Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: sunbeep ( )
Date: June 10, 2017 10:32AM

I have several grown children who are all on their own now. Some are doing great, some not so much. Surprisingly, the ones that are still active are the ones who are struggling financially. I'm in a position to help them somewhat. But what I've found is that if I give them a sum of money, they immediately pay tithing on it and then give thanks to gawd all mighty for blessing them for their faithfulness. "We've been praying for money to make the house payment."

This irks me to no end. Gawd didn't bless them, their old man simply helped them out a little bit. I'm at a loss here, any suggestions?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: June 10, 2017 10:40AM

Give them 10% more to cover their "stupid tax" and make sure to tell them about it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: June 10, 2017 11:02AM

My Aunt used to give us $11.11 on our birthdays. $10.00 for us, $1.00 to cover tithing on the $10.00, a dime to cover tithing on the dollar and a penny to cover tithing on the dime.

For my kids and grandkids I bring canned goods from my "food storage" ie grocery store or I pay their utility bill, doctor, dentist or car insurance direct.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nomonomo ( )
Date: June 10, 2017 11:12AM

Pay stuff for them. That way your money won't go to tithing. Of course, that can't stop them from tithing out of other monies, but there's only so much you can do if you want to help them financially.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: summer ( )
Date: June 10, 2017 11:17AM

Make the payment directly to the lender, the utility company, etc. Your children may still pay tithing anyway, but at least it's not your money going directly to the church. You might also give them gift cards to grocery stores, etc.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: June 10, 2017 07:27PM

This is exactly what I was thinking. Gift cards can work for food and clothing expenses.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: azsteve ( )
Date: June 10, 2017 02:12PM

Tell them that you'll help on the condition that your help never has tithing paid on it. Tell them you'll trust their word and remind them that temple worthyness requires honesty in their dealings with others. Tell them that if they don't want your help that you'll understand.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: June 10, 2017 04:34PM

I still can't figure out the happy pic's of TBM's with their large happy shiny families standing outside their beautiful house in the mountains, etc. and who seem to have plenty of money later in life to help their large happy shiny families.

On then other hand, the struggling TBM's don't post pictures because they are struggling.........

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: yetagain... ( )
Date: June 10, 2017 08:22PM

why help them when they continue to make stupid decisions?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: ozcrone ( )
Date: June 12, 2017 07:44PM

I give money to the missionaries to buy meals and say the money is still mine wherever it ends up so no tithing.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: lolly18 ( )
Date: June 18, 2017 03:07PM

Pay their mortgage or rent directly.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: June 18, 2017 04:49PM

Or give them bags of groceries or other items they need.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: evergreen ( )
Date: June 18, 2017 05:09PM

Tell them you are lending them money with an undefined repayment plan. That way you are not giving them money they have to tithe on.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Yes! ( )
Date: June 18, 2017 08:55PM

Yes. It's a "loan." Tell them why it's a "loan," so that no one has to lie to anyone. Tell them that you expect them to repay it in full, under the same terms, to their children, and you'll haunt them if they don't.

Under no circumstances is it ever to be considered an "increase," because it's due the same as if it's due the bank.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: subeamnotlogedin ( )
Date: June 18, 2017 11:35PM

After reading through all the previous posts one more vote for paying their mortgage directly no chance for them to pay tithing on it that way and it will be a huge help for them.

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In

Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **    **        **  ********   **     **  **     ** 
  **  **         **  **     **   **   **   **     ** 
   ****          **  **     **    ** **    **     ** 
    **           **  ********      ***     ********* 
    **     **    **  **     **    ** **    **     ** 
    **     **    **  **     **   **   **   **     ** 
    **      ******   ********   **     **  **     **