I am a very irreverent and flippant person. While being capable of 'effort', I avoid it whenever possible. And, aye, there's the rub...

I do believe it's one of Robert A. Heinlein's very old short stories, about a man who was so lazy, that he kept inventing things to reduce the amount of effort life would require from him. In other words, he would only work hard to reduce his future expenditure of hard work or discomfort. I think I took that to heart. I learned that one thing which really helps make life easier is knowledge. Sometimes it's an effort to acquire it, but there are plenty of occasions when it saves time, money and effort. Plus ya look good being competent, dammit!!

I shan't regale you with the successes I've had 'enjoying' life, except on this one issue. While I didn't do it intentionally, I think that I added years to my lifespan and certainly joy to my daily existence by NOT having a daily commute.

I had an office job with a nice title, and a daily commute from Glendale to Cathay Circle, in LA. It was all street, no freeway, but it was a bit of a grind. And then they asked me to go out into the field, and I got to set my own schedule. That was in 1978. I've been in the field ever since.

Sure, there are a few days a year when I have to be some place at an early hour, and get to stop and go all the way there. But it quickly became second nature to plan my day to avoid traffic.

Recently I've heard stories about how a daily commute takes years off one's life. And I would like to think the reverse is true, that when I'm flying down the W/B 91 at 5:30 p.m., that the euphoria I feel at NOT being stuck in those E/B lanes adds not only the quality of my life, but to the 'quantity' of my life.

As I admitted, I didn't plan for this, but I certainly have enjoyed it. Frankly, I've done very little planning and a whole lot of adapting...

But the basic question remains: how does one decide how much 'enduring' is required, versus just enjoying life? Whom do we allow to define the ratio? Who is competent to do so?

Isn't it a shame that 'happiness' isn't measurable or quantifiable? That you can't be hooked up to a some device that spits out a finding: "82% happiness quotient fulfilled", or some such.

It hasn't all be skittles and beer, but my bounces within the machine works of the Bell Shaped Curve of Life have been rather nice, but it's a bit disconcerting, at times, that I have no person, place or thing to thank, other than "Randomness".

Randomness bin veddy veddy gud to me.

Please feel free to express whatever thoughts come to mind; I can take it...

I recently read that very Heinlein short story too (already forgot the title but his stuff is good).

I've thought about that "enduring" vs. "enjoying" ratio too.


Maybe it's related to being hard-wired to view a glass as half full or half empty.


Maybe it's related to going through life being told you are a sinner that needs saving or that life is all about suffering. You start believing it after a while.

The people who do nothing but enjoy sometimes can be the grasshopper who didn't endure like the ants. You have to find a happy medium.

I have a very dear friend, a college professor who always identified as Jewish. She and her family attend synagogue, support Jewish charities, etc., and for several years she ran a Jewish civic organization. She has grown more conservative over the years. I remember when she asked if we could stop going to our favorite Thai restaurant because she wanted to start abiding by the Jewish dietary restrictions.

Imagine my surprise, then, when we were in a car one day discussing the passing of one of her relatives. She said the saddest thing was she knew there was no afterlife. I turned to her and asked, "or an interventionist deity?" She nodded and repeated back to me, "or an interventionist deity."

I said I had always thought she was a believer. She replied that "no, I'm an atheist." I asked why she chooses to worship, prays, participates in services, etc. She answered, "I am religious because I need someone to say 'thank you' to."

Wow. Why doesn't she just thank the cook at the Thai restaurant!


I say thank you to stars. I mean, surely stardust would rather be shining brightly somewhere than being molecules in frumpy old me.

I say thank you to animals and plants and the sun that give energy for me to live. It makes me feel pretty lucky to have existed at all.

I also know Jewish people who submit themselves to all kinds of nonsense rules and they don't believe. I don't get that level of need for ritual, custom, identity and structure.

The answer to your ironically serious question about the Thai cook is tradition and family.

Like a lot of Jews, her family has had a tough history. She understands what life is like for most people. For her and her husband, Judaism is a major connection to their ancestors, siblings, and children. The rituals and practices are a reinforcing factor in their family life.

I'd add that these people are probably all atheists, or agnostics--indeed, I bet that is true of the majority of their synagogue. Which means that they are not susceptible to emotional appeals in the name of religion and they do not subscribe to any sort of ethnic preoccupation. I remember when my friend went to Israel for the first time: she hated it, thought the discrimination and segregation was appalling.

I should also say that her family was an example to me, a recent RM, of what a family can be. I realized then that the Mormon model was a pale imitation of what people who truly value family can do. I learned a lot from them.

Not to make light of the subject but.... I just did a DNA test and found out I am Jewish in my blood! Who would've thought? Mostly Eastern European (my mother's parents were born in Estonia).

What does she do or say to that "someone" if and when a very negative things happens in her life? Where does she think cancer comes from, for example?

I heartily reject the notion that there is a 'judgment' process, now or later.

Oh, she doesn't think there is a judgment. She's very much a "rain falls on the just and the unjust alike" woman.

She just thinks, or chooses to think, that in her life there has been more good than bad and wants to memorialize that conviction. Perhaps she thinks that celebrating the good changes her attitude and makes the balance a bit better, moves her a bit further out on the bell curve.

She is a very worldly, sophisticated woman who works hard to help anyone she can. She isn't waiting around for God to make the world a better place.

I'll be thinking about your post all day. Thank you.

Given that this topic has come up again, Kathleen, let me say that you are welcome. You add to my life and I'm glad that once or twice I may have reciprocated.

Some things happen that are beyond our control. We can't help it when deaths, jobs we don't like, failed marriages, pain, sickness, handicaps, etc. However, we can totally choose how we react to these things. We can wallow in pity, play the victim card, blame others, on and on. This never works. Or we can pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and tackle making all that is wrong better. (Like eod, instead of keeping a job that drained him and doing nothing but gripe about it, he searched for and found a job that was truly right for him.) As someone once said, "Life is what you make it. " It's a big world with all kinds of possibilities, and many people to meet.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2018 06:29PM by Aquarius123.

Just "endeavor to persevere" and you'll be fine.

5 bonus points if you know where the quote is from :)

Endeavor to perservere.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRX6hSGeZs4



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2018 07:02PM by saucie.

Score!

I feel like I am struggling with my work life at present. I try to stay focused on the positives, but the negatives seem to be increasing. So it has come to feel like I am "enduring." I have another 5-6 years to go before I retire, but I feel like I'm ready NOW. I don't know what's next, but I'm ready for it to happen.

My fellow teachers are struggling with it as well. The job has a stranglehold on us, but at least some of life has to be about enjoyment. I work hard to include the enjoyment aspect, but again, it's a struggle.

Harmony happens. I like when it happens to me. I appreciate it.

I was reading about an eighty year old playwright who is having a new play produced on Broadway. She says she just keeps lots of notes and then the play just pops out when it's ready.

I read a while ago that the people who achieve the most and enjoy doing it do the very least to get the job done. That makes sense to me. It is what I have always done. The extra mile is extra.

Someone asked me once if I was happy and I said, "I must be because it hasn't occurred to me to wonder if I am or not."

I knew what enduring was when I was Mormon. Didn't feel good.

It's best to endure the least possible. Enduring any extra is just extra.

P.S. Old Dog. Have you ever read Reader's Block by David Markson. I think you would like it. It makes no sense at all except to certain people. You are definitely a "certain" person.

I thought you were going to point out the LDS disconnect between "Man is that he might have joy" and "Endure to the end."

WTF!?

Oh, and does Porto's Bakery help you endure *and* have joy?

Porto's has finally gotten around to expanding!

I loved it when I lived in Glendale. I am in Orange County, and they opened a store in Buena Park. But it's always so nuts, having to wait in a long line to buy a few dozen cheese puffs...

I don't think I have much in the way of lingering 'effects' from my mormon days. I was always in favor of the 'man is that he might have joy' notion. And every time I'd meet a nubile female named Joy, I'd giggle a lot.

I doubt there are many mormon males who think about 'enduring to the end' when the opportunity for a good time arises.

Mostly I was musing about what I've 'done' with my life, I mean, other than have a good time. I think I'm feeling a bit concerned that there might be a piper to be paid, that there's a balance sheet somewhere... It's a fleeting feeling, but it does show up.

When you’re pulling taffy, they’re kind of the same thing.

Mormons do not endure life. They endure Mormonism and refuse to be a part of life.

Wisdom.

Enduring vs enjoying life is largely a 'state of mind' for 'most' people!

Here is where we can really make 'our own reality' ---- why just endure if one can enjoy?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2018 11:32PM by spiritist.

I think I get where you're coming from, Spiritist, but there are literally millions of people to whom advice about a change in their attitudes would remake their worlds.

Middle and upper class Americans, and probably all 1st World country citizens, actually have choices about the paths of their lives. My mission showed me that large swaths of people simply don't have such choices. They are literally (well, they were back in the 60s) stuck to the land where they were born.

My angst, regarding my probable excessive 'joy' versus what I should be 'enduring' pales compared to what so many people in the world go through. ...so now I feel guilty...

I went to a 3rd world country. I found most people to be 'very happy'!! All 3rd world people would be trying to get into the US if what you are saying was true.

Joy is not found in ones' wealth, job, or power, etc. it is found within!

We will have to agree to disagree on this and many other things!

Here you say that people in the developing world are "very happy" and don't want to come to the United States.

In other threads, however, you claim that the US has to tighten border control because of the hoards of people from the poor world who want to come here to work for American companies.

Which is it?

Oh, come on now, he went to a "3rd-world country" and met some people -- so he knows what all people in all countries are like!
Don't be so mean!

:)

Thanks, Hie. It is all clear to me now!

"I am a very irreverent and flippant person..."

I never would have guessed! ;-)

Sadly, I have a commute. Though it's nowhere nearly as bad as going west on 91 in the morning, or east in the evening. But I certainly agree that "stuck in traffic" is highly stress-inducing, and bad for all involved. Which is why I get up at 3:45AM every day, am on the road by 4:20AM, and in the office by 5:15AM. Because almost nobody else is on the road. That makes it a rather fun drive, and is entirely stress-free.

The downside, of course, is loss of sleep...which I diligently make up for on the weekends with naps (it helps to have a 2 year-old at home who takes 2 hour naps every afternoon...on weekends, we nap together and everybody else in the house keeps quiet!). Unless I've got a tee time, which as a relaxant and stress reducer beats naps any day...

Enjoying the views on this subject. No doubt but that (as it would seem), most of us have experienced some of both.

My list of the good:

. Learn early in life to gain skills that will support one's self in life (such as from schooling).

. Good 'enough' health, and health care.

. Decent place to live.

. Always enough food (don't have to worry about it).

. Can (financially) support one's self.

. Supportive and loving family and friends.
-----

None of this comes 'for free'. One has to work and contribute to society.