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Posted by: MadameRadness ( )
Date: May 11, 2011 03:02AM

After reading a reply post you made, I think I might know you...sorry, I know that's totally weird. I think I know you in real life actually....

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Posted by: Misfit ( )
Date: May 11, 2011 05:23AM

I've been all over-grew up in Hawaii, spent some time as a student in the SF Bay area and also in SLC. Now in So Cal.

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Posted by: Misfit ( )
Date: May 11, 2011 06:00AM

In the interest of full disclosure and damage control, if this is in reference to my response to Searching27's post, I am the author's uncle on his mother's side. Neither he nor his mother or father, nor his uncles on his father's side are in any way, to my knowledge, associated with apostate groups such as this one. THough I'd certainly recommend it to them!

if you know who I am, thats great! Then I'd be curious about you, too. If not, oh well...

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Posted by: MadameRadness ( )
Date: May 11, 2011 05:16PM

Holy shit.

I am your sister's former daughter-in-law. I never met you, but I know who you are. I never knew you left the church though.

I don't want to expose real-life names of your family, but if your sister is a Neuropsychologist in the Midwest with five kids, then she sure is my former mother-in-law.

For the record, her husband has one nephew who left the church as well, although I don't think he is active on boards like this.n

Just to give you a heads up, I have no idea how "out" you are to your sis or her family about your disbelief, just know that I would never share any info you post here with them. To be honest, none of them want much to do with me anymore anyway, so you are safe. : p

This is the second person I know here. Runtothehills is actually my neighbor, and I never knew til about a week ago. Small world huh?

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Posted by: Misfit ( )
Date: May 11, 2011 08:41PM

Haha, Bullseye! Yes, I know who you are too, then!


You know, I've only told a couple of things to DS in a very roundabout way, but she must be aware that I no longer believe, because I've said as much to our parents, and I'm sure they have passed that info on to her. The one advantage of being a convert is that when you come out, its no big deal to those who never bought into it in the first place.
My sister and I hardly ever communicate, so its not really a concern of mine anyway.
You say they don't want much to do with you. I hope that you are at least able to see your son on a regular basis. He seems to be a presence in alot of pics that I see on sister's FB, and he's cute as a button.

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Posted by: MadameRadness ( )
Date: May 11, 2011 10:30PM

Oh that's not a problem at all actually. We have joint custody, and the visitation is pretty fairly split between us in my opinion. The only trouble is now my ex wants to move to Utah, with my little one in tow.

When he asked me for my opinion, understandably I had to say "over my dead carcass", which of course has angered him greatly. In Illinois with joint custody cases neither parent can just leave the state with the child without the permission of the other one. So basically, he needs my blessing for that to happen and he isn't going to get it. It's naturally caused quite the ruckus.

When I say the family doesn't want much to do with me, I should probably clarify. They haven't intentionally shunned me by any means, they are really good people who actually take the 11th Article of Faith seriously. The problem lies more with my ex, who is somewhat insecure and doesn't want me to have a relationship with his family anymore. He's conned them into thinking I hate them and i'm some raging anti-mormon apostate. So to avoid conflict I just go with it.

It sucks though, I really love your sister. She never gave a damn about fitting into the Molly Mormon stereotype. She is smart and outspoken, I always looked up to her. Her husband may in fact be the most genuinely kind individual I know. I miss that family like crazy.

My ex's new wife is a California native, so hopefully the next trip they make to see her family they can swing to your neck of the woods so you can spend some time with the little guy. He is in fact, cuter THAN a button in person.

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Posted by: Misfit ( )
Date: May 12, 2011 02:41PM

Yes, sis is extremely intelligent, and a feminist, to boot. I don't understand how she manages to stay in the church.
I don't know if your ex or my sis knows that you peruse the internet exmo boards, but feel free to say something about my apostacy or "running into me virtually" to either sis or ex if the occasion ever arises. I'd love to see the expression on his face. At one time, I thought he'd made the exit, too, but then, when he got married at Nauvoo, I figure he's once again drinking the Kool-Aid, if only for family's sake.
Nice running into someone I know on the board!

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Posted by: MadameRadness ( )
Date: May 12, 2011 03:49PM

Eh, he sort of did. Basically a few months after we got married he stopped going to church. Maybe he believed in it, but he never made any effort to live according to the church's standards. Our branch more or less ignored his inactivity until he got caught having an affair or two behind my back. His parents caught wind of it and ushered him straight back into the fold where he was promptly disfellowshipped for a year. After we later got divorced he moved in with his parents, and you better believe he started acting like a proper Peter-priesthood after that.

I have no idea of his level of actual belief is. I know that when we were married, he could give a shit. Never went to church, never paid tithing, slept with half of the town, etc. But he certainly expected ME to behave like the perfect Molly Mormon. It was infuriating, especially since I more-or-less joined to appease him. I learned pretty quickly that his marriage to me was just a cover so his parents would stay off his back about the church.

He isn't a bad person, but the pressure to remain in the church has brought out the worst in him. I understand his motivation, I frequently felt like it was necessary to lie and manipulate other people in order to protect my "church" face if you get what I mean.

I actually may just mention something to him. If he reacts it would probably tickle me.

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Posted by: Misfit ( )
Date: May 13, 2011 11:34AM

I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through all of that. Let's hope that he has his issues worked out by now. Although, now that he has been through the insanity of the temple, and knows what the church is really all about, only time will tell.
I hope for his current marriage's sake that he really does believe, or that at least his current wife feels the same way about the church that he does, and maybe they both just went through the motions to please their families. Who knows. If they are both happy together, I guess thats all that counts.

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