My mother-in-law and I have had something of a falling out recently over my um, activities with her daughter (this episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the letters "B" and "J"). I mourn the loss of our beautiful friendship. Don't tell anyone, but I secretly cry myself to sleep while clutching MIL's picture every night. This is possible due to the invention of wide-angle lenses.

Ok so it's commercially constructed, obligatory gift-buying mommy's day. I'm sure you noticed. So what does one buy for a woman who has eaten everything? I'd like it to be sensitive, thoughtful, yet pejorative. Something that says, "Your sweet spirit has blessed my home more times than I thought possible." Or, "Mom. You make every day of my life worth writing about!"

What I'm looking for is ambiguity. A gift that you're not quite sure how to take. Something that might say, "I love you." But might also say, "Up yours." Thus far, my ideas have been:

• A cactus
• A bad lawn ornament.
• An MLM subscription.
• Imposter perfumes.

Any better ambiguous ideas?

or you could have a star named after her, which she very well knows is already named by her alien god elohim...

(also, how exactly does your MIL have such detailed information about your sesame street activities? that's a little crazy to me)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/06/2011 06:10PM by chulotc.

MiB's wife let it slip during an argument. Apparently you haven't been keeping up. ;-)

I don't expect anyone to keep up on my personal story or antics. I write for myself, like journal, except with funny comments. I'm not that important, not even in my own eyes.

In sum, DW fought with MIL over bedroom practices in marriage. I knew nothing of it until after the whole thing hit the fan.

Should you like a true but funny read start here. If not, I still like you.

exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,167884,167884#msg-167884



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/06/2011 08:09PM by The Man in Black.

How about a gift card to Victoria's Secret, cuz she's such an angel?

she sits around the house.

Perhaps not a dubious charity but one to get her goat- how about the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Alliance (gets 4 stars from Charity Navigator!) or Greenpeace or PETA?

Sorry. That was uncalled for.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/06/2011 07:49PM by verdacht.

Get her a Sqweel.

;-)

a bullet, delivered at a very high rate of speed (I kid! I kid!)

the bigger, the better.

I got it! How about some left over, 75% off Easter candy.

A gift card to a cheap store or an inexpensive restaurant may be the thing to do. K-mart, Walmart come to mind.

I always look through the Deseret Book catalog and get my TBM mom the thing I would most hate. She always loves it.

Isn't that sweet? Blech.

get her a gift certificate from slumberparties.com, cause she apparently needs to "get some"

A paint by numbers picture of Jesus would be nice.

A vibrator

I got her a self-help book from a used book store. Yes it was Covey, and yes she seemed to love it.

That was a great gift for her.

Some day I gotta meet you.

I say we do someday Riverman.

I like to meet exmos. I buy them lunch, on me. I'm in Zion (SLC area) should you really want to meet me. Email trumanappleton@gmail.com or click my profile for the email.

Caveat: In writing I'm funny and silly, in person I'm a bit intimidating to most, but that's just a quirk of my personality. I'm not nearly as aggressive as it may seem :-). Hell, I may have even made Raptor's PTSD worse. Sorry Raptor. I'm much nicer than I may have seemed. I thought the world of you. You are a better writer than I.

MiB

Clue