http://www.mormontimes.com/article/20995/Whats-the-purpose-of-our-lives
"I'm gonna do what I have to do in order to get back to the people who are important to me."

What would you do?

Marry many women? Give your wife to the prophet? Refrain from things good in moderation like wine and tea? Swear bloody oaths to keep rituals secret? Believe despite all the evidence to the contrary that very ancient American history was Christian? Lie, cheat and show favoritism when wisdom, knowledge and experience tell you otherwise? Listen to the voice of an imaginary ghost? Make excuses for bad behavior in the past?

I have given up on that crap. I have walked on eggshells around them for 4 years this month, as it was then that I told my grown kids my truth, that I had studied for 5 years and no longer believed.

If THEY want to be in MY life they will be respectful and not judge me because I no longer believe they same things they do. I still happen to be a very good person.

Some have done this. But with a few, no, it is just constant judgement and fear that they must "protect their children from me".

I asked one the other day why they were SO very worried I might say something about the church to their kids that they would not want them to hear ( which I have NEVER done, btw) if they are SO very certain they have the truth?

Anyway, I am done walking on eggshells. And here is what I will do to get back to them that show no respect for me: NOTHING.

I will stay out of their lives, avoid them whenever possible, never go visit them, never call them or email them and never send them any gifts or money and never take or send treats to them, and I am moving 800 miles away from SLC in part so that I will not feel so constantly rejected. ( And also for the beach and the weather to be perfectly honest)

If they ever want to treat me with respect, and I'm only speaking here of those that do not, then maybe we will talk someday and change the rules, because under these stupid, idotic rules I have no desire any longer for a completely superficial phony relationship with some of them, and they know well of whom I speak.

I guess you could say that because of some the ways I have been treated, some of them have just become unimportant to me. That is what finally happens, you just burn out.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/31/2011 08:43PM by think4u.

think4u Wrote:
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> Anyway, I am done walking on eggshells. And here
> is what I will do to get back to them that show no
> respect for me: NOTHING.

Good luck. They give you nothing but a sense of community and a hope that will last beyond the grave.

If you don't want to pay their steep prices of conformity, obedience and doing just about whatever they ask of you in return - AWESOME!!!

Sadly, it's their loss. Even more sadly, they don't even realize their loss. The upshot: You may have amazing fun on the coast and forget to worry about them. I think you already aren't worrying about them. Anyway, life is short. I'm not concerned one tiny iota about the "after life."
Having too much fun now.

I really do mean it. Four years of trying to please them, given no respect in return, being accused that I might someday do something that I have NEVER ONCE done- honestly , I wonder what is wrong with them. They live and judge out of fear, that much is obvious.

I will play their games no longer. Until and if they are ever ready to make serious apologies and changes, I am done, not with all, but with a few.

It has been ridiculous what I have put up with in the way of judgement and disrespect. Especially when I have done so very much for each of them in their lives. I know I was a great mom. I never have to feel guilty that I was not always there for them, always supportive.

I don't care if they are my own kids. A fake and superficial relationship means NOTHING to me, and I will no longer settle for that. So, most likely for many years, we will be taking a very long break. I am at peace with this decision, because it has been going on for so long I guess. Again, this does not include the majority. Some have been very kind and thoughtful, some have even tried to understand me and where I am coming from, and that has been wonderful.

Like I have said here before, over the past 4 years I have finally learned I do not love my grown children enough to let them treat me with their constant judgement, fear about imaginary issues, and disrespect. I have always tried to be respectful of them, but lately with a few, not so much. They need just a bit of their own medicine. And from now on I will stand up for myself and quit being a damn doormat.

That's what I kept wondering. I was so insecure that I kept looking at everyone around me for cues because I was afraid to step out of line. But after the death oaths and naked touching in the temple, the cult mission experience, the huge expense of tithing, the unexplained moral wrongness of the Mormon church's racism and polygamy, and then reading about people giving their wives to Smith, the United Order, the preventable handcart disasters, the Mountain Meadows massacre, blood atonement...... Eventually, I had to put on the long pants and do what I needed to do to get out.

At what point do these excesses become evidence of fraud for these people? Why do Mormons not say "You know what? Proposition 8 is about nothing except hate, and I'm not going to be part of it." Or how about excluding parents from an only daughter's wedding, because they didn't pay enough in church donations? These aren't just "issues." They are evidence that this organization is not what it claims to be. Why can Mormons not see this?

At what point does the burning bosom become a belly ache?



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 05/31/2011 11:29PM by Makurosu.

Makurosu Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> At what point do these excesses become evidence of
> fraud for these people? Why do Mormons not say
> "You know what? Proposition 8 is about nothing
> except hate, and I'm not going to be part of it."
> Or how about excluding parents from an only
> daughter's wedding, because they didn't pay enough
> in church donations? These aren't just "issues."
> They are evidence that this organization is not
> what it claims to be. Why can Mormons not see
> this?

I think the Law of Obedience gets in their way. After all, they were sworn with an oath to obey that law, and Mormons are all about obeying the laws of the hand.

> At what point does the burning bosom become a
> belly ache?

At the point their Word of Wisdom fails to keep their bellies from ruling their brains. Nothing like refreshments to "bring The Spirit" into a gathering of Mormons.