Reading a book by Thomas Szasz I began to wonder what Psychiatry and Mormonism and by association all religions have in common with regard to validation of lies - self-deceptions or otherwise.
In searching for Szasz book I can across the work of this author.
http://www.carolhebald.com/works.htm
In reading the excerpt from "The Heart Too Long Suppressed I was struck by her question about people who have had worse experiences and have faired better in life. It made me wonder about Mormonism and its major role in my life. I think for many religion has scared people as much as anything designed to be coercive. I amazes me in looking on my life and other lives how we humans put up with the amount of coercive behaviors there are influencing us. Mormonism in my opinion is just one of many. These are things that by their design are about coercing people into accepting lies and making personal evaluations based upon standards others want to place upon them.

I can respect people more injuriously affected and effected by Mormonism, but I don't feel shameful for being as messed up as I am by Mormonism. If others can "moved on" with relative ease and fair better though they had much worse than I happen to them in the forms Mormonism tacitly accepts and coercively employs, I appluad you.

As for myself I can take Carol Hebald's words and put Mormonism in the place of schizophrenia and realize I have more work to do it help heal myself.
http://www.carolhebald.com/the_heart_too_long_suppressed_9352.htm
"In tracking the development of my former illness from infancy through middle age, I place within a historical context my and my helpers’ errors in judgment. I pinpoint what went wrong. What is the meaning of schizophrenia? To answer I re-enter the experience and clarify in human terms those “dissociative states of being” and “splits between mind and feeling” by which we are clinically defined. Is there really a private world peculiar to schizophrenics? In taking the reader through mine, I show an inner world of dream and desire at odds with an outer world of fact and experience common to us all. For what did I earn my label? How and why did I inadvertently court it? By what means did I get well?"

In tracking the development of my former religion from infancy through middle age, I place within a historical context my and my helpers’ errors in judgment. I pinpoint what went wrong. What is the meaning of Mormonism? To answer I re-enter the experience and clarify in human terms those “dissociative states of being” and “splits between mind and feeling” by which we are defined in Mormonism with the feelings taking precedence in Mormonism. Is there really a spiritual world peculiar to a person? In taking Mormonism's influence out of mine, I can have an inner world of dreams and desires not at odds with an outer world of Mormonism common to us all.

I think what is important to remember is that each person has had a different experience, as you noted, and each person deals with things differently. Some recover fast, some slow, and some never really get over it. And some, just like to sit around and laugh with and support those who are just now making that decision. So, no shame needed.

I say I'm over it, but there are times I see things and get pissed and go off the handle about things the mo's do, and other times I just laugh and go on. I do enjoy everyone's post though. Good and bad.

nickerickson Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I say I'm over it, but there are times I see
> things and get pissed and go off the handle about
> things the mo's do, and other times I just laugh
> and go on.

I'm hoping the older I get the more amusing the dystopia that is Mormonism will become for me.

Elder Berry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> nickerickson Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I say I'm over it, but there are times I see
> > things and get pissed and go off the handle
> about
> > things the mo's do, and other times I just
> laugh
> > and go on.
>
> I'm hoping the older I get the more amusing the
> dystopia that is Mormonism will become for me.


And even when I do laugh, sometimes I still get pissed, that I fell for it all and wasted my time. I don't think anyone ever completely forgets. Just life.

How do you know that they have fared better than yourself? As we know all too well - outward appearances lie.


I've been out in name since 2003, and to know me now - you would never think I was once a morgbot. I have almost achieved sucessful integration into 'normal' society lol

However, if you could see into my heart and mind I am still infected with random pieces of mormon programming that I can't manage to delete properly, and it pops up at the most random times. It's not been helped by my tbm aunt making me her ward project....... *sigh*

I spent over 30yrs immersed in mo-ism, I certainly don't expect for it to be fully erased in any less time than that.

hth :)

sparta Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I spent over 30yrs immersed in mo-ism, I certainly
> don't expect for it to be fully erased in any less
> time than that.

I don't expect it ever to be erased. At times I feel so conflicted with my Mormon "programming" that I get angry. I am the product of Morgbots who wanted to be held up as examples of good Mormons and had a dozen kids. I am literally the product of a religion. My mother would never have married without Mormonism. Being abused by her father and brothers made her into a man hater and she told me that if she didn't think it was choosing the right, she would have never conceded to marry my father.

On my father's part, he would have followed any program anyone in power had in place. He is a recalcitrant people-pleaser and the one thing he did that wasn't with tacit or otherwise approval was marry my mother and sire all the little Morgbots she wanted.

It is a hard pill to swallow that the origin of my existence isn't a fling in the backseat of a car, or people planning to welcome me as an individual into their world, but as a cog in a religion.

I'll get over it, but it will take some more time.

I sometimes think am I the crazy one now for leaving? I read my friend's facebook's and posts and think..I consider them a smart person..why are they still stuck in the church and being further brain washed. I feel sad for their families they are starting because those children will now be told what to believe as I was. I feel like my mind evolved at 22 and I was able to categorize and see the lies. I have my days when I think I am the one on the outside looking in..like why did I leave? I am 99 percent happy I left and I think as time goes by it will get easier. I stop in here and read about twice a week. it helps me heal. Thank you everyone for your posts. I know I am not alone in my struggles of getting use to the real world..it has been and is a hard adjustment for me.