And so i can not talk or relate to them and this is the truth. I don't even think god understands if there is a god what the heck i have gone through in life. I think i am getting closer to my real authentic self. I was thinking today that some people don't get affected by religion as much as others. The people that are sensitive and took god seriously get their butts kicked and get taken advantage of at every corner because they had trust. I feel betrayed by god if there even is one. I am very displeased with my entire upbringing. The older i got, the worse religion got and i crashed under the pressure. It's still weird that it actually was a lie the whole time and a cult. There is a ton of crap still in my mind put in by that religion. I still don't feel like a free man yet at least mentally. I never fit in with my family really from the beginning. I was always different and questioned the religion at a young age but i always kept my silence about it. I knew all hell would break loose if i spoke my mind. I still think hell would break loose if i spoke my mind towards my family even now. I at least want to be mentally strong for when this happens. They all turned me into a bad guy so i just accepted that bs. I think there is always one person that a family turns into a bad guy because they don't toe the line and they turn him or her into their scapegoat. Truth will prevail in the end i think. Not the fairy tale bs they shoved into my brain as a kid. Not really sure how to live life for real and that is a scary thing.

I am in the same boat as you, but I always remember the meme that we select our friends, but family is not subject to our choice. So, in some ways, I value my friends to a higher degree.

My boyfriend is also estranged from his family, so we both have had to reconstruct our lives by building a cadre of friends. It has worked OK for us as a means to compensate for the shunning we have both experienced.

Kaitlyn Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am in the same boat as you, but I always
> remember the meme that we select our friends, but
> family is not subject to our choice. So, in some
> ways, I value my friends to a higher degree.
>
> My boyfriend is also estranged from his family, so
> we both have had to reconstruct our lives by
> building a cadre of friends. It has worked OK for
> us as a means to compensate for the shunning we
> have both experienced.

I hate the situation i was born into. They teach in religion that you choose your family before you are born but i definitely don't believe that. Unless i was one crazy sob before i was born and wanted the most difficult life and scenario that was humanly possible. So much hell. I hated that religion from a young age even if it was true. Why would god put me in a situation i hated and feed me to the wolves? Never made sense to me.

"Mom always liked me best!!"

I know because I was the hairy one, and she liked the hairless. The hairy Boner.

My Mormon family chose me...to be their scapegoat. Screw 'em.

Don, you’re a fine man and a survivor. Fuck the cult and its followers!

Badass, you're not alone in this regard. My parents are good people, but they cannot understand how anyone in his right mind could leave the LDS church. They do at least love me, as well as my wife and kids, more than they hate the fact that i'm not longer affiliated with their church, but they will never accept that I have no desire to be a part of their church. I'm one of the lucky few in this regard, though. Many people have situations much more like yours, where the family relationship essentially cannot exist without "The Church" being right in the middle of everything.

I would have liked to have replied to you in the now-closed thread concerning your pain in the area of your sternum. I wanted to tell you that I don't see any issue in your asking posters here about any experience they may have had with your particular symptoms as long as you don't take the advice too seriously. Even an MD cannot provide a reliable diagnosis under such circumstances. Furthermore, ANYONE can claim here to be a medical specialist of any kind; in the relative anonymity of this board, it would be difficult to know for certain if the person's credentials are to be trusted. If you're looking at the suggestions given to you as something you can bring up with your doctors, that is great. You would be wise, however, to consider information gleaned here not to be more credible than anything your doctors are telling you.

You mentioned having been examined four times in the past week. I'm glad about that. You're dealing with multiple medical conditions along with recovery from multiple procedures, and the recovery doesn't seem to be proceeding as quickly or smoothly as you would like. By all means you should ask others if they've experienced similar symptoms, and what their diagnoses were if doing so makes you feel even a little more in control of your life and your circumstances. My only concern in this regard is the whole "caveat emptor" thing: you should be fine in this regard as long as you take anything you get from the semi-anonymity of a message board with a healthy dose of skepticism.

I really hope your symptoms ease in the immediate future. We're pulling for you.

scmdnotloggedin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Badass, you're not alone in this regard. My
> parents are good people, but they cannot
> understand how anyone in his right mind could
> leave the LDS church. They do at least love me, as
> well as my wife and kids, more than they hate the
> fact that i'm not longer affiliated with their
> church, but they will never accept that I have no
> desire to be a part of their church. I'm one of
> the lucky few in this regard, though. Many people
> have situations much more like yours, where the
> family relationship essentially cannot exist
> without "The Church" being right in the middle of
> everything.
>
> I would have liked to have replied to you in the
> now-closed thread concerning your pain in the area
> of your sternum. I wanted to tell you that I
> don't see any issue in your asking posters here
> about any experience they may have had with your
> particular symptoms as long as you don't take the
> advice too seriously. Even an MD cannot provide a
> reliable diagnosis under such circumstances.
> Furthermore, ANYONE can claim here to be a medical
> specialist of any kind; in the relative anonymity
> of this board, it would be difficult to know for
> certain if the person's credentials are to be
> trusted. If you're looking at the suggestions
> given to you as something you can bring up with
> your doctors, that is great. You would be wise,
> however, to consider information gleaned here not
> to be more credible than anything your doctors are
> telling you.
>
> You mentioned having been examined four times in
> the past week. I'm glad about that. You're dealing
> with multiple medical conditions along with
> recovery from multiple procedures, and the
> recovery doesn't seem to be proceeding as quickly
> or smoothly as you would like. By all means you
> should ask others if they've experienced similar
> symptoms, and what their diagnoses were if doing
> so makes you feel even a little more in control of
> your life and your circumstances. My only concern
> in this regard is the whole "caveat emptor" thing:
> you should be fine in this regard as long as you
> take anything you get from the semi-anonymity of
> a message board with a healthy dose of skepticism.
>
>
> I really hope your symptoms ease in the immediate
> future. We're pulling for you.

I like talking to people that have been through the same medical things that i am going through now for some reason. I can't relate to a doctor that is not dealing with or has ever dealt with my issue but they do know how to repair things which has been very valuable and am greatful for MRIs so i don't feel like i am making stuff up. The images speak for themselves. The badass does not make things up when it comes to pain. It just takes a while to fix all the damage that has been done to my body and even my mind. I fear homelessness if my health doesn't get to a certain point but i do not push doctors. I have obeyed the very slow insurance and medical process. I wish i could walk into a doctors office, get an MRI right then and there in the office and then get surgery the next day. That would be badass. I pretty much know what needs to be fixed still but it just takes forever to get to the fixing part. And i sure as hell can't fix all this. I might be 36 years old by the time all my injuries are repaired and my health is solid and stable. It's all a time thing and i am an impatient dude. I ask advice on here and talk to doctors and specialists at the same time. Sometimes i have something no doctor has seen before like a bone spur on the hyoid bone and so asking people on here can be helpfull in that reguard. Sometimes a doctor doesn't really care also so i have to find a badass that knows what he is doing and what he is talking about.

Sometimes a
> doctor doesn't really care also so i have to find
> a badass that knows what he is doing and what he
> is talking about.


Certainly not all doctors are relatable and/or good communicators, either with regard to listening to patients or to providing patients with much-needed information. It bothers me that they're not, as communicating with patients is one of the most important parts of the job.

When you describe a particular symptom, posters sometimes respond as though a condition they or their close relatives have suffered absolutely has to be what you are experiencing. Maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. Only a qualified professional, after reviewing the correct diagnostic procedure results, can make that determination. As long as you are cognizant of all that as you are reading responses, seeking the input of others is probably harmless at the very worst and quite possibly highly beneficial to your state of mind.

I know I'm not alone here in wishing the very best for you, and as soon as is possible.

Happy you are here with us, Adam. Honored that you think of us as your family. I'm in!

:)

(That is, if you mean me, too.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/18/2018 11:44PM by kathleen.

kathleen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy you are here with us, Adam. Honored that
> you think of us as your family. I'm in!
>
> :)
>
> (That is, if you mean me, too.)

Duh, of course you're in.

You're my brother from another mother, badass!

:)

Honored to be part of your family.

Let's do a family reunion! Boner can bring the beer, ElderBerry can bring the wine (<grin>), I'll bring the coffee, you bring the music. We can meet up anywhere except Idaho. :)

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You're my brother from another mother, badass!
>
> :)
>
> Honored to be part of your family.
>
> Let's do a family reunion! Boner can bring the
> beer, ElderBerry can bring the wine (), I'll bring
> the coffee, you bring the music. We can meet up
> anywhere except Idaho. :)

Hahahaha yes definitely not idaho. You guys would probably rather meet in utah and in the SLC temple to meet hahaha. But no secret handshakes or crazy passwords haha that is rule number one and no suits. This state is on it's last legs for sure. Oh you guys are in for a treat if i bring the music get ready for some badass metal. And maybe we can play some cards and have a BBQ. Watch a clippers game or something. Do they even exist anymore i haven't followed basketball in so long.

Pretty cool bunch o' folks here alright....

first started posting.

"The people that are sensitive and took god seriously get their butts kicked and get taken advantage of at every corner because they had trust."

My therapist told me years ago that we tested mormonism to its very limits and it failed us.

I gave it my all. My younger sister just told me that the other day when we were talking about bishopric interviews. I've been the scapegoat many times in my family. My older sister likes to make me that. You wouldn't believe the things she has done to me in my life. My therapist even told me I was their scapegoat and he said I'm also the identified patient since I get help and they don't. He said if they'd all get help (including my ex), then I wouldn't need it. I'm my ex's scapegoat all the time. You'd think I was the one who left him and cheated on him. It gets old.

cl2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> first started posting.
>
> "The people that are sensitive and took god
> seriously get their butts kicked and get taken
> advantage of at every corner because they had
> trust."
>
> My therapist told me years ago that we tested
> mormonism to its very limits and it failed us.
>
> I gave it my all. My younger sister just told me
> that the other day when we were talking about
> bishopric interviews. I've been the scapegoat many
> times in my family. My older sister likes to make
> me that. You wouldn't believe the things she has
> done to me in my life. My therapist even told me I
> was their scapegoat and he said I'm also the
> identified patient since I get help and they
> don't. He said if they'd all get help (including
> my ex), then I wouldn't need it. I'm my ex's
> scapegoat all the time. You'd think I was the one
> who left him and cheated on him. It gets old.

Yes my therapist opened my eyes a while back on how i was made into the designated scapegoat and patient. I get help and they don't but they are the reason i get help. If they never existed i would never need help probably as much. It has always bothered me even to this day that they never get help when i always thought they needed it more than i did. I was just a product of their fantasy and environment. They think because they are solid in the religion with a temple recommend that they are normal or above me. And i did put that religion and their pathetic god to the test and it failed miserably. A dead rat could heal and help the badass better then they could. They are all zombiefied but it took me a while to figure it all out on why the hell was the religion and the family failing me no matter what i did.