Didn't answer the phone tonight. It was from Mom of course. Figured it was about my sister. It's been a rough weekend and I didn't need to talk with her. OK. Now we try the cell phone. I'm getting a text. Yep, she learned how to do it. Darn. Pick up the phone this is important.

So the phone rings, now Storm is grinning and I amswer it and Mom just starts in.

First of all all her RS buddies watched the Tony's to see if that awful musical the Book of Mormon would win anything. She was absolutely livid. How could anyone make fun of major world religion. Ah. Mom with max 14,000,000 it's hardly a major religion. Yes it is she says. OK. It was in poor taste to do that to the hard working missionaries who give up 2 years of their lives for the church. I know Mom, biggest waste of time of my life. SILENCE. Mom, you still there? Yes. Well I'm sorry you feel this way about your missionary experience. It wasn't cheap you know. I know, I paid for most of it, remember. NO, you didn't. Ok.

Non Mormons are laughing at us. You think? Wouldn't you? I told her, I bet they are googling all the temple ceremonies as we speak. I told wait til they get to the garments. They will think this is a weird cult. Well, the women wear burkas in Islam. Good comparions Mom. She said how silly is that in the desert, they're black and there's a grill over their faces. I told about as silly as magic undies. SILENCE.

Well she said, that's your entire problem. Satan got to you when you took them off. What? That's what happened. You didn't have a temple rec, so you didn't see your brother or sister get married. Whoa! I was too young when my brother got married and on my mission when my sister got married and they wouldn't let me come home. Not even when grandma died. I didn't get to come home. Remember that? No. Talk about blocking out the world if it doesn't fit what she wants. What an expert she is.

And she said, your taking off your garments and marrying a non believer and a Catholic specifically was instrumental in your sister doubting the church. She never did that before.

Mom she's tired of being a second class citizen worth nothing more than having children for Zion.

Then I said, I can't talk with you any more you're not making any sense. I'm hanging up now.

After I told storm what she said. Well, that's no surprise Jake, she will always think that way. Agree to disagree. And don't answer the phone. Take it off the hook, you have a pager if they need you in the ER. Take a break from your Mother, I am

Jake

Can't you just point out that supposedly if SHE'S faithful her children will get to CK so why doesn't she just chill?

Just a thought. :)

Ah, if only it was that easy..she wants them all back in the fold to insure the ck.

Stupid cult..and I'm banging my garbage can.

stormy

I would refuse to talk to her when she starts on the church or anything related to it including your sisters leaving. Remind her that the subject is off limits and if she keeps it up, hang up.Hopefully she will get the hint.If she wants to bitch about the BOM musical, let her find some TBMs who agree with her.

Jake was furious with her and himself for listening to her drivel. He forgot to mention in Saudi Arabia female births aren't even recorded and when they die, well they are often buried in shallow graves in the desert and their deaths aren't recorded either. They simply don't exist at all. They are invisible. Is that that what she wants for her only daughter to be invisible her whole life? Guess so.

I won't deal with her, as was said, she isn't my mother. Jake won't either very soon. It's a hard habit to break since she is his Mother.

He's swimming now...laps...energy burner. We share that trait.

stormy

"getting better"...hehehe....no really.... oh well hard to shake off all that indoctrination! swimming??? i was a competitive swimmer and water polo player.... for many years.... best exercise for your body! no stress on your joints!! anyway good luck guys! :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2011 09:03AM by bignevermo.

I think the best thing to do is tell her t hat the church is off limits and that you or Jake will hang up when she brings it up. Then you need to do it.You can remind her once. Say, "Mom, lets change the subject. We agreed not to discuss this" If she procedes, say, 'Mom,I am not discussing this. good bye.' I'm sure she has TBM friends she can discuss her apostate kids and the musical with. She doesn't need to call you guys. If I want to bitch about the church, I don't call my TBM sister. I find someone who agrees with me and she doesn't call me when she wants to bitch at anti Mormons. That way we manage to have a decent relationship. Your MIL should give it a try.

Jake, I would take the Mormon religion off the table as a topic of discussion. If she wants to tell you about her latest calling or some church gossip, fine. But other than that, no. I would also tell her that you will not tolerate her complaints about who in the family is or is not following the faith.

I would also have a talk with her about what constitutes "important." Talking about the BoM musical is not important. And if she wants to know why your sister left the church, she should try *talking to your sister*.

Why does she insist on calling you two (even texting you to answer your phone) when she knows that it is very unlikely that you will be sympathetic to her religous rants? She surely knows that there will be some level of disagreement, and likely turn into an argument/fight. Does she enjoy fighting?

another guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why does she insist on calling you two (even
> texting you to answer your phone) when she knows
> that it is very unlikely that you will be
> sympathetic to her religous rants? She surely
> knows that there will be some level of
> disagreement, and likely turn into an
> argument/fight. Does she enjoy fighting?

Yeah, that is my point. If I want to rant, I call someone who agrees with me.ANd why is ranting about a play an emergency?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2011 02:02AM by bona dea.

Sure, I think she totally does. At least, she enjoys playing the self-righteous and injured guilt trip game.

Her text said, pick up this is important. But she actually had nothing important to say about anything. So I think her texts can safely be ignored too.

Jake and Stormy, so you could think about this medically for a minute.

If you go with Mormonism being a disease, it's kind of like an chronic, inflammatory disease with multiple periods of flares followed by periods of remission.

Kind of like an auto-immune disorder, but one that would have remained dormant (since we humans seem to be predisposed to want to belong to a tribe) had you not ventured to someplace nasty (war, breakup, sadness) that caused the flare into TBM-itis.

Like rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, Chron's disease, etc it's a bear to live with. Love and compassion go a long way in helping a patient through this lifelong chronic condition.

Your mom just had a flare. It's going to happen. And I think you did just fine with dealing with her.

I would agree with reminding her you don't want to talk about the Church and just change the topic.

It's time consider having a laundry list of cute stories you can tell her about the boys or about your latest shift at the hospital. That's exactly what we do with our families. Give her something else to chew on.

Her mormon flare ups are like solar flares..they disrupt communications for months. So I'm taking the advice of you all...cute stories of the boys...no stories about the er so she doesn't pounce on..you should work in a real medical office...maybe get her to talk about out coming out for a visit.

Then the reminder no talk about religion please. It causes bad feelings. Pick up it's important relates to zn emergency. Griping should be to her mormon sisters.

You're right why bother us. I'm still trying to figure it out. My best guess is she still deep down doesn't want jake and I to remarry period and is willing to try anything to stop it. Not overtly but covertly...she wouldn't date to come out and say it. Who am I kidding, sure she would if she could.

Oh well, she'll never quit so we'll just have to learn to live with it. Though I still can't figure out why?

stormy

Ha ha ha! ;oD

*Matt offers his apologies to any witches who may have been offended by this remark.

Jake is her golden boy, evey family has one. If she can get him back the rest will follow, so she says. He's her favorite and therefore should be the omg who had to hear all her shit..do she thinks.

stormy

"Mom is this what you texted me about that was 'important?' and that I should pick up the phone? So you could insult my character because of my religious beliefs? I'm going to hang up now and please, if you call again don't do it to insult me."

Susan won't let me mention Raisinettes anymore so I'm on to a tub of popcorn and Junior Mints.

Just sayin'...

Ron

ROTFLMAO...junior mints indeed.

stormy

Thanks for the update. That is very interesting.

The Islam you're thinking of Stormy is the Saudi Arabian version of Islam. I worked in a major theme park in the South and met all sorts of Muslims. Some were the all-black Saudi women covering themselves completely, even in August (WTF?!). Some were middle-of-the-road who wore the headscarf but their husbands let them have bare arms below the elbows and bare legs below the knees. Then there were others where women didn't even wear the headscarves at all. Many of them were very nice and were more than willing to tell me about their beliefs. It's a shame Saudi Arabia is so much like TSCC in its extreme thinking, giving Islam a black eye.

True to prediction, Jake's mother has backslid from her promise to stop this behavior. Big time. This rant also directed another huge insult at Stormy.

Your mother is also busy re-writing your family history (i.e., Jake not attending the weddings of his older siblings because he had no TR, who paid for Jake's mission, etc.). This makes your mother a bodacious liar.

Also, her belief that Mormonism is a major player in world religions shows she is delusional and as for oppressive garb women are forced to wear in many parts of the Islamic world, I can only say, "Hello, pot! Meet kettle!"

When Jake's mother calls to rage over something as POINTLESS and DISTANT as a Broadway play that Jake had nothing to do with and hasn't even seen (yet !), then it's time to consider cutting her off entirely.

Also, I hope Jake's mother isn't calling up Jake's sister to upset her with nonsense like this. I hope for the time being Jake's sister is behind a protective wall so that this insane mother can't get at her.

RfM needs to come up with a 12 Step program along the lines of Al-Anon or Ala-Teen for dealing with TBM relatives . . .

stormy and Jake need it and I may be a nevermo but I have the TBM gang from hell in my family tree. Lots of posts from hurting people--I think the time has come.

People continue their habits (the dynamics of the family) until someone or something forces a change.
Swimming laps to burn energy ---hmmmm, sounds like limits are being met and a change is in view!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2011 01:17PM by SusieQ#1.

When I came out, one of the arguments my mom used was "a lot of people don't like gays." I replied, "Well, a lot of people don't like Mormons. Are you going to quit being Mormon because of that?"

At first she disagreed, but after I quoted a few jokes floating around about Mormons, she agreed that Mormons are mocked a lot. Having a Tony verify this is beautiful.

For the record, my mom likes gays a lot more now.