It has recently come to my attention that my 80+ year-old grandfather is STILL supporting all three of his children. My mother got divorced and had to get a job, but still can't manage to take care of herself and the small bills that she has to pay every month. She is constantly asking him for money and cars, even though she gets child support from her ex every month (for three kids, even though only one goes to her her now). My grandfather even paid off a $10K credit card for her several years ago. Uncle #1 has a degree but has never been able to get out of debt his whole life. He is still asking my grandfather for cars and money as well, while his wife is working trying to support the remaining 4 children that are at home. Uncle #2 (and his wife) have both lost their jobs, but refuse to leave Utah because it's "the promised land" and "the best place to raise kids," so that makes it even harder to find a job. The wife secretly asked my grandfather for money to help them. This isn't the first time. They almost lost their house last year and called asking him for money to help them.

Here's my thought: I wonder if they hadn't been paying tithing on every dime if they would even be in situations like this. Six kids and always in debt. Lost jobs but no savings. Divorced and no clue. Is this a result of bad church teachings or bad parenting? I was perfectly capable of supporting myself after my divorce when I was 25 years old. Of course I wasn't paying a church one cent from my check and I didn't have a thousand kids to support. It seems to me that if being LDS and paying tithing every month brings so many blessings, then none of these people would even have such issues. And why don't they see that?

For many people like this even if they had that extra 10% they would still spend and lose it due to poor money management.

+1 definitely poor money management at fault here. Family dynamics are interesting, in some cultures it is expected of extended family to help constantly like this. I wouldn't necessarily put all the blame on parenting, a person could be a good parent and still have this problem. They may not even consider it a problem, it's just a way of life. As family I am obligated to help other family members.

What tithing does do is perpetuate and prolong poverty; you are stuck in a cycle you can never get out of or it takes years and years to get out. Where without tithing it may only take a year or two.

I think my grandfather does feel obligated to help because they are his children, but they have all used it to take advantage of him at one point or another. I don't think that's right. I would hate to think that just because I am able to manage my money properly that I would have to take care of my grown child for the rest of her life. Independence is something that I place a lot of value in. Coming from a household of seven children, I can say that we were poor and not able to have a lot of nice things. Our parents used their money on inane trifles. I think this is one reason why I am able to manage my money properly. My child is 2 and has a college fund set up already, something none of us ever had.

Anyway, I hesitated to blame it all on tithing, so I wanted to see what others thought. Anonow was right: they would probably take that extra 10% and spend it on stupid crap anyway.

I think tithing is a ridiculous burden to place on people. Even if you are able to manage on their income, think of what putting ten percent of your gross income into savings would do for your retirement and your ability to live your life with security. Also, the magical thinking involved in tithing (i.e. if you pay, God will take care of you) short circuits your ability to think and plan for yourself financially.

I wouldn't say it ruins your life but it makes it harder, sometimes much, much harder to succeed. There are people who can overcome paying tithing and magical thinking but many others who can't.

The real lives it ruins are the people who could have benefited from the tithing - the poor and needy - but who never received it. Most Mormons are convinced tithing goes to a good cause, helping others. We all know it doesn't. When I think of all the tithing we paid and what we could have done with it if we were determined to give it to charity, rather than the church, it makes me sick. We could have provided education, food, clothes, medical care etc. for needy children in third world countries. Instead, we bought tacky decor for McTemples with it. It makes me sick.

I used to do the Salvation Army angels every year. I would pick a child's name off a Christmas tree and buy gifts for him or her. Now all I can think about is how many other children I could have helped if I was able to put my tithing money toward an ACTUAL good cause instead of a perceived one. It's funny how I am now able to find peace giving to charities of my choosing, and not because I was coerced into it. I think you're right: tithing might not cause ruination, but the thinking that makes people pay tithing because they will get something "happy" in return does cause hardships.

Life got much easier once I stopped paying tithing. I can afford all the bills, my TBM wife finally got the dental work done that she needed, we have a new much-needed car, I went skydiving. Oh, and we're now supporting my unemployed TBM sister-in-law too. So yeah, I guess we're almost as strapped now as we were before, but there's no way I could have done all that stuff otherwise.

But I'm biting my tongue so I don't tell my wife anything she doesn't want to hear, like the fact that not paying tithing has been such a great blessing for us (well, advantage if I want to shy away from the word "blessing")