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Posted by: Raptor Jesus ( )
Date: June 14, 2011 02:17PM
I'm thinking about performing Satanic rituals for dead Mormons by proxie

You know, just in case they want the CHOICE of having their eternal souls sold to the dark lord in the afterlife.

Gotta keep your options open, yeah?

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Posted by: lostinutah ( )
Date: June 14, 2011 02:18PM
Re: I'm thinking about performing Satanic rituals for dead Mormons by proxie

HAHAHAHA

Priceless...

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Posted by: lillium ( )
Date: June 14, 2011 02:20PM
Re: I'm thinking about performing Satanic rituals for dead Mormons by proxie

You'd have to publish the list of everyone who's been Satanicized where every one can read it.

And go around gushing about how you felt the spirit so strongly with so and so that you're sure he accepted Satanism.

And when the guy's widow dies go to her funeral and preach how her dead husband accepted Satanism and you sure hope she will too so they can be together forever in Hell.

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Posted by: Raptor Jesus ( )
Date: June 14, 2011 02:22PM
Will do! (n/t)


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Posted by: lostinutah ( )
Date: June 14, 2011 02:26PM
Re: I'm thinking about performing Satanic rituals for dead Mormons by proxie

"And when the guy's widow dies go to her funeral and preach how her dead husband accepted Satanism and you sure hope she will too so they can be together forever in Hell."


HAHAHA

Priceless...

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Posted by: baura ( )
Date: June 14, 2011 02:27PM
Re: I'm thinking about performing Satanic rituals for dead Mormons by proxie

And when anyone complains about it say, "we only perform the ordinance, they have to CHOOSE to accept it, we're not making them do anything; how can you POSSIBLY be offended?"

Maybe a proxy "sodomy for the dead" ceremony could also be performed. Who could complain when we explain that the departed loved one must ACCEPT the sodomization?

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Posted by: Raptor Jesus ( )
Date: June 14, 2011 02:30PM
sodomy for the dead.

That is totally fantastic - funniest thing I've read in a long time. Thanks for helping me "flesh out" my next blog post.

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