:) it's good.

Wish I had more to say. I'm home in Arizona. I got the same job I had before I left to Idaho in the first place: pest control. I know I could do better, but my anxiety makes it difficult. For the time being it pays money and it's easy enough.

I don't really obsess about the church anymore. Only think about it when it comes up. Never thought I would ever be rid of the incessant fears I used to have about Mormon hell (spirit prison, outer darkness, etc.) But I can say absolutely that they are dead, quelled, put out... the embers aren't even warm. It's gone. :,)

I still stress about life. I'm anxious about all sorts of things. But the fear of Mormon hell does not paralyze me anymore. Anecdotes about the spirits watching my every move — the idea that Mormon Jesus winces in pain and sheds another drop of blood whenever I do so much a think a single thought in disharmony with Mormonism — the thought that if I am not worthy of Mormonism or my garments or my Priesthood something terrible will happen to me, or worse... to the ones I love — these do not trigger me anymore.

My brother, Chief, is living openly gay. He doesn't talk to the family about that side of his life, but he lives in confidence. For the most part it seems like everyone is getting along. Chief has new confidence that I want to emulate. And I'm helping a friend deal with his Post-Mormon-maniac Stress Disorder too.

Life is quiet. It feels less like a crisis all the time. November 2016 makes it, what, two years since my first post on RfM? It's been about 5 months since I finally graduated and got that degree. The feelings from this short journey make it feel sooo long, like different memories are from different epochs...

It feels good to have a centered self independent of Mormonism that can tell the church "no," and think of other things instead.

There are no strings on me.

Fun to see the progress. Good luck to you always.

Well stated. And well lived. Keep up the good work!

I'm glad that you feel more at peace. That's a good thing!

Yay!!! That's fantastic news! Bravo to you and Chief. I am so impressed by what you've accomplished in moving on. What you have done is no small feat and I hope you realize that. You've accomplished some Herculean tasks mental health wise and that really is fantastic. You've set the bar high for others like me to follow towards total closure.

mormons are anxious, in my opinion, above the norm because of the things that you identified, i.e. fears, guilt, etc. You will find that your anxiety level will dramatically reduce as you leave Mormonism. Be careful giving to much identifying data about yourself...still need that diploma, and you don't want to be outed. Hey nothing wrong w/ pest control as long as you do your best, learn all there is, and then think about opening your own business some day. Congrats on your upcoming graduation and for realizing at a young age that you were raised and brainwashed in a cult - but now your out.

This kind of post is great! It lets others know they can make the journey out of the corporation as well. It does not always go smoothly. In fact, is seems exiting rarely goes smoothly unless the whole family leaves together. The end result of leaving, regardless of the pain in the process, is that a whole new world opens before you. I am excited when a young person such as yourself is freed.

Good luck. I hope you will find time to keep us up to date on your adventures.

Such good news! Life isn't easy, but you've removed such a huge stress from your own life! And good news about chief, too!

what you have learned you are already putting to good use in helping others - all that pain and soul searching was not in vain. You are stronger now and you are setting an example to people (like chief) around you.

Well done.

Now, while you have time, you could do as many others have suggested many times previously; to pool all your writings together and make something publishable out of them. I'm sure you could do it easily :)

As many of us found out, the further away from mormonism a person gets, the more relief is found. I remember well the angst you went through when you were at BYUI. So glad you got out of there with your diploma and now moving on.

Congrats. IF you are home in AZ you could go for a post grad degree as ASU and UofA are both good schools. It will help you move past BUYID and into a career. Also lots of Comunity colleges there so if you need a few undergrad business classes or whatever they are cheap and easy to get.

Cold-Dodger, what made you question your faith? How long have you had doubts about your faith? How are your parents and family handling your decision? Did your bishop give you a hard time about resigning from the church?

pest control ?


mormons are pests.

For all the pest control experts in Arizona, there's still a big Mormon infestation problem. It's a bigger problem than fruit rats and gophers.

HORRAY FOR YOU BRAVE ONE!!!!!!!!! This means you are smart! Made me smile for you ---this post---I know it is not easy.....but good for you!!!! HUGS!

Congratulations! Life without LDS, Inc. on your back and in your pocket is so nice. Glad your anxiety has been lessened.

Congratulations!

I had tried to type con-GRAD-ulations up above, and just realized that spellcheck caught it.

Warmed my heart to read this, Cold-Dodger. I hope this holiday season is whatever you want it to be, whatever you need it to be, no strings attached.

You have much to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!!