Just wondering ... why ?

It isn't about "perfection," or having everything in its place and a place for everything.

Housework is never really done so long as you are living. There's always something that needs doing!

Trying to de-clutter and doing some spring cleaning. Seems like I'm constantly coming up short, because the more I do the more it seems like there is to do!

Any suggestions for organizing or helping to clean out the cobby webs?

Tackling the chores head-on usually works for me, even if it's one at a time. Looking at the BIG picture can get overwhelming. But when I break it down into little jobs it does seem more manageable.

I hear you. During the school year all I try to do is dust, wipe down counters, and vacuum or sweep occasionally. I save deep cleaning and organizing for summers when I'm off. I wish I didn't have to do that, but I spend too much weekend time doing just the cleaning basics along with school work.

I'm with you, I like to break down cleaning into manageable tasks. I might just clean out and organize one cupboard per day. Also, it helps that I'm now buying less "stuff" -- that means fewer things to organize.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2018 12:58PM by summer.

The internet is FULL of tips, suggestions, videos, etc. for decluttering, organizing and cleaning.
Any library or bookstore has a huge section about these. I'm sure you can find plenty of information.

I'm envious of the time you have to google every little neuron firing and post it here. I do sometimes enjoy many of the off topic posts. Maybe you can find something new that will help church members clean their buildings.

dagny Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The internet is FULL of tips, suggestions, videos,
> etc. for decluttering, organizing and cleaning.
> Any library or bookstore has a huge section about
> these. I'm sure you can find plenty of
> information.

That's true. There is tons of info online for any subject under the sun. Cleaning and organizing especially spring cleaning time gets lots of free press.

>
> I'm envious of the time you have to google every
> little neuron firing and post it here. I do
> sometimes enjoy many of the off topic posts. Maybe
> you can find something new that will help church
> members clean their buildings.

Not sure what you mean by 'every little neuron firing.'

I am semi-retired. And recovering from breast cancer. Am surrounded by computers both at work and at home, so if I check in more than others maybe it's because I do have the time in between whatever else I'm doing.

As for helping church members clean their buildings? That would depend on whether they are lurking here on RfM.

“I’m envious of the time you have to google every little neuron firing and post it here.“

This line just cracks me up. Hey, sometimes I google every neuron firing. I’m guilty too. But, damn that made me laugh hard, which always feels better than googling.

Envy: only one of the seven deadly sins.

In the last 30 days I have 323, now 324 posts.

You, Amyjo, have 520.

And I'm retired!!

I wasn't as anal as you are to count them though.

I have to give you credit AmyJo, it appears that you brought out the elderdog’s serious side. I didn’t know that could be done.

You have much to learn.

When will you former-Mormons let go of your obsession with numbers?

And your propensity to judge and criticize others?

So, Old Dog found someone who posts more than he does--big woop.


Back to the OT subject:

I hear you, Amyjo. It isn't really about time or even feeling good--it's about motivation and encouragement.

You answered your own question! (I love it when posters do that!)

"But when I break it down into little jobs it does seem more manageable."

Many of us live in circumstances that offer us very little praise, very little acceptance. Clean for your SELF. Enjoy your improved surroundings. Give yourself a pat on the back. I like to plan for a special book, or opera, or TV show, or an "after-party" when I have the children over to dinner. The house is clean (clean-er, anyway), and I can "rest on my laurels" and enjoy the orderliness. There is an intrinsic reward in a job well done. I turn off the iphone and computer, curl up with my cat and dog, light some scented candles, and luxuriate! You can't really luxuriate in messy surroundings, because the mess nags at you: "Clean me!"

I had an extreme challenge when my parents died, and their things ended up in our garage, after my siblings had picked-over all the valuables. My deceased brother's things were there, too. My children had not yet bought their houses, so their stuff was still in my house, in their rooms, and in the garage, plus, the things my ex-husband left behind, when he abandoned me and our children. We had no room for our cars. I was overwhelmed, and still grieving for my parents.

First of all, I became highly motivated to clear the stuff out. That part is up to you. what pushes your buttons? I wanted to be a good example to my children, and have a more positive, in-control, soothing home environment for them. This mattered to me more than "things." I wanted us to be able to drive our cars without having to scrape off all the ice and snow. I wanted to have a section in the garage for useable exercise equipment. Visualize your own goals.

I had my children go through the stuff in the garage, and take only what they really wanted to keep, and store it in boxes in one place, under the stairs. They stored their smaller, favorite things in see-through plastic bins on metal shelves we installed along the walls. Luckily, the kids are neat and orderly, by nature. I gave them a deadline, but they didn't mind, and were glad to have that storage space here.

You can categorize things, such as:
1) KEEP--What you currently use. Also, what has great sentimental/monetary value to you, that you need to keep.

2) SELL--Things of value that you can sell, especially large items, like old furniture, collectibles.

3) DONATE--Things to give away, that someone else would enjoy, such as clothes to keep them warm, appliances that still work. I would put the donation stuff directly into my car, and drive down there, at the end of each work-session, and get myself a soda on the way home, as my reward.

4) Things to throw away. Church stuff fit this category, and I recycled 8 shelves of LDS books and manuals, belonging to me and my parents. Lies are garbage, and I didn't want anyone else exposed to this junk. The Mormon trash was FUN to get rid of! I would watch the garbage truck pick up the cans, and sip a cup of coffee! (Really, the smallest rewards are all you need!)

Don't keep someone else's memorabilia, souvenirs of trips you didn't go on, or reminders of times or people you would rather forget. My ex-husband's stuff was the first to go, but I asked him first. Later, he changed his mind, and wanted some things, like his yearbook and diploma and trophies--sorry--too late!

It's your house, your life. You can trust your decisions! Deciding was more difficult than the actual work of clearing out and cleaning. Years later, there was only one mistake I made--but it's no big deal.

Always keep in mind the benefits of cleaning! Think positive!

--We have a garage for our cars.
--We have an exercise room.
--We have a room with a work counter and sink for crafts, gardening, and repairs.
--We have access to bicycles and garden tools, lawn mover, etc.
--We can find things, such as holiday decorations, winter blankets, camping gear, tools, when we need them.
--We put up shelves along the walls, and some plastic bins.
--Actually, there's more storage space than ever, and less clutter to have in the house closets and bedrooms.
--The windows aren't covered by piles of cardboard boxes, and the sun shines in, and we can see out.
--There is less dust and fewer spiders!

Cleaning is a thankless job, but--with the exception of dust, cobwebs and blowing leaves--all the junk you remove does NOT come back. Just, maintain.

I was so lazy and unmotivated, and so inclined to give up, that I took before-and-after photos. I also took photos of things that I had a hard time letting go of--memories--the dress I wore on a special date, my mother's elegant clothes. I kept the rest--don't force yourself to part with something that means a lot--but do find one special place for it, and store it.

If you're like me, you might want to write down where things are! I did a lot of shuffling around, and would have lost track of things, otherwise. Remember, this was a giant project, in my case, of sorting out 6 households!

Thanks for so many useful suggestions!

Part of my post was to kvetch and to vent about the cleaning process. I understand completely about the motivation. The end result is always its own reward. It's the "getting there" that takes initiative and yes, work. :)

My children left many of their things behind when they moved out of home. So that's part of my weeding through are the things I want to keep of theirs, and having something to give them someday when they have families of their own to remember their childhoods by. They're better organized and disciplined than I am about minimizing. I'm the diehard sentimentalist of the family. :)

“Many of us live in circumstances that offer us very little praise, very little acceptance.”

Yes, There are millions of people who work hard to live beautiful lives who are amazing incredible funny kind helpful people, but who received very little praise. That’s part of the reason I’m so uninterested in celebrating somebody who’s famous – like a Barbara Bush – because I don’t need to talk about how extraordinary an amazing unbelievable she was. Those people are all around me in my real world that I see when I open my front door.

It’s obsession with what we see on the TV. We think that’s what we should celebrate. So we fist pump and cheer with Tiger Woods, But ignore the accomplishments and contributions of our friends and neighbors.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/23/2018 08:38AM by jay.

Have a garage sale to get all the riff raff out.

Then use the money to hire a crew to do all the heavy cleaning.

That's a great idea too. Now the weather is getting warmer it would be a good way to spend an afternoon or two.

I've been donating lots of stuff to Salvation Army and Goodwill these past few years. Rather than selling it from my yard, instead I've claimed my donations as a tax deduction on my itemized Schedule A. Things like heavy furniture too, not just household goods or clothing.

The money from a yard sale would be a bonus.

SHe Never Does It

There is that. :)

someone has dirtied some laundry, there is dust in no time flat.

I tend to be OCD and I have to force myself to stop cleaning. I think I have to remove every little piece of dust or dirt. I have a lot less energy than I did when I was younger, so I do what I can. I go around the house all morning telling my dogs how I wish someone would clean the house. I don't let things get too bad, but the deep cleaning often doesn't get done, like cleaning the floor or dusting the piano. I dusted the front room while I was talking to my brother when he came over the other day.

I am SURE that when I die, my house will not be very clean and my kids will have to clean it out. AND they will have to sort through my junk and toss it.

I tend to be OCD when I get into whatever it is I'm doing. I love order and neatness. But I'm so used to the "lived in" look that I wouldn't know how to be if my house was really in tip top shape.

My kids won't have any problem cleaning out my stuff when I die. They'll either pitch it or have an estate sale (or both.)

Hopefully at least one of them is a sentimentalist like me, and will preserve family heirlooms for future posterity.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2018 07:15PM by Amyjo.

Amy, did you ever clean up for Passover? I know that’s very through, even getting rid of a lot of food temporarily.I like the way they “ sell” it , then “buy “ it back.

Hockeyrat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Amy, did you ever clean up for Passover? I know
> that’s very through, even getting rid of a lot
> of food temporarily.I like the way they “
> sell” it , then “buy “ it back.

No, thank goodness. I made matzah bread one time though for a passover seder. Will never do that again. Too messy. The dinners I've been to were catered the first two times. The second was by invitation to a family from my synagogue. I brought the wine. It was a retiree's couple and their family there with friends. By the time the guests were leaving the family was still noshing.

I'm not very kosher if at all. Since I wasn't raised that way it is hard to start now. I know some 80+ year old BIC Jewish marms who have told me they aren't kosher either even though their parents were. It's observed by some, not so much by others. But the passover dinner is a tradition observed whether secular or observant among Jews.

That’s good then that some Jews aren’t Kosher then. Is that common, or just in the reform movements? I like the conservative view more, but I’m not sure how kosher they are all a whole congregation. I know a lot of it depends on the Rabbi. Funny thing is, ever since I was a kid, I wouldn’t eat ham, bacon, sausage, pork chops, lobster , shrimp, no shellfish. I don’t like lamb either though, and I know that’s in a lot of recipes.
In fact, I and my husband never celebrate Christmas of Easter anyway, so a lot of things wouldn’t bother me.’
Just trying to find out more about my newly discovered Jewish heritage. It’s hard because my dad was adapted and only knew his birth parents by their last names.
He always assumed his birth mom was German.
He died before I knew about ancestry DNA, but I did me and my mom’s. She had a small percentage of Jewish too, but it was under “ Trace” amounts,
Mine had a lot more, plus all of the Eastern Countries and the Southern part of Germany and Austria were in mine, that wasn’t in my mom’s.
I don’t think anyone eats the lamb shank bone ( can’t remember what it’s called)though at Passover. So, reform Jews don’t do the whole house cleaning thing?
I’d have no problem not eating certain foods, but would with having 2 kitchens, especially with a husband who likes shellfish

Hockeyrat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That’s good then that some Jews aren’t Kosher
> then. Is that common, or just in the reform
> movements? I like the conservative view more, but
> I’m not sure how kosher they are all a whole
> congregation. I know a lot of it depends on the
> Rabbi.

I actually practice Conservative, not Reform. Reform is too liberal for me.

Conservative is "middle of the road," between Reform and Orthodox.


Funny thing is, ever since I was a kid, I
> wouldn’t eat ham, bacon, sausage, pork chops,
> lobster , shrimp, no shellfish. I don’t like
> lamb either though, and I know that’s in a lot
> of recipes.
> In fact, I and my husband never celebrate
> Christmas of Easter anyway, so a lot of things
> wouldn’t bother me.’

I've cut way back on eating ham and bacon. But still occasionally do. Shellfish is also a struggle for me because I love shrimp and NE clam chowder.

> Just trying to find out more about my newly
> discovered Jewish heritage. It’s hard because my
> dad was adapted and only knew his birth parents by
> their last names.
> He always assumed his birth mom was German.
> He died before I knew about ancestry DNA, but I
> did me and my mom’s. She had a small percentage
> of Jewish too, but it was under “ Trace”
> amounts,
> Mine had a lot more, plus all of the Eastern
> Countries and the Southern part of Germany and
> Austria were in mine, that wasn’t in my
> mom’s.

It sounds like your Ashkenazi is from your father's side then? That is exciting to learn about. :)

> I don’t think anyone eats the lamb shank bone (
> can’t remember what it’s called)though at
> Passover. So, reform Jews don’t do the whole
> house cleaning thing?
> I’d have no problem not eating certain foods,
> but would with having 2 kitchens, especially with
> a husband who likes shellfish

I don't know anyone who has two kitchens. Even when I worked for a Conservative kosher Jewish family before going to college one summer in Westchester, NY ... they were very kosher but didn't keep two kitchens. The matriarch of the home taught me several of her recipes for feeding her family. She was very modern day Millie in that regards. She liked to keep things simple. She did make lamb stew. That was her special recipe. It gave me a stomach ache from the fat in the broth though.

That was before I'd learned I was fully Jewish myself, or rather before the significance of it had sunk in. A rabbi had told my grandmother and me when I was 14 in Salt Lake City we were both fully Jewish because her mother was. But when you're a Mormon BIC TBM, it didn't really register with me until I was much older.

This is what I could find on the lamb shank:

"A roasted lamb shank bone, known as the zeroa (also spelled zeroah or z'roah), is placed on the seder plate at Passover. It symbolizes the two lambs that were sacrificed on the eve of the ancient Jews' exodus from Egypt. A lamb was sacrificed on the afternoon before Passover in subsequent years.Aug 14, 2017"
How to Roast a Shank Bone for Passover | LIVESTRONG.COM
https://www.livestrong.com/article/475859-how-to-roast-a-shank-bone-for-passover/

what to put in my casket with me as I know they won't want to keep some treasures of mine and I don't want them tossed. I had picked out things from the dogs and my daughter asked me, "What about us?" I found something I don't want going in the trash and she knows what it is that is about them. Not a crazy pile of junk, but very valued to me.

I've done a lot of decluttering in the past few years of things I knew they wouldn't want to keep like Christmas decorations, etc.

I try to concentrate on one area at a time. I used to do the whole house in one day. I can't any longer. My bedroom has that lived-in look as I work in my bedroom, too. I moved in here so people would leave me alone while I work. All the office stuff will be gone once I retire.

Both my ex and my boyfriend consider most things women's work in terms of housekeeping. I gave up doing my boyfriend's house and only clean it when he has his kids coming to visit. My ex takes care of his space downstairs, but you should see the dust. I suggested to my daughter that we dust down there and she said absolutely not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2018 11:11PM by cl2.

Who said it's woman's work?

In (the real) my ['singles] world', we do it all.

I don't mind cleaning up after others, usually, and household chores, but we live crazy, wild, 'freak-range' tame lives, are impatient, and many, artists, hobbiests, professionals, collectors, bookies, perfectionists. etc., so, naturally want things a certain way, even if they take more work.

I don't know.
We humans...

M@t

I thought someone would point that out that it isn't only a woman's preoccupation.

I was coming from a woman's perspective on the other hand.

Phyllis Diller used to joke "Cleaning your house while the children are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

It was my motto when my children were young, that and "housework can wait, but babies grow up."

At least those days are behind me now (but I miss when my children were children.)

Thanks

I'm just trying to do the right thing.

I appear as a man.
I don't know what I'll be when I die (I'd say somewhere in my 90's).

M@t

No, a women’s work is never done. I do a little a day. There is a lot of cleaning tips in magazines, but a lot of us still like to ask others for first hand accounts, to see what works for them first. I’d try what someone here would tell me that works , over the Internet, which each site you’re on , swears by something else.
My husband has a computer, but I never use it. I have an I phone, that I always keep next to me, so I text between commercials, between doing things, when I can’t sleep, which is probably what Amy’s doing.
I even see young people texting at a restaurant table, where they’re not even talking to each other , as much as their I phones, now that’s bad

Thanks Hockeyrat.

I do appreciate feedback. Sometimes it helps knowing how others tackle or counter their housework.

Don't know why anyone would remark about my time online. I'm about as wired as most people I know on the Internet. Certainly not the exception.

To see crap from hell to breakfast is more than I can endure. It makes me PHYSICALLY ILL and DEPRESSED to see disarray. My son is the same way.

OCD?
Suits me.

A man's work is never done either.

I like to tackle cleaning and organizing one room at a time. There is a feeling of some completion there. If I try to do the whole house at once, it backfires on me. : )
Amyjo, I'm hoping for your complete recovery from breast cancer and sending you big cyber hugs from this MexMom.

MexMom Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I like to tackle cleaning and organizing one room
> at a time. There is a feeling of some completion
> there. If I try to do the whole house at once, it
> backfires on me. : )

Same here!

> Amyjo, I'm hoping for your complete recovery from
> breast cancer and sending you big cyber hugs from
> this MexMom.

Thank you so much. :)

Amyjo, it just dawned on me that there is a charity for women who are battling cancer that focuses on house cleaning. It might be worth a look.

http://cleaningforareason.org/

I may need that someday myself. Thanks Summer.

For now I'm hoping that I've been cured, if there is such a thing.

:)

A homeowner's work is never done.

Move to a condo.

End of story.

Either housework or condo fees?

I'll end up with both if I go into a condo.

Except for the yardwork and external building that's included in the HOA.

Except for when you have to replace your HVAC, or hot water heater, or an appliance, or your carpet, etc.

At least I don't have to mow the lawn! :)

Entropy.

Decreasing order in any one part of the universe increases it in another.

p.s. why is housecleaning "woman's work?"

An artist, dreamer, thinker, writer, visionary, collector, dealer, inventor, activist, musician, farmer, lover...

Have the same 'problem'.

Best - and blessed - Amyjo~

M@t

Tankoo.

You likewise. :)