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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 11:58AM

One of the best questions we can ask a TBM is—if the Church was not true, would you really want to know?

I confess that in my 20s I started seeing evidence that it was all a fraud, but quickly avoided facing the reality that I was deceived. I was in a great ward and having a lot of fun. I had drunk the Kool-Aid and couldn’t imagine a life without Mormonism.

In retrospect, I have long forgiven my younger, naive self for being enculturated into a cult.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 12:01PM

starts bugging him about the church, he asks her that question and she says she doesn't want to know.

I probably wouldn't have wanted to know UP UNTIL I found out the boyfriend/eventual husband was gay. I needed someone to tell me something I could trust, but I didn't know who to go to back in 1983. Instinctively, I knew there was a lot wrong with what they were telling me, but they told me not to talk to anyone else about the situation. Well, now I know why. I would have LOVED TO KNOW it wasn't true at that point in my life, for anyone to have suggested it to me.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 02:57PM

I actually thought about posting that question on my FB page a while back, where my mormon friends/family could see it. I thought it would be interesting to see their responses (or if they responded at all).

Then I saw that one of my nephews who had left the church posted something about Smith and 14 year-old "wives." And the mormon friends/family we share had basically two reactions: call him all sorts of nasty "anti" names and rip him for giving into Satan since he left...or de-friend him.

I decided, after seeing that, it wasn't worth the trouble.
And that the answer for most of them probably is "No, I wouldn't want to know." :(

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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 03:31PM

I asked my wife this question after seeing it posed here a couple years ago. She stated that she wouldn't want to know.

She likened it to Schrödinger's cat; saying that, until she attempted to prove it one way or the other, it could remain whatever she wished it to be.

Right now, she wishes it to be true.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 03:54PM

My wife as well keeps a dead cat-in-the-box thinking it is alive and well and keeps feeding it.

I'd be knee deep in cat food if it wasn't for my wife thinking that the stinking and rotting cat food was cat shit.

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Posted by: mightybuffalo ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 04:40PM

I feel like the majority of my member friends wouldn't want to know the truth, which used to baffle me. Now I kind of get it, having left the church and losing my spouse over it.

IT's hard to know the truth. And a lot is at risk, socially speaking, by searching for it. They'll never out right say that leaving the church is a good reason to divorce or defriend or whatever, but I think it is a subconscious concern that prevents serious truth seeking in a lot of ways.

For some, like GregS's wife, it seems it conscientious. They probably consider themselves happy and delighted in one way or another-- enough not to worry about whether or not life could get any better outside the bubble mindset.

"If it's comfort and peace, in religion you seek, and it makes you feel whole, then it worked, dontcha think?" -Joshua James

My guess is anyone who doesn't want to know if its a lie feels whole with a dash of comfort and a sprinkle of peace.

I sure didn't after a certain point, and that's when I actually wanted to know.

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Posted by: lisadee ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 05:03PM

Reminds me of a story an older friend told me years ago...The husband of a friend of hers was having an affair. Another female friend told the wife and the wife got mad at the woman who told her. Stopped speaking to the woman completely.


When you snatch away a petson's denial, things can get ugly.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 07:25PM

Edit: spelling error, oops!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/13/2018 07:26PM by caffiend.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 07:44PM

Not only do they not want to know, they go to great lengths to avoid the obvious.

It was exhausting trying to explain everything away.

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Posted by: Ex-CultMember ( )
Date: September 13, 2018 09:21PM

I guess I can respect a Mormon's choice to not want to know if the church is true or not, but then they also should respect YOUR decision to WANT to know.

I don't get Mormons who say they don't want to know if the church is a lie (basically admitting it might the church may not be true) but then they turn around and give us a hard time for leaving the church.

They can't have their cake and eat it. If they aren't willing to look at the evidence because they are okay living a lie, they can't expect those of us who DO want to know the truth to live a lie too.

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Posted by: badam2 ( )
Date: September 14, 2018 03:54AM

A part of me still wants to believe some of the fantasy, they got a lot wrong but some things make me really think. I do think I existed somewhere else before I was born. It was better than here and that's what sucks.

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Posted by: Alan Robinson ( )
Date: September 14, 2018 04:49AM

LDS Believe The glory of God is Intelligence.

And what I find to be absolutely fascinating is that most if not all on here believed in the church so much that they eagerly searched for further truth and knowledge. Using our God given Intelligence.

The end result being it did indeed lead us to the truth. So mission accomplished.

In reality I see most LDS members as victims and as with most things the pain and consequence of leaving is greater than ignoring the truth and staying.

Unfortunately though as a result of staying they then project their own doubts and insecurities on to those of us that leave.

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