Being raised in a strict Mormon family I was taught that sex was for marriage and marriage only. Anything outside those "bounds" their Lord had set was strictly prohibited.

Needless to say, I had to discover that sex meant sexual pleasures first on my own in books and in the JC Penny catalog (viewing what I considered pleasurable) then with my own body and then with a few (very few) others.

No one told me what sex was other than that is was a "sacred power" to be used to create more of my kind on this planet. Other than that, I had a meeting with my brothers and parents after my older brother had confessed to the bishop about his infrequent but in his words "uncontrollable" masturbation habit. The gist of this meeting was my father telling us that sex in marriage was much better than masturbation and my mother chiming in that masturbation was a sin and don't do it but if you do don't tell the bishop about it.

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy." H. L. Menken

So, why the fixation on sex for Mormonism as something to regulate, legislate, mandate and upon which to morally fixate as if it were a "sin next to murder?"

In any plan of a supposed God, the having an orgasm socially or otherwise seems strange to me and always has.

It (sex) has always topped the hit list for religionists. I've never read something or heard a very compelling reason why.

Mormonism takes this predilection for proscription for sex in religious life to the extreme of making it the third worst sin you can commit (behind Holy Ghost denying and murder) and also placing it upon a pedestal of being a "power" to create as if humans were god-let wizards and witches taking their wands out and running amuck with magic.

I wonder if Mormons as well as others are just pissed that other people are having great sex?

Mormonism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be having a great sex life.

"So, why the fixation on sex for Mormonism as something to regulate, legislate, mandate and upon which to morally fixate as if it were a "sin next to murder?"

If a religion can convince people that things they do naturally are somehow "unnatural", what CAN'T they convince them of?

Religion needs to convince people they are bad, that they're broken and need fixing. Few people do seriously bad things, but everyone has some sort of sexual urge. Eureka! Something to make everyone feel guilty about!

"But I'm a virgin."

"Maybe so, but you have thoughts about sex, don't you? You dirty thing!"

"Oh my God! How did you know? I'm so ashamed."

"You should be. But you can be forgiven by submitting to our will."

What's the big deal.. I get sex almost every day








almost on monday
almost on tuesday
almost on wed
almost on thurs

well-you get the idea...

the pleasure is fleeting, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.

Not-that-there-is-anything-wrong-with-that-ly yrs,

S

Is sex happiness? It helps at minimum if done correctly.

Is sex as drug? If it is, I'm an addict.

Is sex absurd? Absolutely not.

Sex is like glue. Sorely missed in places where you really need it and likely to mess things up where it shouldn't be.

To be most effective, gluing requires careful preparation and the right environment. Being hasty can result in a big mess that will take much longer to clean up than if you had taken time to do it right in the first place.

Anagrammy

but...What about the emotional side of Making Whoopie?

Perhaps nothing else in history has led to more suffering: think aggression, rape, incest, molestation, abuse, jealousy, murder, obsession, anguish, fear, wars (like the Trojan War), disease, disfiguration and death (even before AIDS, the scourge of syphilis), human trafficking and enslavement, child prostitution, dangerous secrecy, infidelity, blackmail, heartbreak, divorce, too-early marriage, and probably a few other things as well.

Obviously even if sex itself isn't bad, humans have not learned how to deal with it sensibly.

But what of its supposedly positive aspects? Does it *really* make you closer to another person--does getting close to a person's body (particularly the focus on specific body parts) = getting close to the actual person? For one's own dopamine-pleasure, another person is dehumanized and made a sex-object. Look at all the time, effort, and commercial business interests involved in making body parts more attractive baits? What happens when another body ceases to attract you? Where are both persons' minds during familiar sex in long-term relationships? This is the case in fantasies, too, which concoct self-serving scenarios and imaginatively violate the "live-and-let-live" individuality of the other person.

(Incidentally, it's interesting that anthropologists now propose that the basis of sexual attractiveness is directly related to finding the best mate for "reproduction"--the sole reason for sex in most traditional conservative religions.)

Is sex truly pleasurable in itself? Only if we think that pleasure without relating can exist. Conventional sex--without true relating or joining of consciousness--is essentially just masturbation. And it was not religion that came up with the ancient observation that "post coitum onme animal triste est." In body identification one cannot have pleasure without the opposite pole of pain.

But what about the natural sex drive? Is it anything beyond the simple drive to reproduce the species and temporarily bond with another in order to provide a nurturing home for children? Most esoteric forms of spirituality, along with psychologist Jung and others, assert that sex is the eclipsing bodily expression of a more primal creative and potentially uniting and elevating 'god-like' energy. Hence universal traditions of sublimating or channeling (Jung: "canalization") the libido and entering states of awareness beyond the physical as well as developing transformative mental and even physical powers. This was also the symbolism of ancient alchemy. It is not that we-as-physical-beings must learn how to sublimate our natural sexual drives, so much as we-as-spiritual-beings must learn not to block our transcendent drives by converting them into bodily attractions.

Whether one resonates with this spiritual vision or not, it should be clear that when it comes to understanding sex we as a species are still in our infancy (or at most early teens).

First of all you have the religious obsession and guilt trip thing. Then you have your parents on board with the church program. Then you have the legitimate fear of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.

I remember I was alone in my room with the girl next door and one thing let to another. We decided we were going to have sex. I was Mormon and she was Jewish. I wondered if she had the same feelings of guilt but she opened up her vagina so I could go in and it was the first time I saw one and I had mixed feelings of being excited I was going to do it, guilt because it was a huge sin, and man that thing is a scary looking mess. Without hormones and horniness, I probably would have ran from it.

Sex is just complicated. How much crap have we all been dragged through because of it. Without that urge to merge and all the emotional trauma it causes, life would just be some much simpler.

Sometimes I think the sex drive was a big joke God played on us.

Rubicon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I saw one and I had mixed feelings of being
> excited I was going to do it, guilt because it was
> a huge sin, and man that thing is a scary looking
> mess.

I agree. To be attracted to something more than I've ever been attracted to anything and yet be repulsed by the physical appearance of it is one of the strangest things I've experienced in my life.

Is that repulsion/attraction caused by being taught from a very early age that sex outside of marriage is evil? It sounds like a classic Pavlovian reaction, and probably very different from what you would feel if you hadn't been raised that way - but that's just my amateur psychology, am I wrong?

sexismyreligion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is that repulsion/attraction caused by being
> taught from a very early age that sex outside of
> marriage is evil? It sounds like a classic
> Pavlovian reaction, and probably very different
> from what you would feel if you hadn't been raised
> that way - but that's just my amateur psychology,
> am I wrong?

It might be. In cultures where nudity and sex prohibitions reign I can imagine the first site of male and female genitalia up close could cause revulsion to one of the opposite sex.

if there was no sex in the world the mormons and their ilk would find something else to leverage to gain control of the unthinking masses.
they already use things like fear of losing family members, using pride to motivate people (i'm this much righteous!), etc.

...of which I commanded thee not to partake?

My second wife and I had sex three times a day for nine years. We divorced, I think she just plain wore out.

Is sex a sin? I think not unless you are willfully cheating on your spouse or hurting someone in the process. I feel that once you make a commitment to your spouse you are commited to them and no one else. It doesn't matter if it's a man/man, woman/woman or a man/woman relationship. If you are commited then you are commited.
When I was ten years old I had sex with a girl that was twelve. When I got home my mother asked where I had been. I didn't answer and she said "You've been screwing Judy ?."
She didn't punish or condeem. She just said"Son, please don't lie to me."
We lived with my mom ten months after that and then we lost her. She was the greatest. She believed in God but she didn't push it down our throats.
In my opinion sex can help to bring happiness, it is not a drug and it is not absurb. May the enjoyment of sex be a blessing to you all.

This Stake President may answer everyone's questions. He is a very wise church leader, educated in all facets of life.

http://stakepresident.blogspot.com/2011/05/oral-abstinence-key-to-happy-fulfilling.html

Indeed.

D. Lamb Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This Stake President may answer everyone's
> questions. He is a very wise church leader,
> educated in all facets of life.
>
> http://stakepresident.blogspot.com/2011/05/oral-ab
> stinence-key-to-happy-fulfilling.html

I had to read through this a couple of times. I can't even imagine that this "blog" isn't a farce. But if it isn't it still is no one'sbusiness what my wife or I have done, or do when we are rompong around. (I hate the term "intimate". It's sex for crap's sake...)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2011 11:38PM by tensolator.

Can you be a exotic dancer and be a practicing mormon?

Exotic dancers can be practicing mormons. Just don't give your bishop a table dance. He'll discover who you are.

stay in for 3 + mins to hear about JHS
this sick twisted MORmON ASSpostHOLE shows just how vile and hurtful MORmONISM can be on sexual matters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYsi-r1amY0

at least Joe had his ass kicked really good a few times before he was given his best revelation ever on 27 june 1844.
this JHS should have been castrated for spreading the toxic garbage he came up with. we are probably STILL suffering culturally in some way to some extent from this batch of INSANE MORmON guilt based toxicity that he conjured up and dared to so heartily endorse in the name of god. GD MORmON POS!

and make them available to Real scholars!

Post them online.

But Wait, most of this was a bit mild; tscc manipulating others to do their bidding? Nothing unusual there!

IF they had gov't employees 'on their (secret) payroll'... the employee certainy wouldn't divulge that, would they?

I'm for exposing ALL tscc's information 'Secrets'!
For people who claim to have Inside Info: SAME THING!!

Elder Berry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Being raised in a strict Mormon family I was
> taught that sex was for marriage and marriage
> only.

.....and that sexual sin was the same as vicioulsy stabbing Christ in the back with a knife as He hung on the cross suffering for our sins!

a single instance of improper sex was a lifetime taint that MIGHT be resolved at the end of that life if that life was then impossibly exceptionally devoted to making up for that horrendous sin, but the sinner better be Heavy Duty groveling to every LDS Inc whim in every instant in the mean time!


Two or more instances? the sinner is a lost cause -Just turn the title of their soul over to Satan and get it over with!


The Hell of puberty in a MORmON upbringing according to ex Mo comedian Bengt Washburn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWbYTAC02I8

OMG I just spent an hour listening to you tube because of your link! Too funny! Thanks!

Lori

Sex is a drive, as powerful as the desire to eat and drink and seek shelter. With the sex drive, homo sapiens would have died out millions of years ago. Just as we feel pleasure eating when we are hungry and drinking when we are thirsty, we feel horny to perpetuate our species.

Religion and society have tried to curb this powerful instinct, but it is a drive, not a disease or past time. Without sex, we simply never come into being.

cute

In certain respects, sex is LIKE a drug; I'm sure (withour documentation) that having sex releases certain brain chemicals (endorphins?) that have specific effects.
Those things should be known to children / adolescents as well as the emotional & health information regarding our sexuality.

So while LDS, Inc. wants us to DO what they say ('obedience'), I'm sure their program is only telling Part of the story (Won't tell that having sex is enjoyable as it is 'necessary' for continuity of the human race!)

Yes, there is a fixation on sex in Mormonism. I think it can scar little kids because their bishop starts asking them if they masturbate before they are ready for that conversation sometimes.

I hope the over-emphasis on controlling sex for others does not carry over in to recovery, but it can.

Overall, sex means different things to different people. So it's very difficult to try to fit everybody in to one category. That's one of the failings of Mormonism.

T-Bone

"Sex is the most fun two people can have without laughing."- Humphrey Bogart

I am a 27 year old guy and still a virgin, and I blame the Mormon church :/

Someone earlier hit on a good point. Sex has caused a great many of the problem we encounter in the world. On the one hand, you have the various Christian and non-Christian religions equating sex with guilt and sin, and creating a sense in people that if they desire sex, somethings wrong with them. That's one extreme. But, then you have the other side of that coin, which is extremely prevalent here in the US. That other side is that sex is the most important part of the relationship, and the if it feels good do it mentality. Both extremes are problematic. One extreme leads to feelings of guilt and worthlessness, the other leads to promiscuity and distorted views on relationships.

I've always had the view that sex is a very special form of communication that should only be shared with one person who you plan to be with forever. Its a special form of communication that says "I love you so much, I want to create a life with you." Its also a form of intimate communication that conveys an emotional connection to someone that mere words can not express. Why would you want to share that kind of connection with just anyone. I'm sure to draw criticism with this point of view, but I'm entitled to my point of view just as the rest of you are.

Believe it or not!!! Even though my 2 relationships have been with men who had a lot of experience sexually, I, myself, felt and still feel I have to have a connection with the person and a commitment.

Everyone views sex different and each person has to decide what is right for them--whenever mormonism or religion messed them up or not.

I wanted the fairy tale they told me in mormonism--the one and only who had saved himself for me. Didn't happen. I had a real struggle when losing my marriage (to a very sexually acdtive gay man) and getting back in a relationship with the nonmember I dated at age 20. He had a lot of experience sexually, too.

MY exmo therapist discussed my issues with me many times--that idea of saving yourself for that one and only. He asked me, "Does being a virgin make you royal?" What kind of people are your ex and your boyfriend? I knew at age 20 what kind of guy my boyfriend is--but the church told me otherwise.

To me--what it comes down to--is what is right for me and not for anyone else. I have to be true to myself. Others have to be true to themselves. It isn't my right to decide. My only right is to decide if I can be with that person.

And I actually do think sex is absurd if you think about it. So what?