I've posted before that I'm an attorney who would like to find something else to do with my life. I'm also currently between jobs. The college where I got my BA is hiring an academic advisor for new students and I am very excited by this prospect. I've written a somewhat unorthodox cover letter. Would you guys mind looking it over and telling me what you think. I'd really appreciate it! Here it is:

I am writing to express my interest in COLLEGE’s available academic advisor position. Even though I am an attorney by training and education, I am interested in a career change. I am drawn to this position by my desire to work with college students and by my respect for COLLEGE’s mission.

The seed of my desire to assist students was planted when I was a student at COLLEGE. As a sophomore, I worked as a peer counselor in DORM. The peer counselors were to work with undecided students to help them determine a major. The backbone of my advising philosophy is formed by what I learned as a peer counselor. I can sum up my philosophy in one word: explore.

I would counsel students, even those who have declared a major, to use their time taking general education courses to explore their interests. By doing so, they will find themselves declaring, and perhaps changing, their majors. I would even advise them to try a class in a subject matter they may have disliked in high school. The change in atmosphere and a different teaching method may reveal to them that they actually like the subject.

In advising students, I would echo the words of advice given to me by my first advisor at COLLEGE: you don’t have to have you life planned out right now. I would add that any such planning be done in pencil, not pen. I am also willing to discuss with students the pros and cons of their chosen majors. I believe that students should be aware of any obstacles their majors may cause them once they graduate. My intention is not to be discouraging, but to be realistic.

Sometimes we go through hardships so that we can teach others how to avoid the pitfalls that we faced. For this reason, I look forward to teaching students study skills and about academic success. I never developed study skills in high school because I never had to study. Good grades came easily to me. My lack of study skills was a hindrance when I came to COLLEGE, but I still did well. Although I am sure that I would have graduated with honors instead of just missing it had I actually known how to study. However, once I went to law school, my lack of study skills became a handicap. I graduated and passed the bar, but the process would have been much less difficult had I known how to study. I am grateful for the law school professor who finally pulled me aside and explained to me how to best study for law school exams. If I could help any student avoid the hardships I faced, then my struggles will not have been in vain.

Thank you for considering me for the position of academic advisor. My experience would make me an asset to COLLEGE and its students. Enclosed please find my resume, a list of references, a completed application, and my transcripts are still on file. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Well, I'm a physician not an English major, but I liked your cover letter. I think the idea of an attorney advising undergrads is refreshing and wonderful!

Just a few small things:

1. You've got a small typo in the line "you don't have to have you life" needs to say "your life".

2. In your second paragraph, you might want to include ..."the backbone of my advising philosophy was (not is) formed by what I learned as a peer counselor and has been fleshed out significantly during my XXXX years as a practicing attorney. Based on these experiences, I can sum......"

3. I'd rework the third paragraph as it seems awkward. Maybe try not to use "declare" more than once.

Hopefully more folks will chime in to help too as I think you'll love your time back in academia. Best of luck!

AlmostFell

Wait a day-or-two before you send you letter in. There's something not quite right with it so I think you can improve on what you've written. The second draft will probably come to you after a night's sleep or two.

In the meantime, I suggest the following change:

From

"I would counsel students, even those who have declared a major, to use their time taking general education courses to explore their interests. By doing so, they will find themselves declaring, and perhaps changing, their majors. I would even advise..."

To

"I often counseled students to take general education courses to explore their interests. By doing so, they found themselves declaring, or perhaps changing, their majors. I sometimes advised..."

You could also metion that a personality exercise such as Briggs Myers can be very helpful, if the result produces a clear identification of the personality type of the student.

http://www.myersbriggsreports.com/?gclid=CNao08jjgakCFU5qKgodkU6jUg

Or perhaps the Uni has a similar tool to help students.

Good luck.

Please try another draft.

Kindest regards

grey

I'm a law student.

You might consider leaving out the part about being an attorney. To be honest, a JD is often, if not always, considered a negative when transitioning to another career. There's some kind of underlying suspicion that although you SAY you want to change careers, what you REALLY want to do is to take this job in the interim, and return to the practice of law when the economy finally picks up (like that's going to happen). There are actually ads running in New York that specify "no JDs," so desperate are some lawyers to find alternate work in this sagging legal market.

I would not leave the JD off my resume entirely (I think that's deceptive - google "leaving JD off resume" for other perspectives, and there are plenty), but I wouldn't emphasize it in the way you've chosen to do. However, to each his or her own...and most importantly, best of luck!

Lose the use of all capsfor important words. It looks sophomoric.

I don't think you read the post. The capitalized words indicate where the letter writer has redacted the name of the college to which he is applying. He is not using capitalization for emphasis. The poster is an attorney, not a fifteen year old.