The Internet offers anonymity to those who use chat rooms and discussion boards, and with this anonymity comes a tendency to be more critical or more rude than one would normally be in a personal, face-to-face conversation.

I recall the scene from Braveheart, when William Wallace tells the opposing English commander Cheltham: “Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse.” Wallace’s companion (Mornay) then comments: “I'd say that was rather less cordial than he was used to.” In personal conversations, we tend to be cordial and polite.

A few weeks ago, I posted on this board about coming home early from a weekend trip to find my wife packing up and leaving me. She had planned to be gone before I returned. I was in pain, I was hurting and confused. Can you imagine how sad it was that I needed to reach out to anonymous names on a discussion board to try to get some sense of compassion, a hint that maybe I was not a complete failure, worthless, a waste of flesh? I was thinking there was no sense to keep living.

Many of the responses were supportive – and I appreciated them very much – but some were ‘rather less cordial than I was used to.’ Maybe that was because this is an anonymous medium (although some would say that this anonymity encourages honesty).

Anyway, one of the comments on that thread was: “I'd leave your ass too. Sorry. Maybe y'all can get some marriage counseling so you can learn how to act like your spouse matters to you.”

Enough time has now passed so that I have settled down emotionally, my self-worth has improved, I have a reason to live. So now, I’d like to finally respond to that post: “If you were my wife, I’d help you pack, I’d load the car, and give you gas money. Bye!”

I haven't been on the board for some time, as I haven't had the internet, so I didn't read any of that. But I will say that those kind of posts are just plain asinine. If anyone thinks they can understand a situation well enough to pass judgement based on a few hundred or so words, they're full of shit. In fact, if anyone thinks they can understand a situation well enough to pass judgement, typically they're revealing their own judgmental pathologies to complete strangers. And of course I;m not talking about the obvious, like when someone tells you they just killed their spouse or something.

Sorry that happened to you. I hope you're recovering and doing better. It's tough to have your life shattered like that. Best of luck.