One of many crazy things they put into my head. Jesus.

After all his troubles in New York and Ohio, and having gathered up a bit of a following, Smith had to promote the new place he wanted to move his cult to by extraordinary means. I mean, how many followers would just pick up from Ohio and go to Missouri for no good reason?

So Smith came up with a doozy: Missouri wasn't just the new place they were going to in order to dodge the Ohio law (after him for his bank fraud and other reasons), or the Ohio populace (after him for the already-spreading rumors of "spiritual wifery") -- it was Zion. The original location of the Garden of Eden. The place where Adam built an altar. The place where Noah built the ark. The place where -- any day now -- Jesus would come back from the clouds.

Yes, Smith insisted, they were moving there to establish the base of "Saints" so that Jesus would come back. Not to dodge the law or escape angry neighbors -- to welcome Jesus back!

He sure could tell a good whopper. And get people to believe it. Go figure.

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> After all his troubles in New York and Ohio, and
> having gathered up a bit of a following, Smith had
> to promote the new place he wanted to move his
> cult to by extraordinary means. I mean, how many
> followers would just pick up from Ohio and go to
> Missouri for no good reason?
>
> So Smith came up with a doozy: Missouri wasn't
> just the new place they were going to in order to
> dodge the Ohio law (after him for his bank fraud
> and other reasons), or the Ohio populace (after
> him for the already-spreading rumors of "spiritual
> wifery") -- it was Zion. The original location of
> the Garden of Eden. The place where Adam built an
> altar. The place where Noah built the ark. The
> place where -- any day now -- Jesus would come
> back from the clouds.
>
> Yes, Smith insisted, they were moving there to
> establish the base of "Saints" so that Jesus would
> come back. Not to dodge the law or escape angry
> neighbors -- to welcome Jesus back!
>
> He sure could tell a good whopper. And get people
> to believe it. Go figure.

I never heard that much detail about how that story originated and got passed down through the ages. It is one of the biggest mindscrews being in that religion and preparing for jesus in missouri where all the mormons will gather and do the hokey pokey probably. They really do think jesus is coming to missouri to watch over everyone as they do secret handshake temple work. And then resurrected people will walk around or something to live forever.

I think it was easier to convince people of crazy things back in the 1800's also. Their IQ was lower maybe.

Can you imagine the State of Utah emptying out and all of them walking to Missouri. I wonder what the Missourians would think about round two with the crazy mormons.

No one would be left in Missouri, not even a mangy yellow dog.

The saints will walk right in to the abandoned homes and take over the abandoned factories and farms.

I tend to believe you but could you possibly document your hypothesis?

One thing I've never quite figured out was why TSCC made the huge move to the west when they new "zion" was "ACTUALLY" just a little further south.

In fact, even now, why doesn't the church move headquarters to the garden of eden and the place of the second coming? Money's not the issue, I know that for sure.

When will Nelson call for the gathering of the saints in jackson county?

mightybuffalo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One thing I've never quite figured out was why
> TSCC made the huge move to the west when they new
> "zion" was "ACTUALLY" just a little further south.
>
>
> In fact, even now, why doesn't the church move
> headquarters to the garden of eden and the place
> of the second coming? Money's not the issue, I
> know that for sure.
>
> When will Nelson call for the gathering of the
> saints in jackson county?

Probably never. My guess is they will be in the exact some spot in 2050 still saying jesus is coming aaanytime now.

Just keep paying that tithing.

mightybuffalo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One thing I've never quite figured out was why
> TSCC made the huge move to the west when they new
> "zion" was "ACTUALLY" just a little further south.

They'd already been run out of Missouri on threat of death.
And polygamy was manifestly illegal there.

Utah was, at the time, Mexican territory. Although technically polygamy was also illegal there, the Mexicans had no presence, and weren't enforcing anything.

Hence...westward ho!

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> mightybuffalo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > One thing I've never quite figured out was why
> > TSCC made the huge move to the west when they
> new
> > "zion" was "ACTUALLY" just a little further
> south.
>
> They'd already been run out of Missouri on threat
> of death.
> And polygamy was manifestly illegal there.
>
> Utah was, at the time, Mexican territory.
> Although technically polygamy was also illegal
> there, the Mexicans had no presence, and weren't
> enforcing anything.
>
> Hence...westward ho!

So basically they moved west for sex.

Ah interesting. Well I doubt they'd get banned/mobbed out of jackson county if they went today. What's the hold up now??

I like to imagine sometimes the real estate deals that will open up in UT when all the faithful take off for Missouri.

It'll be a buyer's market during the second coming in Utah!

You'd be surprised how people feel about Mormons in Missouri.

I talked to a man whose family was still proud of the part they played in running Mormons out of Missouri. Some even tell stories about their ancestors who claim to have shot Mormons and are proud of it.

There are a lot of Amish around the area and I doubt they'd be very welcoming.

My favorite story about the "Altar" is that so many people have taken stones from it over the years that the caretakers occasionally "rebuild" it with new stones.

Heartless Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My favorite story about the "Altar" is that so
> many people have taken stones from it over the
> years that the caretakers occasionally "rebuild"
> it with new stones.

Is there an alter?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam-ondi-Ahman


Pictures:

https://www.google.com/search?q=adam+ondi+ahman+pictures&sa=X&biw=1440&bih=775&prmd=ivns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&ved=0ahUKEwjZ3ouagMXaAhWa0YMKHZvTADwQsAQIFA

Any time mormons find a large flat rock somewhere it always turns out to be an altar. *LOL*

[|] Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam-ondi-Ahman
>
>
> Pictures:
>
> https://www.google.com/search?q=adam+ondi+ahman+pi
> ctures&sa=X&biw=1440&bih=775&prmd=ivns&tbm=isch&tb
> o=u&source=univ&ved=0ahUKEwjZ3ouagMXaAhWa0YMKHZvTA
> DwQsAQIFA

Mormons keep topping themselves with their craziness. I never knew about this for some reason. Rock alters that they probably claim were from adam & eve days. I can't take their madness.

The altar doesn't look like the one's in my Dad's pictures from the 30's. I wonder if he and many others were duped.

Yes. Supposedly built by Adam himself.

It somehow survived the flood and remained intact for 6,000 years.

I heard about a guy who felt so guilty after taking one of those stones as a souvenir that he drove all the way from Utah to put back the sacred stone.

Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I heard about a guy who felt so guilty after
> taking one of those stones as a souvenir that he
> drove all the way from Utah to put back the sacred
> stone.

Jesus

smirkorama Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8aNf-lNh-g

Nice, you always find the good stuff. I guess jesus would rather shop at his mall instead of living in missouri.

So, how about the altar that Adam (not you, wanker) supposedly built at Adam-on-Diahmen (sorry about spelling, but this is pure Adamic so transliteration is a must)? Isn’t that proof that the Garden of Eden was in.......Pangea?

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So, how about the altar that Adam (not you,
> wanker) supposedly built at Adam-on-Diahmen (sorry
> about spelling, but this is pure Adamic so
> transliteration is a must)? Isn’t that proof
> that the Garden of Eden was in.......Pangea?

What the hell does on-diahmen mean? Is that pay le ale talk? You know their weirdness better than i do boner i think. I know what adam means, it either means jackass or badass depending on the day haha.

Badassadam1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What the hell does on-diahmen mean? Is that pay
> le ale talk?

It's more nonsense that Smith made up. The church claim is that it's "Adamic language," a language that can't be shown to exist. So church "leaders" have simply pretended it does, and have made up "translations":

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam-ondi-Ahman#Meaning_of_the_name

See, Badass, we use corrupted Modern-English to communicate, not pure Adamic. A subset of Adamic is pure Boneric. In English we say, “I know this church is true and that Joseph Smith was a prophet.” In pure Adamic/Boneric we would render this as, “Fuck the Morg!”



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2018 03:15AM by BYU Boner.

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> See, Badass, we use corrupted Modern-English to
> communicate, not pure Adamic. A subset of Adamic
> is pure Boneric. In English we say, “I know this
> church is true and that Joseph Smith was a
> prophet.” In pure Adamic/Boneric we would render
> this as, “Fuck the Morg!”

No matter how many times i say fuck the morg or flip off religious buildings their bullshit and behavior of the past and present still affects me. But not quite as much as before. I have to truly believe in my convictions that they are all into some bullshit.

The rocks look like glacial erratics to me.

And don't forget the future Council at Adam-ondi-Ahman, the Priesthood Meeting to end all priesthood meetings. A secret meeting with potentially millions of loyal priesthood holders – complete with all the famous names from the Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, and modern times – somehow kept hidden from the outside wicked world. Try to wrap your mind around that one.

The Skull and Crossbones Priesthood Meeting. Rumor has it that a few dead US Presidents will be in attendance....just saying....

Dallin Ox Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> And don't forget the future Council at
> Adam-ondi-Ahman, the Priesthood Meeting to end all
> priesthood meetings. A secret meeting with
> potentially millions of loyal priesthood holders
> – complete with all the famous names from the
> Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, and
> modern times – somehow kept hidden from the
> outside wicked world. Try to wrap your mind around
> that one.

Can't wrap my head around that one. This rabbit hole keeps getting weirder and weirder. But of course they will have a meeting, all mormons do is have meetings. No action or accomplishment just another pointless meeting that they will call sacred of course.

Did joe smith eat a lot of mushrooms and just call them visions?

No, he just made shit up.
The more outrageous, the more people believed it.

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No, he just made shit up.
> The more outrageous, the more people believed it.

I think he kept trying to top the last shit he made up. Get caught in a lie, no problem, make up a bigger lie. For being someone in his thirties i can see how this story kept playing out. Narcissism to the tenth degree. I wanted to be important too but not to that extreme.

Badassadam1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I think he kept trying to top the last shit he
> made up. Get caught in a lie, no problem, make up
> a bigger lie. For being someone in his thirties i
> can see how this story kept playing out.
> Narcissism to the tenth degree. I wanted to be
> important too but not to that extreme.

EXACTLY about Smith. And no, none of us is that narcissistic or evil as to do what Smith willfully did.

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Badassadam1 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> > I think he kept trying to top the last shit he
> > made up. Get caught in a lie, no problem, make
> up
> > a bigger lie. For being someone in his thirties
> i
> > can see how this story kept playing out.
> > Narcissism to the tenth degree. I wanted to be
> > important too but not to that extreme.
>
> EXACTLY about Smith. And no, none of us is that
> narcissistic or evil as to do what Smith willfully
> did.

That dude had to have loved himself is all i got to say. Grandeos thinking to the millionth degree. Like more narcissistic than my father. Now i know why the religion is a narcissist's dream. Following a guy in his twenties or thirties that says he's a prophet is never a good idea and that is all i will say. He'll be stealing your wife in no time.

He has already had her!

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> He has already had her!

Jesus i'm sorry boner. I have decided i will be the only one that has my wife when it happens. And the badass is not afraid to defend things that he cares about with his life. Even if i have to fight god himself.

Yeah, I’m sure it was a HARD decision—Joseph Smith and his cult or a Real Man with a Boner.