in leaving Mormonism? Mine was and is, QUESTION AUTHORITY. I've been a heretic since I was a little kid, always looking out for abuse of authority. Scouts, priesthood "advisors", school teachers, military leaders, university professors, politicians, etc. "Don't study the mysteries"? Why, what is it you don't want me to find out? And that's where I would head, right into the darkness of ignorance, discovering for myself what it was that's being hidden. What character trait (or flaw, as my relatives would judge) most assisted you in leaving the herd?

For my daughter, a convert, I am hoping it will be her independent nature and her disgust of being given "orders" as to what to do, when, where etc. that will bring her to her senses. She doesn't take well to bossiness. She wouldn't read anything I wanted her to read before marrying a Mormon and I knew this would lead to converting. So I doubt she would read anything now. I think it is going to be how she is treated that will get her to open her eyes.

The church made so many interesting and exciting claims. There were so many avenues to pursue hidden or mystical or subtle truths. I loved it.
And unlike the experience of many, I was never discouraged. My teachers were honest and confident that when it comes to the tough questions, there had to be answers. So I was encouraged to ask the big questions.

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/16/2011 10:18AM by duffy.

I got tired of the arrogance and authority trip that many members lived on. Always reminding you of the "callings" they held. Got tired of being told what I was not in this life. Seems like all I heard was negitive. Most of the mormons I ever worked around was self centered and clanish.

I've been working in Journalism since I had a job on our small town newspaper when I was in high school. One thing I've learned is to make sure I'm right, then go ahead. I've had more story ideas shot out of the water and more articles ripped apart by editors than I care to think about so I've had to learn to take criticism without being offended and more importantly, I've had to learn when I'm right and be impervious to criticism and stand by my writing. To take a stand and not be budged. Also, I've learned when writing a story you can't believe hearsay and gossip. Your sources as well as your information have to be thoroughly researched. You have to study your subject from different points of view to get to the truth. You can't just take a leap and hope you are right - you have to prove you are or someone with shred you.

If I'd applied the skills I learned in journalism to Mormonism years ago, I'd have been out of the church then. But I didn't. Once I did, I was able to leave. Without being offended AND without them being able to budge my certainty that the church is false and, in fact damaging. No matter how much they weep and wail, they can't change my mind when I've taken a stand for the truth.

I don't know how anyone else can leave without that ability. The ability to be sure.

My determination to accept evidence impartially and base my conclusions without emotional clouding. I was so certain that this would keep me in the church, and I've been shocked at how few mormons take this approach. The level of emotional pressure exerted on me by my family has, however, turned it into an emotional issue, even though I still don't use those emotions in my determination of absolute truth (to the dismay of my family).

I always hated how prevelant sexism is in TSCC. I found more comfort in reading about the goddesses of other religions/mythologies. I also have an iron will to live my life the way I see fit; not to be told when, where, how I should live.

Mine would probably be compassion... I couldn't stand to see how TSCC treated other human beings and my heart ached for them. Compassion for women who were being treated like lesser beings; compassion for gays who were being condemned; compassion for those of other races and ethnicities who had been denied equality, etc. I think if we all had compassion, religion wouldn't matter.

I could no longer deny they were lying about that too !

Because an authority demands it doesn't make sense to me. I need to be able to generalize ideas and situations and not swallow anything whole. I won't and can't believe something that doesn't make a lick of sense or has conflicting aspects to it with no reasonable explanation.

Saying I must believe something because "authorities" or scholars believe it doesn't work for me because there are always other authorities and scholars with differing perspectives.

I couldn't bear testimony of something I didn't actually KNOW to be true.

I managed to avoid bearing testimony of the things that I was unsure of for 34 years. But eventually (when someone ASKED me to bear testimony), I had to face the fact that I did NOT have a testimony and that if it WAS true, my prayers should have been answered by 34 years old.

I'm not afraid to strike out on my own and figure it out as I go along.

Honesty.

People know I'm honest. And that I study things out. Being honest has helped me deal with TBMs (they don't question my sincerity) and led me to the inevitable conclusion that the church is a scam.

Liars tend to stay in the church despite the overwhelming evidence against it.

I dont like to be unsure about something. I hate to be told one thing and then given diffrent instructions later. Jusst one thing as an example is standing up infront of everyone and telling them I knew the church is true but then i'm not supposed to lie and also why is someone else telling me what I should be feeling?

That was constnt but then there was the whole thing that women were expected to be as put in another post humping posts and dinner despensers. Yet being desabled I was tought that this probably isnt something i'd be able to do so if I was lucky i'd be a humping post and dinner despenser. That and being tought this by a load of people that woudnt do it themselves.

That was leading me to one last condradiciton of how much God really knows, and the whole agency and free agency thing. Basicly I worked out i'm safe because if god knows every thing and he gave me more htan I could handle he knows the consiqunces and he knew he'd do it and if he didnt and primised whe'd enver get more than we could handle then he dsoent deserve the title.

common sense. When I read alot of the teachings, using objectivity and common sense, this stuff became laughable! when my Grandfather was dying, he told me something that I never forgot. "The truth should always withstand scrutiny".

selective memory that the church has. They had nothing listed on polygamy on lds.org when I tried to research it at BYU-I. I was taking church history and wanted to know more about it and why they had it in the first place. I can still remember what they had...a talk by pres. hinckley pretty much stating why they got rid of it. They had one article only. I was so mad why they wouldn't post more if it's history and I was taking the class!

I also remember when I was called as a teacher in relief society in college and the year was about Brigham Young. They made him look like a great man and leader and how they only mentioned one wife. I don't even think it was the one he built the mansion for. I found out later..like 2 years...when I did my research how many wives he had, how he tried to cover up the Mountain Meadow Massacre. I was so mad.. how I devoted my time to teaching about that Son of B and how I went to a university that was named after him. I am appalled at the Mormon church and will forever be hurt that my family is still in the cult. It affects me every day.

My love of history and my personal integrity.

Studying history helps you to look at evidence objectively and teaches you how to handle and know the difference between primary and secondary sources. After studying the unsanitized version of Church history and realizing that it was actually based on hard facts it all fell apart pretty quickly. Especially after reading the apologist's responses.

After this, the very integrity encouraged by TSCC made sure I turned and ran, fast!

Once I had a child of my own, once I percieved the deep, unconditional love that was pre-programmed into my being as a father, I knew that "Heavenly Father" didn't act right. There were tons of other challenges, like my disdain for blindly following leaders, but it was when I realized that God was an awful father, casting out 99.999999% of his children because of the circumstances in which they were born, that I knew none of it could be true. That Father could not exist. He would not be a father.

For me, it's critical thinking and feminist leanings. I was raised with the idea that I didn't have to rely on a husband, as I could have a career and help with bringing in income. I also have a love of history, and reading the uncensored history of Mormonism helped me get out of the cult.

I spend way too much time thinking about life. I'm very much a systems thinker and don't like it when what someone tells me doesn't align with the way I see the system working.

Mormonism didn't work the way they claimed it worked, and that bothered me. It became very important on my mission as the mission governance was so different from the "Gospel of Love" message we were selling.

Openness to new information. When I heard a radio show that touched on the topics of the Mountain Meadows Massacre, blood atonement, and early polygamy, it ignited a firestorm of curiosity. The Internet opened the floodgates for me in 2003.

then when reviewing the events in my life that got me to leave it was really being skeptical of people who liked to put themselves up as authorities when I reality they didn't have a clue. My dad use to put himself up as an authority all the time on all kinds of subjects and he rarely had any clue what he was talking about.

So, yep, questioning authority is what got me out.

A secondary subject, I've heard of studies where the 3rd oldest among siblings is often an Authority Questioner. I wonder how many on this board are the 3rd oldest? I am. I know two other guys that are as well. I don't know too many who were the oldest in their family.

I don't mean to say I question all authority, but most Mormon leaders are idiots, and I never liked following idiots.

My love of history says most of it, though. I just can't tolerate revised and ignored history, and unfortunately, those around me who are still LDS believe I lack "humility" for not accepting it. Apparently, one is supposed to shrug, bow his head and say "yes" even if he knows it's wrong, and I just can't do that.