Tomorrow Jakarta is getting its first stake, and David A. "Shorty" Bednar is in town to kick it off. I was just going to do the usual weekend stuff (nothing), but maybe I should be putting on a shirt and going there to see him. Maybe I can get his ire by not wearing a tie or proper shoes. Maybe I'd have an opportunity to shake us hand and then say something rude. However, I don't even know where the church is located here, and the lds.org website is not working properly. Damn Mormon websites. I did find the mission home on Google Maps, but it's way the hell out of my way and not worth a ride there.
Whatever should I do?
//My "report," of sorts//
Well, what can I say? Acting on NormaRae's advice, I went for it and tried and tried to find the place, but just could not. And the time has now come and gone. I would have welcomed the opportunity to at least see Bednar in action, if nothing else. All reports are that he is an ass. My plan was to find the place on the lds.org and get a taxi to it by 9am and hang out through the main session of stake conference. Sadly, the LDS church website would not function for me (did they have my number somehow?) and without the cooperation of the website and enough knowledge of locals here like the hotel staff, what could I do? I missed my chance. It's now almost noon, the mosques are calling to prayer, and I'm going to take a bottle of Corona up to the pool and lay about a bit while reading my Bill Bryson book. I'll think of you guys. Thanks for the support.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/22/2011 01:00AM by cludgie.
"The second stake in a Muslim country!!" Well, "Muslim" is just a word. Here it's "Islam-lite," like Italian Catholics. It's almost not fair to call them Muslims. Here you see beautiful "covered" women wearing lycra tights. But few women are covered.
Anyway, point is, now the ratio of Mormons to non-Mormons in Indonesia is a whopping 1 in 37,584. The Fightin' Mormons!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/22/2011 01:04AM by cludgie.
C'mon, wear jeans and whatever color tennis shoes you've chosen for Indonesia. Introduce yourself as an Embassy worker. In fact, tell him that you are there as a reporter for Recovery From Mormonism, to find out what a stake in Jakarta is really all about. You can't let us down on this one! Oh, and ask him how this year's pickle crop is doing.
No, you would certainly have to look the part and fit in to get close. Otherwise his bouncers will bounce you out on your head. Oh yeah, and bring a notebook to take notes. He is all about people jotting down his powerful revelations. Be sure to tell him that you are offended. He gets really pissed off and goes on a rant when people become "offended." He will then proceed to tell you it's your fault and you need to get over it.
...I'm assuming Indonesia has about 20% activity, a dire shortage of priesthood, and is subsidized by U.S. tithing revenue.
Am I close?
I've never experienced international mormonism except meeting mormon immigrants and hearing missionary anecdotes. But my take is that there's allot of propaganda about the miraculous growth, and that most of the growth is very flimsy.
And...attrition is slowly catching up to the church on its home turf. Growth is about stalled in the US, with inactivity and attrition eating up almost all of the growth. That's what pays for church operations everywhere else.
This is an unparalleled opportunity for a gienormous Return and Report! And on a fount of piety such as Bednar even as he institutes even another swath in the great stone rolling forth. I'm already anticipating the laughs! ;)
Oh, sorry you missed it. I know it would have been the highlight of your tour of duty. I just wondered what kind of numbers they really had and what the composition of the congregation was like. Now we'll never know and we'll have to take LDS, Inc.'s word for it. But really, the pool sounds like a much better idea for a Sunday afternoon. Enjoy.