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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: March 10, 2018 08:43PM

"Top Ten Reasons Noah’s Flood is Mythology" . . .

"Number 10: Where’s the Ark?

Surely, the survivors of such an expedition would have remembered the location of the Ark. It’s hard to believe they wouldn’t have built a monument or something — perhaps not as elaborate as one of the Pyramids, or even Stonehenge, but surely they would have done something to mark the resting place of the vessel that preserved them and all life on Earth. But we’re expected to believe that they just walked away and let the thing fade into oblivion.

"Number 9: Why Has Noah Been Forgotten?

"Except for those cultures that have been exposed to the tale of the Ark as found in the Old Testament, no other people on Earth remember the name of Noah — the father of us all. It is absurd in the greatest degree to think that nations which routinely preserve the names of their great kings, warriors, and heroes, have somehow forgotten about Noah, to the point where they don’t even remember his name or the fact that he once existed. [See also: 'Other Names for Noah?']

"Number 8: Who was Noah’s Wife?

"Somehow, the mother of all mankind remains unnamed in Genesis. Not only that, but the wives of Noah’s sons are also unnamed. Again, this is an absurdity. There are non-scriptural texts that provide names for such people, but they are all in disagreement as to what those names were. See Wives aboard Noah’s Ark.

"Number 7: Conditions Aboard the Ark Were Unsurvivable

"We have previously estimated that they were at least 10 times worse than the accommodations aboard a slave ship. See 'How Horrible Was Life Aboard Noah’s Ark?' For our comparison of Noah’s waste removal problems with the similar task faced by Hercules in cleaning the Augean stables, see 'Waste Disposal on Noah’s Ark.'

"Number 6. Biogeography is All Wrong.

"If every species of animal on Earth radiated out from the landing site of the Ark, today’s living varieties and their fossilized ancestors should reveal that pattern of dispersal. But as Darwin observed on his round-the-world voyage on the Beagle, the actual distribution of animal life is quite different. See chapters 11 and 12 of Origin of Species here.

"Number 5: Where is the Evidence of Universal Population Bottlenecks?

"Except for a few species known to have recently recovered from near extinction, animal life on Earth shows far too much genetic diversity to be descended from only a pair of Ark-borne ancestors a few thousand years ago.

"Number 4: What About the Water?

"One of our readers (docbill) told us about this website: 'All Water On Earth As Sphere Compared To Size Of Earth.' Enough water to cover the entire Earth to the height of the tallest mountains would require a much larger sphere of liquid. Where did that extra water come from, and more importantly — where did it go?

"Number 3: What About Egypt?

"They have a written history that precedes, is co-existent with, and which continues uninterruptedly after the time of the Flood, yet somehow they were unaware of that catastrophic global event. The same is true for the Chinese and other cultures. How did a global Flood somehow ignore them, leaving their societies intact?

"Number 2: The Earth’s Geology is All Wrong if There Were a Recent Global Flood

"This topic is not only too large to explain here, but there’s also the limitation that your Curmudgeon isn’t a geologist. Nevertheless, we know that it was the development of geology that caused belief in the Flood to be discarded. We once posted briefly about one bit of geological evidence that clearly contradicts the Flood myth. See 'Can Noah’s Flood Explain Banded Iron Stripe.'

"And the Number One Reason the Flood is Mythology iIs: It zdidn’t Work!

"We’re told that the purpose of the ghastly planet-killing exercise is that mankind was wicked. That’s the reason everything was cruelly destroyed — except for Noah, his righteous family, and their chosen menagerie. Okay, fine, but there’s one little detail — the whole business was a colossal futility! There is still wickedness in the world, which means the planetary slaughter was not only cruel beyond imagining, it was also stupid. But even a creationist would agree that such behavior is incompatible with the nature of God, so the only rational conclusion is that the Flood is a childish (For further, more detailed take-downs of sippy cup Bible babble pertaining to an alleged globe-covering, embark-on-the-ark flood, see and /faq-noahs-ark.html)

Edited 12 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2018 01:25PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 12:46PM

Noah's wife was Joan of Ark.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 01:18PM

. . . thus meaning he had no physical body that could evolve.

I know it sounds absurd, but creationists are good at creating nonsense out of nothing that doesn't hold water.

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2018 02:05PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: StillAnon ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 01:24PM

Good try Steve. You atheists are really something. The Ark is in Kentucky. I saw it on TV. Promise. You can see it for yourself for only $48.00.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 01:34PM

Kentucky? If it's the real ark, why isn't it in Arkansas? Huh?

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 01:40PM

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Posted by: MeM ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 01:43PM

My TBM relatives who visited the Kentucky Ark were might impressed especially with the baby dinosaurs!

When they talk about the Ark experience, they speak in the same "sacred" tone as they do when talking about temple work. Just awesome.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 02:03PM

Two of every kind, jockeys included.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2018 02:04PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 01:32PM

Since it's official Mormon doctrine that the world wide flood was a literal event (baptism of the earth and all that) it's one of the best examples of not thinking too deeply if you want to believe.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 01:36PM

"I don't know that we teach that," says next prophet when asked about this in public.

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Posted by: Lilac ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 08:59PM

That is so true. Don't think too deeply about religious doctrines or stories if you want to remain a believer. Participation on this board is proof of what happens when you do. It also led me to atheism. From what I can tell, god is not a stickler for consistency.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 01:36PM

Obviously ghawd was involved, else how would they have known how long it rained? They wouldn't just make it up that it rained for 40 days and 40 nights!!

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 01:55PM

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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: March 11, 2018 09:14PM

Slight correction: the stories are not "sippy cup Bible babble". They are in fact of the patty-cake taffy pulling variety. Let's get our fact straight, shall we?

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 08:59AM

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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: March 12, 2018 06:37PM


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Posted by: Kjensen ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 09:17AM

Yeah, and to think that all the marsupials in the world made their way from Australia to the ark, and then back to Australia again. Not a one of them decided to stop and find a better place to live on the way back to the land down under. When seeing discussion such as these, it makes me cringe to think that I once accepted these things without question.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: March 13, 2018 10:14AM

I think you're all being too harsh.
After all, clearly the Noah-Ark story is just a metaphor!
It's a metaphor god kills all the evil people! No, wait, that's not's a metaphor for how everyone needs to be baptized, even the earth (even if that means killing millions of innocent children in the process)! No, that can't be right, it's a metaphor for...oh, crap, never mind, it's just a metaphor!

And never mind that Jesus is quoted in the bible as talking about it as if it were a real thing, and being "god" he should have known the facts. That was just a metaphor, too. Sheesh, don't take things so literally! People can maintain their belief in the overall story even if some (or all) of the things in the story never happened, you know! It's called faith!


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