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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: December 04, 2016 06:15AM

In another thread, RfM contributor, "weekend logout," noted:

"Steve, even your grandfather joined in the fun. On September 17, 1976, ETB delivered an address to CES employees. I think it was put into a pamphlet called 'The Gospel Teacher and His Message' because my reference has the following quote on p. 15:

"'You have been counseled repeatedly to 'live in the world, but not be one of the world.' Sometimes some of our members want to live as close as they can to worldly standards and yet qualify for a temple recommend.

-"'Live by the covenants you took in the temple;

-"'Do not live on the fringes.

-"'You will be judged:

-"'by the kinds of movies you attend,

-"by the way you dress, and

-"'by the music to which you listen.

"'Some years ago one of our teachers told his students that he used cola drinks and that it did not prevent him from holding a temple recommend. This was an indication of poor judgment on his part, and it illustrates what I mean by living 'on the fringes.' Live the spirit of the commandments.'" [close quote]

"'Official Church position'? The message was clear enough that it didn't have to be. Just like it's not an 'official Church position' to wear only white shirts or limit earrings to one per ear.

"(Note: This address was given in the same year as Ether's Monson story upthread. I wonder if ETB thought Monson had 'poor judgment,' too)."

Let the record show that the Mormon Church's "official positions" are as fixed as ward party Jell-O plates. In the Mormon Church's hallowed halls of hierarchy, the synonym for "modern-day revelation" is "shameless everyday expediency."

Noe, as far as my grandfather goes, he:

-wore old-style garments under his farmer bib overalls;

-walked out in the middle of popular "Saturday's Warrior" because he found its depiction of the Devil to be, well, satanic (I was there when the rest of us in the family dutifully got up and followed him out);

-loved buttermilk, topped off by even more buttermilk; and

-regarded "How Great Thou Art" as the greatest hymn ever (one that I must admit is in the Top 10 of the ones I still remember), followed by the close second of his, "We Thank Thee, Oh God, for a Prophet."

In other words, ETB's destined for a front row, red-cushioned General Conference seat in the Celestial Kingdom.

Me? I have:

-traded in my "modern-day" two-piece polyester mesh garments for colorful, no-strings-attached Fruit of the Loom underwear; tight jeans; long hair and a pierced earring (worn when I wasn't on duty as a fully-sworn cop;);

--decided to live "on the fringe" instead of joining Mormons in going over the edge;

-exchsnged my expired, tithing-contingent temple recommend in favor of a free-of-charge, permanent permission slip for living my life on my own terms;

-started drinking caffeinated Coca Cola after swearing off glasses of tongue-curdling buttermilk that Grandpa used to offer me when I would visit him in his Church-provided apartment;

-seen my share of some pretty good R-rated movies like "Schindler's List" and "Saving Private Ryan";

-enjoyed my daily can of chilled coffee, plus my favorite dining-out drink, Baileys and Cream; and

--denied the totally boring Holy Ghost in favor of DJing blow-the-roof-off rock 'n' roll dance parties, spinning everything from "Uptown Funk" to "Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress" (although, in fairness to Grandpa, I must admit that he was once spotted at a Benson family reunion dancing to Glen Campbell's decadent smash Gentile hit, "Southern Nights").

I'll do my gawddamn best to make Outer Dsrkness a lava lamp-lit good place to have a great and abominable temptation-tasty time.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/04/2016 06:17AM by steve benson.

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