Under the hand of Hyrum:

Blessed Holy Brother,

At some point in your life, wicked men who are envious of the many virgins the Lord hath given unto you, and who are therefore thine, will prepare to publish tidings that thou art an "Adulterer" in a local paper. Your heart will fail you. You will ask, "Why, oh Lord, doth these men attack thine one annointed with lies of Satan, when thou, and only thou, didest give me mein virgins. They are MINE, oh Lord, and therefore I cannot commit adultery with them."

Dear Joseph, your righteous anger at their wickedness will swell within you, for you shalt know that many, even thousands of people, might read these lies of the adversary, who wishest to destroy thee. You shalt call unto thyself the militia which the Lord hath given thee. Thou wilt be tempted to order them to burneth down yonder printing press that doth publish news of thy virgins. But remember, Joseph,

IT'S A TRAP!

For indeed, if thou doest attacketh yon printing press in thy wrath, the devil hath set up a plan to destroyeth thee much more. For thy name shall be had for LOTS of evil in all the world, with a focus on thy bizarre need to taketh young spiritual partners, and, thus saith the Lord, many years shall pass until two wicked priests of the devil shall rise up and publish the following words unto hundreds of millions:

"JOOOOOOSEPH SMITH, do NOT Foook a Baybeh!!!"

And the music to which these words shall be spoken shall be exceedingly catchy,

And there shall be much rejoicing:

("Yaaaaaaaayyyy!!")

And thou shalt not be revered for the gifts which I have given unto thee: my servant, my seer, my revelator. Temper thy righteous rage, my hyper-sexual mini-me. Remember to resist the urge to silence the opposition in small things: if thou dost not, they shall vanquish thee in the eyes of the nations.

For thus saith my older sister, Kharma:

"I am a bitch!"

Amen.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/19/2011 05:11PM by rogertheshrubber.

Hyper-sexual mini-me. Out Fucking Standing!