Occasionally we have a temple garment thread (no puns here), and here it is. This is specifically speaking of the one-piece garment.

If anyone here remembers them (apparently NormaRae does), the same design was sold in JC Penny's catalogue as a "union suit." No one knows why. Anyway, the top portion was fitted like a T-shirt, except for the gigantic elastic neck that you used to climb into the thing. (Just for fun I tried climing in through the butt flap, but roommates almost had to call the fire brigade to extract me.) It went down to the kneecap, but a lot of Mormons tried to be "better members" by buying them extra big so that they sagged down to mid-calf. Good times.

The men had a "support cup" to properly hold the junk, and a butt fly that went from high in the small of the back down to the support cup. This allowed you to do your motions in the toilet without stripping down. Then there was a giant elastic panel above the butt flap to allow the garment some give. For modesty's sake, there was a one-inch button that closed the enormous butt fly, and you were always sitting on it, and squirming to get it out of the way of your sensitive cheeks; it would not only hurt, but make a large, button-shaped red imprint on your sensitive butt that might stay with you all day.

Probably the worst thing was when the garments would get soaked with sweat, which was pretty much all the time during the summer months. The cotton breathed, but would get heavy with moisture and begin to sag badly. A lot of people went with nylon, which was light, but didn't stretch or give a bit. When wearing nylon, you were also a walking fire hazard. Other weird things happened with nylon garments. Once one of our missionaries was hit by a car while riding his bike. He slid along the cobblestones, and the nylon garment melted into the fabric of his suit. We called the nylon garments "Commanche garments," meaning they would "sneak up and wipe you out at the pass." (We didn't care that this was an affront to our Native American and Aboriginal Canadian peoples, because we were taught that they were "dark and loathsome" anyway.)

The nylon garments would bite into your neck and shoulder if you moved one way, and would thrust up into your crotch and rear if you bent another way. The heavy cotton ones would give more, but at the end of the day would be half again as long as they were when you started out in the morning.

One of my least favorite things were the "marks" on the chest. In today's garments, the mark is just kind of stitched into the fabric like a button hole that is not slit open. Back in the day, however, they were cut just like a button hole, so that the V of the "compass mark" and the right angle of the "square mark" were actually opened slits connected at their convergence. Of course, they would tear open all the time if not for the fact that garment marks all had a 1 1/2-inch square cotton patch sewn on behind each mark as a reinforcement. These not only had the distinct result of allowing you to be seen from across the street as a garment wearer, but also chafed the nipples in a real bad way. After several washings, the square patch turned into a little ball that produced the image of having an extra two nipples under your shirt.

In time, both the mark and the patch would deteriorate, and the threads on the mark would unravel and the mark would come undone. There were two schools of thought: One was to repair it by taking a stitch or two and lengthening the use of the garment. The other was that repairing the garment was "bad" or "just wrong," and then going out to buy a new pair. Problem was, they all cost $4-5 a set even back then--garment wearing was an expensive pasttime.

There were only a couple of benefits to wearing one piece garments. Unfortunately, I don't know what they were. But I do know that if you were particularly lazy during your Saturday morning roll, you didn't even have to take them off to do that thing that Mormons call "that great procreative power." (You know--sweaty snugglebunnies.) You could just snuggle and perform the act whether or not you took them off--didn't want to, didn't need to. This made some Mormons of the more National Socialist persuasion believe that it was indeed wrong remove the garment in order to have sex. (There. I said it.) I went round and round with a guy in elders' quorum once about that.

1979 marked the advent, as best I can remember, of the two-piece garment, and I felt so free, almost evil. That was, to be sure, my downfall. Over time I began fantasizing about having colored boxer briefs and nice un-yellowed T-shirts, ones that didn't chafe my nipples, ones I could buy just anywhere, even Costco. Then, yada-yada-yada, I'm drinking coffee and sending in my resignation papers.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2011 08:44PM by cludgie.

This is priceless and hysterical! Please keep posting every time the subject ever comes up to remind up two piecers we have it good.

The problem I had with the one-piecers is that I felt like my nut sack was being pulled on all the time. Kind of like a wedgie only from the front.

Maybe I was too tall for the one-piece or my trunk was too long, I don't know, but with time mine would eventually tear in the back. Then once they had been torn in the back, it seemed like the constant pulling on my nut sack would go away.

Such good memories.

This is one of the things that puts the 'moron' in 'MORmON'!

Thank goodness I never had to wear them.

One piece garments are great for anal flossing. Bending over is highly recommended for deep flossing.

Oh wait, you didn't mention how awful they were for women during certain times of the month or after childbirth. I thought we had it worse than guys, but I never thought about the button in the butt thing. Guys deserved that one since they didn't have to deal with the other thing.

Oh, it was so awful summers in Okinawa. Either the cotton ones that, as you said, were two sizes larger by the end of the day or the nylon ones that just stuck to you. We were probably in the same meeting when they made the big announcement about the two piecers. When we split off and went to RS meeting we had a big lecture about how we were supposed to wear them right (like what? We were only going to wear half of them?)

But I have a confession to make. Even though it was months later, after I went back to the states, before I got any, I kept some one-piecers for several years because for some reason I liked wearing them at night. And I won't go any further down that road.

Now I look back at those days and how I HATED that butt-ugly underwear and I just shake my head. I can't even believe I was so brainwashed that I honestly believed God gave a shit about my undies. What part of C-U-L-T do people not understand? If you can control people right down to their underwear, you are in a CULT.

I remember when I started doing my own laundry as a kid and I moved the whites from the washer to the dryer. One time I first noticed the marks and could not figure out what they hell was going on. Whey did they not fix them right after they were ripped? And how did they get ripped at the chest? That may have been the first "problem" I put on my shelf :-).

I got married in 1979, just weeks before the two-piecers came out. So of course I had a very large supply of onesies being all newly endowed and everything, and went on to wear those for several months. Being convert Molly, I was preggers within a month of marriage and had to get maternity garmies. They only made them in onesies at that time, so that's what I got. Very lovely with a big ole' extra large bit of fabric in the front for you to grow into.

Then, the baby arrived and lo and behold I had to get nursing garmies. Those things were...well, there are no words. They zippered...ZIPPERED...down the front. Every time I nursed I was supposed to what? Unhook my bra and pull it up so I could pull down the zipper? The nursing bra flaps certainly gave me no access to this zipper, because NORMAL people didn't wear something UNDER their damn bra!!!.

It was so ridiculous, I finally just pulled down the zipper, pulled the garment back, tucked it under each boob, and left the ladies unprotected, but accessible to hungry baby. Finally, by baby #2, there were nursing garmies with flaps so you could get the baby latched on without practically undressing.

I don't miss the eighties.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2011 12:11AM by DebbiePA.

We were told that would never happen, God the Fashion Designer wanted them one piece. Bow your heads and say yes.

I got endowed in 1996. However, I was in a wedding and while the dress itself was modest, the fabric in the bodice was clingy - to the point where the waistband of the bottoms clearly showed in a line around my middle.

I had to buy a one-piece so I didn't look like an idiot. They only came in dri-silque and just had a big slit from the middle of your butt all the way around to about the middle of my hoo-haa. It never stayed closed and I ended up with a double front wedge. (Nice, ladies? Right?)

It was a really great wedding except for all the cringing when I moved and the wedge got just a little higher. :-/

Unfortunately the waistband also showed through some of the dresses I wore to work, or you could see the bunching up of the top tucked in to the bottoms. I was in the one piece more than I care to mention. But at least I had other options most times!

That sounds really awful!

Correct me if I am wrong but I think mine were "Halinka Neck"
version- you could drive a jaradite barge through the neck - it was so big!


Weren't the one piecers designed to eliminate access to the
vortex of the universe while dating?

I was asked once in a gym where I got those and I replied the "big mac section " at Penneys.

Where DO they come up with these names? The "Sportsman Garment" had a Helenca neck. It was a onesie made especially for playing softball and golf and such, and had a few additional stitches coming vertically up the belly for more "cup support." My foster father would put one of those on before suiting up for a fast-pitch game. What with the enormous "Jaredite barge" neck running from shoulder to shoulder and the vertical stitching up the belly, I mean... There are no words.

I think I've hurt myself from laughing.

i was on a mission starting in 1979 and sometime during my mission the newbie sisters came along with their new-fangled two-piece undies and i thought 'they're just not right, i know god wants us to wear one-piece g's'. i don't know why it seemed wrong, not enough suffering involved in the two-piece things or something like that.

does this sound like the work of a cult or what?

For the ladies there was a choice of two main styles - snug leg or flare leg. The snug leg had the slit for bodily functions but the flare leg didn't. Everything had to be "done" through the leg hole.
I remember having the maternity & nursing ones as DebbiePA describes but gave up & wore my bra under the nursing ones.

DW bought a couple of pair and said, "Well, I won't be buying these anymore. I just can't figure them out!"

I guess you had to pull the rather wide leg around your rear et al. and then do you stuff somehow without getting any on your underwear. And then she couldn't get her pantyhose over them without getting them all wadded up.

As for Mormon Observer's comment below: I tried out one pair of men's garments with the zipper, and found them hellishly uncomfortable. The "mark" reinforcement patches chafed enough (they were made of something tough, almost like canvas), and I felt the zipper all day long. Besides, I'd often zip up my chest hairs in them.

I remember someone telling me to buy the nylon ones.(In 1976) So I bought 5 pair of onsies before I ever wore any. Horrible! Thank goodness I was in a state about forty miles from the Canadian border so I could wear them somewhat comfortably. But they were hot and slimy. Liked to creep up the backside.
And they never did make the cup size for the well endowed sisters!
But they sure felt all sisters were seven axehandles around the middle no matter what size I bought,,,,,, the middle was always too ample in the lower waist.
I could have shared the cab of a mac truck in the bottom of the garment where my little butt went!


Then when they had the back split. If you weren't pulling the extra cloth out of your cheek crack you were walking with a wedge of fabric.
So pull it apart so it can't go in your back side and the 'shadow of your smile' shows through thin cloth behind you!!!


And the women's garments were never designed by women who were shaped like real women!

As to the mens...... I recycled the zippers out of my husbands old garments. They were sturdy and I used them as zippers for the little dresses of my toddler girls.....

I am SO glad I got my endowments after the two piecers came out.

I'm also glad to have gotten pregnant in the 1990s for the improved maternity tops. Much better for nursing.

I only owned one pair of one piecers. At the time I got married, they required that you have one piecers for the W&A. I very seldom ever wore them.

I do remember one of my co-workers wearing white pants with one-piecers, though, and Mormon Observer is right.

Maybe I'm just weird, but I thought those markings on the nipples were obscene when I was a child. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they were there.

cl2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Maybe I'm just weird, but I thought those markings
> on the nipples were obscene when I was a child.

> I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they
> were there.


Because the Lard said there had to be nipple marks! Mr. I Am an Underwear Designer Jebuz.

yep, nothing spells CULT like funny underwear.

Maybe you were so supposed to be so distracted by the uncomfortable undies that you didn't have time to contemplate the weird theology?

Oh My Gawd, I was endowed in 1978 and was lucky enough to get the one piecers. I actually wore a pair of granny panties over the top to keep the butt flap under control. How on earth did I ever conceive any children dressed like that? Seriously??

I bought some one piece on purpose. I liked that they couldn't come uIntucked. The two piecers were always coming untucked and that bugged me. The constant butt wedgie was a necessary tradeoff. BTW, i always felt a bit more righteous than others when I had the one piecers on.

I just assumed Smith liked G's because it would cause husbands to reject there wife and he could pick them up on the rebound.

"Oh Fanny, you don't have to wear them all the time that's just for the Sheeple."

Sado Mas?

Now here is something interesting... I used to like to wear my husband's cotton one-piecers to bed at night. They were huge on me and so big and cozy. Like giant jammies.

Since they still had the same markings I guessed that was okay... but now I wonder if there is any unwritten rule about a sister wearing the brethren's garmies? I never thought about this before...

As a nevermo, I feel awful that you guys used to have to wear those horrible things, and I can't imagine the indoctrination required for people to put up with that kind of shit.

I still have a pair of the nylon jobbers in the original packaging. Great conversation piece when shooting the shit with nevermo's.

But-true-everything-Cludgie-said-ly yrs,

S

They were available in other-than-pure=-white I know for a fact because I know that Army Garmies were olive drab. Don't ask me how I know!

They might still have those flappy little colars and the strings that tie down the chest. I would be surprised if they didn't.

My father and the plyg men we knew said that nylon was for sissy guys and women only.