Posted by:
ziller
(
)
Date: May 20, 2011 11:29AM
We all KNOW from studying the Holy Bible that NO ONE CAN KNOW or predict what ONLY GOD KNOWS.
And we KNOW that GOD also HATES false prophets.
That being said – the End-of-the-World Drill scheduled for 5/21/2011 can be a helpful exercise which WE CHOSEN ONES can use to prepare for the “actual” GLORIOUS LAST DAY.
Will YOU be ready when GOD (a/k/a JEHOVAH #1 – the Jealous and Vengeful Mad Alien Full of Eyes Round About) cometh and cometh and cometh again with the clouds, unleashes a literal Hell-On-Earth and destroys this planet?
You think last winter was bad? Wait until radioactive glaciers are coming down your street. The earth shall shake, the sky shall fall, there shall be super-tornados, hail stones the size of Buicks, meteor storms and plutonium clouds wiping out all phytoplankton in the oceans, swarms of alien fighter jets escorting hordes of horrific alien harvesting machines gathering ALL living things for FOOD, roach poop cakes costing $55.99 per pound, canned goods becoming the NEW CURRENCY, paying for water that you have to filter and boil before drinking, dogs and cats living together openly in SIN, recombinant contagious cancer viruses, and THE PLAGUE!
Anyway –
As the NEW DARK AGES approach, not only is an End-of-the-World Drill a good way to prepare for the coming APOCALYPSE, but it is a DAMN good reason to party.
(As if Ex-Mormon apostates, heretics, blasphemers, scoffers, cynics, and mockers needed a good reason to party.)
Like the party we had in 1999. Yeah, we had one HELL of a good time. Then in 2000 – hoo-boy doggie! Then 2001 – Well the world STILL didn’t end. Or in 2002. And then there was 2003 and 2004 and 2005 and 2006 and 2007 and 2008 and 2009 and 2010. Ahhhh, the memories. Ahhhh, the NSFW videos.
Yes, we are lucky to live in these Latter-Days.
Now it is 2011 and the world STILL has not come to THE END. But sooner or later, IT HAS TO and GODBLAMIT we need to be ready.
You already have your tin-foil helmet and your bunker stocked with guns, food, gold, booze, comic books, and drugs, but here are a few additional things you can do to prepare for the coming AGE OF TRIBULATIONS.
1) REPENT! Make up sins if you have too, but REPENT! REPENT for sins you intend to do later. It may seem silly to you but it is GODDAMN important to the ANCIENT HEBREW MONSTER LORD. With practice you can develop the appearance of contriteness necessary to avoid getting smited by HIS STARK FIST.
2) Practice kissing your Donnie and Marie calendar goodbye.
3) Make and accept proposals for sexual favors like your life depends on it. Also rotate your stockpile of condoms, morning-after pills, and germicidal / spermicidal foam - even if you've never needed them before, you will need them for an End-of-the-World Drill.
4) Drink heavily. If you want to get so wasted that you pass out in a puddle of drool and vomit with your pants around your ankles, THIS IS THE TIME TO DO IT.
After an End-of-the-World Drill, YOU WILL be prepared for the REAL BLESSED LAST DAY when the Alien Sex Gods and Goddesses shall at last arrive on Earth and proceed to SNATCH, yea even RESCUE UP all TRUE EXMOS into their PLEASURE SHIPS to spend Eternity (or at least until they get bored with us) engaging in a VAST ORGAZMIC RITUAL OF SEXY SEXINESS!!!
KEEP WATCHING THE SKY!
ziller