Date: May 02, 2018 02:01PM
Yesterday I was home in the middle of the day. I work very part-time, as I have young ones at home. My nevermo husband was here working from home. I see a car pull up in front of my house with the tale-tell bike rack on the trunk. I see the 'men' in white shirts get out. I go back to what I was doing, vacuuming. I hear a bang on the door and then the doorbell and hubby comes out of his office and gives me a questioning look. I said, 'It's missionaries (again) and I'm not answering the door'. He then goes and answers the door. They ask for me by name. He says, 'she doesn't want to talk to you'. They then say to him, 'well who are you??'. He says, 'I'm her husband.' So they leave the house, but the car stays parked in front of my house for at least an hour! It was a little warm to be sitting in a parked car with the windows up for that long, so I'm guessing they just went across the street to my super-TBM neighbor's house. Joy. They no doubt told her all about it. Not that I care, but that makes her involved and I try and keep things light and civil, as good neighbors do. On the other hand, they are at her house alllllll the time, so I'm guessing she has a hand in their visiting me.
I have lived in this house for only 3 years and I have had more unannounced visits from missionaries than ever before. Does it help that I live in the 'ward boundaries' of my super-TBM parents and sister? No. Or that my dad is presently the ward clerk? Nope. I quit this church 20 years ago when I moved out of my parent's house (same house they still are in now). I knew it would be a pain in the tail to move back to this area, knowing it's my parent's ward. But I wasn't going to let that stop me from moving to a nicer neighborhood than we were previously in, a super short commute for my husband, and (most importantly) better schools for our children.
Luckily my husband is nevermo, as are our children. When we moved here, my father very proudly read my name in during Sacrament meeting as a new ward member and then told me about it very non-chalantly (probably to gauge my reaction). Ever since then, I've been on everyone's radar. Missionaries are stopping by all the time. It feels so invasive! I've had enough. Yesterday's 'visit' severely triggered me and I was just angry. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of being harassed. I'm tired of being the ward reactivation project. I live in a small community, so everyone who is Mormon seems to know who I am and that I need 'fellowshipping' or 'ministering' or whatever they call it. I went inactive 20 years ago and moved around a bunch. They always found me RIGHT AWAY. My parents treated me like dirt when I left. They made my life a living hell and tried to turn all of my siblings against me. My best friend at the time also moved out and stopped going to church and I remember saying to her on the phone, 'wow it feels like I'm trying to escape a gang or something!' Unfortunately that friend found her way back and is more TBM than ever.
I stumbled upon RfM about 2 years ago when I came to a horrible conclusion that my parents were trying to suck my daughter into their cult. I hated Mormonism my whole life, so I just left it. But after I found this site, all of my shelf items, etc. finally made sense. It was shock, horror, and relief.
I have had hesitation to resign only because of the social ramifications. My parents are going to lose their minds. If I lived in a different state, or even different town it would be easier. But dad is the ward clerk. He will be finding out about this not from me. Also, I run into Mos that know me all the damn time. Parents at my daughter's school, parents at my son's preschool, running into people in stores, etc. I'm afraid of character assassination, as that is the only thing they have over me. But I don't care anymore. If they start the character assassination it will just only prove my point that this is a damaging cult that I want NO part of. I'm not going to live in fear. I'm not going to let other people's feelings dictate my life choices.
So, I did it. I sent the resignation e-mail. My older brother resigned a few years ago, so I can't wait to tell him. Now I'm just waiting for the shit-storm to start from the family and the shunning to start from all the Mos in the area. Stay tuned....