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Posted by: Anonymous 2 ( )
Date: January 13, 2018 12:29AM

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Posted by: SonOfLaban ( )
Date: January 13, 2018 02:22AM

After it, we'll enjoy DEXTER.

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Posted by: Topped ( )
Date: January 13, 2018 02:20PM

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: January 15, 2018 11:06AM

Lemme guess... Ann Dibb (in primary president speaking to 4-year-olds voice): "blah blah special blah blah blah special blah blah..."

Eyering (in kid about to be spanked voice): "blah blah sniff sniff sniff blah blah sniff blah blah..."

Udork (in sexy German fighter pilot voice): "dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah da gospel dablah dablah dablah dablah..."

Nelson (in contain the excitement voice): "blah blah blah I'm with Monson on the gay thing blah blah blah blah, but lesbians make the best wives when you're 80 blah blah blah"

Jowels (in I'm not a dodo voice): blah blah BLAH blah blah BLAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH..."

Hoax (in I'm trying so hard not to show my gay side voice): blaaaaaaaaah, blaaaaaaaaah, blaaaaaaaaah, blaaaaaaah....

Everyone sings "We thank the, oh God for all the profits," funeral of the prophet is adjourned for four years, GAs file out before family because they're the most important, Wendy and Sherri high-five each other with tears in their eyes, "Yes! We made it!"

***Disclaimer for busy body sibling: This is Parody. Don't get your holy panties in a wad.

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Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: January 15, 2018 11:55AM

nailed it !!!

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Posted by: StillAnon ( )
Date: January 13, 2018 05:32PM

After that, I spent a few hours watching my grass grow and then later that evening, I painted my garage wall just to watch paint dry.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: January 13, 2018 05:46PM

it was dead.

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Posted by: baura ( )
Date: January 13, 2018 06:46PM

Here's how a beloved religious leader's funeral OUGHT to be ...

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Posted by: CateS ( )
Date: January 13, 2018 07:43PM

I couldn't even get all the way through the filing in of the family before I couldn't take it any longer.

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: January 13, 2018 07:50PM

Too bad “Six Feet Under” is off the air. They could have had a marvelous episode with the death and funeral of a prophet!

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: January 13, 2018 08:37PM

No. Don't care.

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Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: January 14, 2018 03:30AM

I know nothing.

I do remember my GA grandfather's funeral, in the tabernacle, before that bigger building was built. I was a young girl, born and raised in California. The hearse and our limousines were caravanning down State Street, and there were crowds of people lining the streets, the whole way. I said, "Look at all those people! What's going on today?" I had no idea this was all for Grandpa.

True story--during the closing prayer, a sudden, huge gust of wind swhooshed across the front of the chapel, blowing papers around, knocking over some of the flower arrangements, and slamming the two front doors, on either side of the pulpit. People thought it was Grandpa! I swear they really did!

I guess there weren't any miracles at Monson's funeral. How boring.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 14, 2018 03:42AM

That is a great story.

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: January 14, 2018 01:27PM

At my grandmother's funeral many years ago, the powers to be, Dad and the other uncles thought it would be best that the grandsons be the pallbearers.

When you get 8 teenagers jocking for position, and we were getting grandma out of the hearse, there was tripping and stumbling, and of course the coffin was bounced up and down.

Things settle down, but there were evil eyes glaring at us as we enter the church, especially from mom.

Afterward mom caught up with us and started berating us on how we were so disrespectful and rude.

My brother, the oldest of the bunch, more mature and saw things from a different point of view, spoke up and said it wasn't our fault, it was grandma's fault.

"Grandma was inside the coffin laughing at all of us."

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2018 01:28PM by tumwater.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: January 14, 2018 02:09PM

Was it all performed in passive voice? As in, "Feelings were soothed, and hearts gladdened. Seemingly from out of nowhere, a roasted turkey was produced, and bellies were filled!"

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: January 15, 2018 09:56AM

Thanks for the laugh.

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Posted by: Lachesis ( )
Date: January 15, 2018 06:02PM

Minds were numbed.

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Posted by: Tyrrhenia ( )
Date: January 17, 2018 03:23PM

cludgie, you are funny!

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Posted by: fordescape ( )
Date: January 15, 2018 08:28AM

I swear that green thing on the casket must have been a fig apron. Usually one just sees flowers. But I've never been to a Mo funeral.

And his family filing int that conference center? That took days. I got bored in a hurry.

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Posted by: fritz ( )
Date: January 15, 2018 09:05AM

A surprising number of family members wore clothes I would consider to be inappropriate for a funeral: colorful shirts, no jackets, no ties, even at least one hoodie. Did the folks wearing that stuff want to tell us something or am I overthinking this?

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Posted by: jane ( )
Date: January 15, 2018 11:50AM

Do they lay out the Plan of Salvation at televised funerals?

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Posted by: baura ( )
Date: January 17, 2018 04:05PM

Funeral potatoes are part of the "Plan of Salivation."

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Posted by: jane ( )
Date: January 17, 2018 06:45PM


I've actually never had funeral potatoes but seeing them mentioned here several times lately I looked up a recipe today and will make them soon.

Strange, I got the green jello with veg-all, or sometimes just grated carrots growing up, but I didn't get the best of the bunch -- funeral potatoes.

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