Date: September 11, 2017 07:17PM
eating at lunch or snacks apart? or commenting on shared sack lunches if it was good or what they liked most?
does you spouse text you making small talk through out every day when youre separated physically?
does your spouse initiate texts to you
is your spouse rarely replying or replying with very few words whe you text them?
what does the whole picture look like!
further I have never had my spouses work best friend or work wife sharing spaces supplies schedules etc ever infringe on my own time with my spouse, that includes texting him during his time with me, or him texting a work buddy male or female while at a meal or living room or on bed with me. once there was a death of another colleague and my husband got texts from an old female special colleague to him which is just so rate, but his male friend had passed away.
realize in my opinion, we are different people in relation to who we are relating with; my spouse doesnt talk or move the same way in relationship to me as he may to another.
if it appeared to me that another person, actually male or female, was receiving the same treatment or attention or affection or time or resources which had prior been reserved only for me, Id be upset. thats saying alot for a former team sport coachs wife/ oh wow all that time away.
ask yourself what are you receiving in attention, in texts, in communication.are,you at least being treated as attentively paid attention to in positive ways routinely through each day apart and together as well,
as attention flows through texts,out to this outsider.
what are you agreements? see a --- buddy woildmt even have a relationship like this, they just get physical contact at sgreed upon times not meals, not sharing not daily texting, not sitting down and talking about life or like intimacy. intimacy is reserved for relationships, physical -- thats just a person to be with.
so I think as a spouse itsmreasonable to want to be treated like the person in relationship with intimacy in words spoken and texted, not just a person to sleep with leave early come home late etc.
as the years my spouse spent coaching and matches late night mid week and weekends, and matches and tournaments around holidays limiting family traveling-- I would say sensitivity to maintaining those polite small talk and manners my way that would be the wifes way, and not lobbing them out randomly or sporadically when daily politely small tslking with an outsider unless its the fund raiser during a team promotion. even then, the only super political glad hander media figure I know couldnt pull it off no longer has a wife. but theyre very polular, its like theyve come into their own, using texts and posts sort of redefining themselves socially separate from the man who has that wife and child he used to promote in texts and photos posted before....
so in that light I think about ratios and how much you receive texts, positive small talk, humor fun and good times that ots not all used up elsewhere and husbands is home or tired or out of good humor / yet is using good manners humor fun in texts elsewhere youre not in the loop. thats not cool.