So, I haven't posted or visited here in forever.

I left the church maybe 4 years ago, got over some TBM loser I was hung up about last time I posted...

And despite all the threats that my blessings would be revoked or some sh*t, my life is actually so much better without Mormonism in it.

I'm actually a flight attendant now...traveling all over the place and having fun. (I was astounded by the number of flight attendants in my YSA branch during my Mormon days. I don't think I myself ever could have gotten through the stresses of ground school, with the thorn of Mormonism jammed into my side.)

Anyway, I have to rant.

I still have a small handful of TBMs in my life, who are good people.

One of them had a birthday party a couple of weeks ago. Not a huge event, but a good number of people showed up. Almost all of the guests from my former YSA branch...though most of them are now in family wards, and have started replenishing the earth.

It was good to go to this party, because it helped me realize how "over it" I really am.

Like, seeing these people did not really invoke positive or negative feelings one way or another.

But one thing really did burn my @$$:

20 guests...

AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO BROUGHT A PRESENT!!!! OR EVEN A CARD!!!!

Maybe a year or two ago, I got invited to a TBM friend's housewarming party.

And again...

I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO BROUGHT A GIFT!!!

Now I am the cheapest of all cheap@sses.

I haven't bought toilet paper since ground school, because I lift rolls from the hotels when I go on layovers. Nor have I bought soap or shampoo since then.

I hustle extra food from the continental breakfast bars, and turn continental breakfast into Continental Second Breakfast, Continental Elevensies, and Continental Afternoon Tea.

I fly more than anybody in my base, and still have a flip-phone.

I pack cans of Spaghetti-Ohs in my lunch sack, and eat them straight out of the can, much to the horror and disgust of many coworkers.

I ride my bike everywhere when I'm home.

When I get that sweet layover in Long Island....my fellow flight attendants go to the Tanger Outlets, and I go to the Salvation Army down the street.

Pilots are believed to be bigger cheap@sses than FAs, and they come to me for lessons!

Anyway, my point is, despite all of this, my cheap a$$ STILL buys a present when I'm invited to a party!

This is the third time I've been to a mostly Mormon party, and been the solitary gift giver.

Is this common practice? Because if so, this is by far, one of the most f*cked up things Mormons do, IMO.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2018 01:06PM by godtoldmetorun.

I have also heard from family members who work in the service industry that mormons are very cheap tippers.

Among the many things my wife has done professionally is catering, baking, and cake decorating. She has often baked cakes gratis for family and close friends, and has baked and decorated for ward members and acquaintances at cost.

She is almost to the point of refusing to cater/bake/decorate for any Mormons because they increasingly expect her to do it for free simply because they are Mormon.

I earned money as a musician while I was in high school, college, and med school. Mormons were the very worst about expecting musicians to perform free of charge at their events. The official policy of the LDS church is that musicians are not paid for any services performed at the church. While I still think it is taking advantage, I can accept it. They think the policy applies to them for events or services held elsewhere, and they play dumb in that regard to avoid paying musicians. I've been asked to play at weddings and funerals held at funeral homes or other non-LDS-church venues by Mormons I do know for people I've never met. They sometimes requested songs or hymns I've never even heard of before for which there is no printed music by listening to them several times. They never offer to pay, and when they're asked for money, they play the Mormon card even if it's not a Mormon function. I learned to be direct in asking for payment, but even then they tried to stiff me. I eventually learned that the only way to guarantee payment was to demand payment before the events and to walk out and leave them high and dry if they refused. I hated holding music hostage in that manner, but I had bills which wouldn't have been paid if I spent my time performing freebies for all the cheap Mormons out there.

Now that money is no longer such an issue, I still hold out on principle. I play for an occasional funeral or even church service there, but for anything else including a non-temple LDS wedding or LDS reception, if they want my services, they pay. I reserve the right to comp an event for a friend or family member, but it's my decision to decline payment rather than the right of the consumer to withhold it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2018 10:54AM by scmd1.

If you can't afford basic items we all buy, I'd say you can't afford to give gifts.

I wouldn’t. It’s a fucking hotel. That shit is built into the price of the room.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have a warped ethical perspective, but I consider taking things from businesses that no doubt have a largesse that extends into the billions nowhere near on the same order of taking things from people.

Stealing TVs and stuff from hotels is one thing but toilet paper and shampoo? They expect you to either take or use that stuff anyway.

It’s thriftier than I am, but I do not begrudge your thriftiness in the slightest.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2018 03:45PM by midwestanon.

I would also like to reinstate that most hotels do expect you to take stuff like shampoo and soaps, they are considered a gift for your stay.

midwestanon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I would also like to reinstate that most hotels do
> expect you to take stuff like shampoo and soaps,
> they are considered a gift for your stay.

My family is in the hotel business. In many countries, the staff is on such tight schedules that they will throw away your soap and shampoo and lots of other items without even checking if it was used or not. It's just quicker to bin it with one hand while replacing it with the other than to take the time if it could still be used by the same guest, let alone the next.

So yes, take everything you want.

Maybe they can't afford gifts because they don't steal from hotels? Just a thought.

rim shot

Mormons already tip their so-called church 10% of their income.

If they are also raising a family you can bet there is not much $ left over for gifts.
Not even enough $ to show up with a box of wine or a can of cheese, lol.

Eating spaghetti-o’s straight from the can is what I can’t get past!

Aggravated my mom no end. But then my Mom had been a waitress and the in-law hadn't.

With the 10% tithe, on top of having young children, there is probably not enough left over. I would either do as your friends do, and not give a gift, or keep it under $10.

I'm glad that you are enjoying being a flight attendant! I used to want to do that very badly. However when I graduated from college the airlines were going through tough times, and were not hiring. I moved on and did other things. Are you able to afford to have your own place, or do you have roommates? I've heard that many times a number of FAs will share an apartment -- since they are constantly coming and going, they're never all home at the same time anyway.

"Stealing" toilet paper with which somebody else was going to wipe their *ss and throw down the toilet anyway?

It would be another story if I were taking towels.

I like the comment that I can't afford presents, because I cut corners with my finances. Because even though money is tight for a new FA, and was even more so when I was down on my luck enough to think that joining the church was a solution to complex problems....

I had the basic decency to know that, when you go to a party, bring a gift. And don't use poverty or kids as an excuse. If you can't bring a present, or even a card, don't go. I grew up in a poor Catholic family with many kids...we would NEVER show up to a party without a gift. And I'm astounded that such a philosophy doesn't translate in Mormon culture.

I had a brain enough to never give 10% of my income to that church, even in my most TBM moment. And dodged a huge bullet in terms of marrying a returned missionary and shackling myself further to the church.


But whatever.

Insult me and remind me why I've not only recovered from Mormonism, but more importantly, I've just now officially recovered from recovering from Mormonism.

Also, thanks for reminding me that the most self-righteous of all Mormons, are often the "recovering" ones.

My recovery = complete.

Thanks, and good luck.

https://tenor.com/view/byefelicia-pocahontas-gif-4083829



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2018 03:48PM by godtoldmetorun.

godtoldmetorun Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It would be another story if I were taking
> towels.

So it's the money value of the thing being stolen that determines if it's ok to steal it or not?

Look, I get your main premise above -- and yeah, lots of mormons are cheap, and lots of mormons lack the kind of "social skills" that other people consider normal and proper. It's a valid observation.

But as for the toilet paper...stealing is stealing. Whether it's a $20 towel or a $0.99 role of TP. Is it a "big deal?" Up to you to decide. But let's not pretend it's not stealing.

I know you're concerned, so hopefully, this will help you sleep nights: when I spend the night at a hotel, I leave a new roll of TP, just because I figure it's the right thing to do.

Plus I always leave $2 per night for the maids, many of whom have told me that they supplement their meager incomes by borrowing toilet paper and other items, and then never returning them.

So by leaving my tip, maybe they won't need to borrow anything that day, so that's a double win for me and my righteousness.

godtoldmetorun Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Stealing" toilet paper with which somebody else
> was going to wipe their *ss and throw down the
> toilet anyway?
>
> It would be another story if I were taking
> towels.
>
> I like the comment that I can't afford presents,
> because I cut corners with my finances. Because
> even though money is tight for a new FA, and was
> even more so when I was down on my luck enough to
> think that joining the church was a solution to
> complex problems....
>
> I had the basic decency to know that, when you go
> to a party, bring a gift. And don't use poverty
> or kids as an excuse. If you can't bring a
> present, or even a card, don't go. I grew up in a
> poor Catholic family with many kids...we would
> NEVER show up to a party without a gift. And I'm
> astounded that such a philosophy doesn't translate
> in Mormon culture.
>
> I had a brain enough to never give 10% of my
> income to that church, even in my most TBM moment.
> And dodged a huge bullet in terms of marrying a
> returned missionary and shackling myself further
> to the church.
>
>
> But whatever.
>
> Insult me and remind me why I've not only
> recovered from Mormonism, but more importantly,
> I've just now officially recovered from recovering
> from Mormonism.
>
> Also, thanks for reminding me that the most
> self-righteous of all Mormons, are often the
> "recovering" ones.
>
> My recovery = complete.
>
> Thanks, and good luck.
>
> https://tenor.com/view/byefelicia-pocahontas-gif-4
> 083829

No need to defend yourself. I sit on the other side of the cockpit door and don't think I have bought a writing utensil in 20 years. Never taken the toilet paper, but shampoos, soaps, notepads, and coffees (even before I left the church...) all come home with me.

Airline crew spend half our lives living in hotels, away from family and friends, often on holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. We frequently miss the big game, or the recital, or the parent-teacher conference. No need to feel bad about taking home a disposable item that was for your use anyway.

So the cheapness is understandable.

The cheapness is not defensible, but I sort of get it that the stay at home mom saves money however she can. The answer in my example, is not to go out to dinner when you can't afford to tip.

laperla not logged in Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The cheapness is not defensible, but I sort of get
> it that the stay at home mom saves money however
> she can. The answer in my example, is not to go
> out to dinner when you can't afford to tip.

Even in my poor days, I didn't go out to dinner unless I had enough money to leave a standard tip.

uh, what just happened??

without a gift and my parents didn't have a lot of money.

Even when I was an extremely poor single mother, I would NEVER have sent my kids to a party without a gift.

AND if I'm invited and I can't go, I leave a gift.

I'm not so concerned about the OP taking the toilet paper. I think my ex does. I take the shampoo and soap if I like them. Otherwise, I don't, but my ex does.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2018 04:31PM by cl2.

If the shampoo, lotion etc was opened you may as well take it. The maid will throw it out. They can't leave partially used bottles in the room for health and safety reasons.

If people are into lifting toilet paper, soap, and shampoo from hotels, they should keep quiet and not mention it on forums like this.

However, there is one exception. I don't mind if she lifts them from the Marriot! I hope she leaves a "Happy Ex-Mo" note in the Bom while she's there taking their stuff.

I think you are classy to bring house warming gifts, birthday gifts etc when invited.

I believe that many learn early on that they have to borrow because Mormon homes give more to their church. I still resent being ordered by my LDS scoutmaster to confront the non LDS troop that had walked off with a worn and frayed section of rope. We Mormon scouts looked beyond petty that day.

My daughter worked her first summer cleaning rooms at a Princess lodge up by Denali (Mt. McKinley). She had never heard of leaving tips for housekeepers and she sure loved that MOST people left tips. So now we always leave tips, too. I'm glad saucie's boyfriend mentioned that. ha ha ha

My daughter then drove buses for Princess and I didn't know you should tip your bus driver. She made A LOT of money from tips. Almost 1/3 of her regular pay.

Now she's a supervisor. She misses the tips.

"Scotch Thrift". My wife calls it "Frigid Wallet". As I read through OPs list of cost saving measures, I was like "Did that, did that, so did that. Toilet paper? Never did it before but I'm gonna start doing it now." Somehow I feel my ass will feel cleaner if I didn't pay for the toilet paper.