While there are surely myriad indications that Mormonism is no longer an irritating burr festering in one’s life, I’ve recently noticed that my personal indicator is the fact that nothing on the RfM webpage interests me anymore; I guess I just don’t need the reaffirmation any longer. Hey, lucky me!

Funny how I thought I was 'over' Mormonism for years before finding RfM.

Mormonism has done damage to family relations and members that have lasted a lifetime. In ways it is refreshing that RfM is here and has been online for 22 years and going strong. It is cathartic to be able to speak out against a religion publicly and share similar viewpoints with others who left, like us.

I hadn't found any such support system where I reside in upstate NY before finding RfM online.

I'm thankful it's here for any who need it.

Good luck and best wishes on your journey !

What would be real cathartic would be to drive to Hill Cumorah and Google rfm from there, lol

Just because you're so close.

My children attended college near Hill Cumorah. We never did go there as a family. No desire to take them there. I didn't want to subject them to further brainwashing than we already had been as a family.

Getting completely over it may never happen, but waving to the bishop in the grocery store, while not caring to hide the bottle of wine and 12 pack of beer in the cart, is a good sign.

In my case, not caring that the missionaries on their P-day see the coffee and wine in my basket at the local Trader Joe's is a sign I'm over Mormonism. There's a missionary apartment in my neighborhood so I see them occasionally on their bikes as I'm returning from work, or on their P-day shopping. They know to leave me alone and have done so for a few years now.

...or, would enrolling in AA mean you are finally over Mormonism?

Mormonism leads people to alcohol. Painkillers, etc.

Where's a detox program for MM? Oh wait, it's RfM. ;-)

Like several others who have already chimed in, a big step for me was not trying to hide my rejection of the WoW. It took years, but now when my TBM family comes to visit I go right ahead and fix coffee in the morning or have a glass of wine with dinner if I want to. They never say anything to me about it, so I guess we've all made some progress!

I won't drink coffee at their homes, as they don't keep it anyhow.

But they won't stop me from having it on my own dime, or time. When visiting cousin for brother's funeral recently I let her know that I drink coffee to stay awake while driving long distances. She was fine with that, since I was doing the driving.

:)

If you live in Utah, I can't see anyone there ever really getting over Mormonism. Even here in Arizona, traces of it show up in my life from time to time, from sources outside of myself, and when it does, it's unpleasant for me. I don't care what anyone thinks about me or what I do or do not believe when it comes to religion. I just don't like dealing with those paradigms. When the world is free of all of the lies of Mormonism (will never happen in my lifetime), I'll get over it. Until then, I'll keep my guard up.

My maternal grandmother was a never Mo who lived in SLC until she was six, then orphaned, and sent to Menlo Park to be raised by Protestant aunts. When my mother was born in the Bay area, Grandma and Grandpa moved to Utah where his job took him with the Union Pacific Railroad. They spent the remainder of their adult lives living in the Morridor.

It didn't slow them down any. Grandmother never felt impinged on by her LDS neighbors. She always had lots of friends, social activities, and her own interests that kept her active and a vital member of her community (and her family.)

She was one of the most interesting people I've known. It was an honor and a privilege to call her my grandmother.

There was a Mormon meeting house on the corner of the block where she lived. It only became utilized by us, her grandchildren, when we came to visit. She only noticed it in passing. :)

I hear you.
I thought the same, then some stupid random thing smacks me and I'm mad and frustrated and want to throttle the old man leaders all over again.

The Mormon culture saturates everything in Utah; while it's gotten a little better during the past couple years, it's still inevitable, for example, that when you're eating out, you are going to hear someone talking about a missionary, some stake president, or the latest and the greatest in their "ward". Utah is a theocracy but it is easier to deal with now that me and some of my family have resigned.

so true, Utah and parts of Idaho,

Every time I go visit my mom I'm amazed at what they sell at Walmart. Yes, Walmart, they have a Deseret bookshop going in there as well as the clothes that are what I like to call Mormon uniforms.

It is so weird. Only in Utah or Idaho.

I'm not sure that I'll ever be completely "over it" in this lifetime. From age 0 to about 23, I was totally immersed in it from day 1. Grew up in a devout Mormon family, especially devout mom, surrounded by an extended family of grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. who were all Mormons. Closest friends in elementary school, junior high school, high school, university...yep...almost all Mormons.

I no longer really need reaffirmation per se. But I don't think I'll ever completely lose interest. It's such a big part of me.

It's not just the aspect of once having been a believer, but, perhaps more importantly, the process I went through in thinking myself out of it all. Just that process alone is worth contemplating.

For me it wasn't a case of it being easier not to be Mormon. For me, the process of leaving Mormonism meant losing friends, losing my community, losing the feeling of 'having something in common' with all the people I grew up with.

Still staying in touch with some of my closest friends, but can't really share and celebrate all of their Mormon "milestones" (temple marriage, being bishops, stake presidents, having kids married in the temple, going on missions...). I can tell that they view me as having a major defect in my soul.

Even as a kid, I often felt like there was something wrong with me. I wanted to believe like everyone else and made a good effort. But I couldn't make myself unsee the problems I kept seeing. I could never see the "Emperor's New Clothes". I just kept seeing the Emperor's flabby, naked body on full display.

All that said, I kind of know what you're saying. I've gone through periods of several years at a time where I didn't really care or think about these things. Most recently, I think I went for a period of about 7 years without visiting this board or any other exmo-related websites. Too busy with other things.

Ran into some missionaries a year ago and, it having been a long time, decided to hear them out just to see if any of it would make any sense or have any appeal if I listened to it again after not having thought about it for years. Answer: It didn't. I don't think they got more than 2 sentences into their spiel before the illogical assumptions, presumptions and contradictions began revealing themselves once again and it all came flooding back. That led me to once again feel like delving into the ongoing discussion at sites like this.

Additionally, aside from any therapeutic value I get from re-examining my erstwhile beliefs, I think Mormonism and why people believe it is an endlessly fascinating subject and a way of examining important aspects of human psychology.

I get this so completely.

I left, kids and husband stayed.

I regret every single thing about the church.

You understand...
It is under you
Beneath you
Lower than you

... over the rainbow