saying they received it from John the Baptist. Did I get that right? If not, feel free to correct.
In all my left I never heard about that. Just assumed it was J the B, like they taught us in Primary. That difference is a huge deal if you think about it! Just one of hundreds of nails in the coffin.
Now, after I finally got over the feeling like I should snitch on myself to the bishop, I am completely addicted and can't stop! Sometimes I do it in the morning, sometimes at night, in the afternoon, at work, home, and in front of my wife or friends. Also, I like to look at everyone else doing it. I pay close special attention to the first timers too. I just can't control myself! I am a RfM "posting" freak!
Scary. I feel like I don't belong anywhere now. I can't go back to my zealous convert TBM life because once you know the truth--and I do--you can't shut it out again (if even you'd want to--and I don't). And, after all the lies and deceit of TSCC, I don't trust anyone anymore, so I never know how my posts might be interpreted.
Still, after a long time--maybe 2 years--of lurking, I feel a kinship here. You guys all help me to stay sorta sane even when all I do is lurk.
Do more than lurk. Many people here help others sort through issues. But we must know what the issues are. Glad you are out and in time you will relax more about it.
honestone Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Do more than lurk. Many people here help others > sort through issues. But we must know what the > issues are. Glad you are out and in time you will > relax more about it.
Thank you, honestone. Like some others here, I struggle with PTSD. It predates my joining TSCC, but finding out how much the Morg lied to me, and continues to lie to its members, triggered some old stuff. So, I guess, lurking here is kind of like hiding under a table until I'm sure it's safe to come out. When I do post, it's like I come out from under the table for an instant and then, whoosh, back under it to hide again. Anyway, thank you for your support.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2011 10:44PM by Sorcha.
Kinda nervous for me. I found this site by accident while searching for information after slinking out of my last sacrament meeting. It took my awhile to realize I could register on the board too! :)
I really enjoy the conversation you all post, especially when it comes to Raptor Jesus and the older people here. I may not comment on everything (who has the time) but i always try to read and provide my own two cents when able.
Not a newbie here, but I do remember it was a friday...... I was somewhat confused about everything. This board showed me that the roses DO have thorns. Love y'all.
I'm fairly new to these parts, and I remember in my first post I hovered over the 'post message' button for a good 5 minutes thinking "This is it. There's no going back now." I was scared, ashamed, embarrassed, and pretty sure that I was going right into outer darkness.
Reminds me of the scene in the Movie "Saved!" where Jenna Malone is standing on the grass and starts very deliberately swearing and she just waits for a moment for the lightening.
I had been lurking for a while and was paranoid just doing that. I was delighted that other people had doubts and rebellious feelings - as I did - and who even thought the temple was creepy, not sacred.
But that first post - I was petrified that Somebody would find out. What if They had our computer "tapped?" I was ever so careful to leave out any details that could even remotely be traced back to me.
Like a little kid, I was afraid of "getting in trouble." I was a fiftysomething adult at the time.
Kinda sad, to look back at the very real terror experienced by TBM's.
Super scary. And I was afraid nobody would respond. Reading your posts is very healing but posting is intimidating as hell. Y'all have an established group out here and it's really hard to engage you in conversation. So it's easier on the self esteem to lurk.
No, don't feel that way. Most people respond to a post if they feel they have something to add.....but if someone has already said it then maybe no. But it is rare no one responds to a post.
It was kind of like having sex for the first time. I really wanted to do it, gave in to the temptation during a moment of weakness and it was over before I knew it.
Then the overwhelming sense of guilt. I felt dirty and took a shower.
It felt a lot like the first time I posted on an uber TBM board after quitting the Morg. Suspicion and paranoia so thick you could cut it with a knife. I don't see how some of you can function in the world with such consuming hatred. I can't help but think that some of you must have been born f---ed in the head.
This site helped me tremendously! I was ECSTATIC to find that there was actually a site where I could read about others' experiences in leaving the church, and to know that I was not alone. At first, I was very hesitant to post anything, because I was so afraid of anyone finding out my true identity. Why is that? I think we all feel the same...
It was so scary for me that I posted as "anon", thinking "there's no turning back now", but it felt like I was flipping off the GAs at general conference, and it felt good. :) I was worried for a moment that TSCC may be able to track my IP address, and I certainly wasn't going to offer up my email address for some TBM thought police to crack the site and track me down. But it was very liberating.
I lurked for about six months before my first post. So I felt pretty comfortable with the board culture. That was also long enough for me to find that my intended moniker was not in active use. I steered clear of posts with arguments for the first couple of years.
I read on another board that some people found that they didn't get adequate support on RfM. That hasn't been my experience since I've been here. I feel that the majority of sincere posters get a good, and sympathetic response (although the board is so fast moving, some posts fall of the first page or two very quickly.)
summer Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I lurked for about six months before my first > post. So I felt pretty comfortable with the board > culture. That was also long enough for me to find > that my intended moniker was not in active use. I > steered clear of posts with arguments for the > first couple of years. > > I read on another board that some people found > that they didn't get adequate support on RfM. That > hasn't been my experience since I've been here. I > feel that the majority of sincere posters get a > good, and sympathetic response (although the board > is so fast moving, some posts fall of the first > page or two very quickly.)
I really like most of the posters or I wouldn't be here, but I do understand the view of people who have left the board because they don't get enough support. There are a lot of them on Post Mo. It is hard to feel comfortable and stick around if you were flamed for your first post.There are a few posters who get rabid when certain subjects are brought up Most posters are supportive but there are a few who spoil things.
Not a newbie anymore, but the first time was scary, and it still is scary sometimes, when people accuse you of being a troll. Why can't we all just get along and agree to disagree like gentlemen?
Mateo Pastor Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Not a newbie anymore, but the first time was > scary, and it still is scary sometimes, when > people accuse you of being a troll. Why can't we > all just get along and agree to disagree like > gentlemen?
+1 but don't forget women acting like ladies. We have probably all said things here that we shouldn't have, but a few posters make a career out of it.
Most of us here love new posters, their stories and ideas. There are a few that post that have no life, criticize everyone and everything, and had nothing constructive to say. Remember you new posters, there is no IQ test need to be on the board, as some think that beingt an ass is their greatest personaility attribute. Just ignore the nit wits and please let the rest of us learn from your experience and ideas.
I've posted twice and feel o.k. about it. I joined the church in 1970. I'm not sorry that I joined but I am sorry it took me so long to learn the truth. My ex didn't think I was enough like the "profit" so she ran off with someone who was. Ha! what a joke. I kept praying to learn the truth and I find that I'm learning what the truth is not. I suppose that in a round about way it's the same thing. I really didn't want to tell my son that I was leaving the church but had to be truthful with him. He smiled and said he has never belived and was glad I was leaving. That was six years ago. I get angry at the church for all the lies from time to time but I get over it and move on. Best wishes to all.