My 18 year old daughter just told us last night that she has contracted herpes. She told her sister first and has been dealing with it by herself for about a week now. Her sister told me that it was her very first time having sex and now this!! I'm so totally sad and angry. Is there anyone here who can tell me more about this condition and what life is going to be like for her. She is pretty desperately sad right now as well. She just feels like it is so unfair. Other people have had sex with multiple partners and not gotten anything and the first time she has sex she gets herpes. She says the boy is very upset and didn't know he had it.

My condolences to your daughter.

Your daughter needs to go to the doctor to confirm the diagnosis and discuss her options. There are good medications like Valtrex that can keep it under (relative) control, but she will need to know the updated medical information on how to live with the disease.

She will need to be honest with her future partners.

I would also ask her to encourage the boy to do the same.

Some people have outbreaks frequently, others have one outbreak and never hear from the d*mn little viruses again.
Nearly 100% of humans have one form of herpes or another; obviously the genital types have the most pain, social and real.

Members of my family had herpes of another kind (type I) although, I understand they are closely related. Their's was the kind that breaks out around the nose and mouth. They were able to control outbreaks with Acidophilus. They knew people who sufferred terribly with type I herpes who found great relief with this home remedy.

The best advice for your daughter is for her to learn as much about the disease as she can. Certainly, a doctor's imput is important and she should have her doctor's advice for diagnosis and possible treatments.

It is very sad that her first experience was with someone who passed on an STD to her, but I believe that this one is manageable. With a few precautions, she should be able to have a normal life. I understand that my DIL contracted the disease. She has had 3 kids and they (apparently) have a normal sex life (as normal as TBM's are allowed to have).

I wish you and your daughter well. I'm sorry this has happened to her. It is a sad thing to have to deal with.

I have two good friends, married, for the second time and one of them contracted genital herpes from her ex husband who was a sexual deviant and forced her to do some inhuman things.

They have been married for 10 years now and they are doing great. She has outbreaks and when she does they do not kiss nor do they engage in oral enjoyment, but her husband has not contracted it in any way and they have a very active sex life.

It is a life long condition and at 18 I am so sorry for you and her, but it can be controlled and she can enjoy a healthy relationship with certain precautions.

My youngest son will turn 20 this summer and since leaving the morg I have had several talks with him. I have encouraged him to experiment and learn about sex because in my opinion it is a natural thing that should not be made evil or forbidden. The one thing I have always told him though is that STDs can be life changing conditions and some, like herpes, have no known cures so if he is not careful he could pay for his carelessness for the rest of his life.

As a side note I told him that if he gets a girl pregnant I will kick his ass for the next 18 years to be sure he takes care of that little person he brings into this world.

Herpes I and II is extremely common, most people only have an initial outbreak of a few blisters and that's it.

Herpes can return during times of stress because it stays in the body - however, so do a great many things since the human body is not sterile.

But it is for this reason that the Religious Right has latched on to Herpes as the boogey man in recent years, in order to scare young people off having sex.

Millions of Americans have herpes, many of whom don't even realize it.
I would be more concerned about patients who are hiv-positive and also have herpes, since their immune system is already compromised.

As to your daughter, she should take her Valtrex and live with herpes, as do gazillions around the world.

BTW, those occasional blisters (cold sores) around the mouth can also be genital herpes, since it is transmitted via the oral/genital route through kissing.

I read a while ago that herpes can be transmitted even while using a condom. Is that true?

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter.

Herpes AND genital warts are a risk because the condom doesn't cover the whole body so transmission is possible. If the condom isn't used properly or it breaks, other STI's can be transmitted as well. A condom is the best thing to protect against STI's, (short of lifelong abstinence) however, there is truly no such such as safe sex, only safer sex.

My wife has herpes of the oral variety. Whenever she gets sores around the mouth (which happens a few times a year, and can sometimes last for a few weeks) the kissing stops. But there are other ways to show affection, and after 4 years of marriage I haven't gotten it yet.