Date: April 14, 2018 05:07AM
I didn't want to advise on this thread. My condolences. I've been through it.
For awhile I said that I was struggling with believing in Jesus. I mentioned to my wife many times how untenable a tale godly atonements were becoming for me.
I just didn't get howcomes God (big G) needed to reproduce something with as big a head (godhead) as Himself in order to sacrifice it for Himself. God can forgive people so why was Jesus needed?
After a few years of disparaging The Savior I took aim at the big guy himself and I still am questioning with my wife the whole concept of "God."
She was very concerned when I brought up Jesus and needed me to confirm that I "still believe in God."
She is still with me. I honestly think it might have more to do with our relationship than anything else. Mormons are baffled as to why she would stay with me. And it gets worse if they know I'm not a Jesus believer. They seriously think my wife is going through life with one of the biggest challenges their gods could devise - shackled to an unbelieving spouse with their eternity up in the air.
I hope this insight shows someone that it is dealing with their beliefs crumbling in front of their spouses that it might not mean divorce but I will tell you I was wondering.
My problem was as I was changing from a somewhat believing Mormon into an apostate and then a dreaded atheistically inclined agnost I also was losing my "give a crap" sensitivities. I've lived over half of my life. That is a wakeup call. When it comes to choosing which delusions to support, this religious beliefs one seems to me to be the most absurd and difficult to support. I think sometimes cognitive dissonance is preferable to cognitive deceptions if you are trying to support a partner in their beliefs. I would prefer to compartmentalize my conflicting beliefs than attempt to try to believe something for the sake of another which I find absurd, potentially harmful to myself and completely unappealing to me.