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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: October 30, 2018 03:09PM

When the world came to an end as we know it, who was left standing?

It wasn't Moroni.

It was a homeless drifter who was sleeping under a bridge in the gutted ruins of a downtown once known as Salt Lake City, Utah.

Surrounded by graffiti, not golden tablets, of scribblings of those who had lived and died in the 21st century. The last century of civilization before the earth stood still.

It was prophecied by Christians that the world was coming to an end. They didn't predict this ending. There was nothing left but the drifter who was barely alive himself.

Not even angels of mercy were left to pick up the pieces. The world was over. There was no turning back except for the wheels of evolution to keep turning to see what might come next.

The day the music died God caught the last comet to Orion while dancing to the rhythm of the stars. The gig was over because mankind couldn't save itself. Not even God could repair what had been done.

(w/permission given to RfM to use as it wishes.)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2018 08:52PM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: Nightingale ( )
Date: October 31, 2018 02:24PM

You took the instructions to heart, Amyjo. Your short story is - short! Well done though. You're all so brave to put yourselves out there. I had fun dancing on the limerick thread but writing stories - that's serious stuff!

Your story is dark - here's hoping it never comes to that. But some days...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/31/2018 02:25PM by Nightingale.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 01, 2018 02:16PM

Thanks, Nightingale.

This is all conjecture. Yet, last time I was in the City Creek Mall having lunch a couple years ago already, I had a distinct impression of that place hollowed out like a future historic ruin. It was desolate, nothing left of it (in my sort of a surreal picture of its future.)

It did make me wonder about the future as I ate my Israeli lunch that day in the food court, what lay ahead for Temple Square. It wasn't a pretty site. It looked more like an old Roman ruin, truth be told.

Given enough time, in the course of history, it isn't really all that unlikely that it won't become a ruin. It's more likely than not.

As for the world coming to an end, well that was artistic liberty.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/01/2018 02:20PM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: Nightingale ( )
Date: November 01, 2018 02:43PM

Clever, AJ. I appreciate "artistic liberty".

What is "Israeli lunch"?

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 01, 2018 03:30PM

Oh, that. It was a couscous salad. And a Clementine san pellegrino.

It was good.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: November 13, 2018 12:49AM

"Clementine" San Pellegrino. Who knew? I've never seen it in anything but original "sparkling water" flavor. I'm impressed!

Your writing style is powerful.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 13, 2018 03:40PM

Thanks, Catnip! :)

The San Pellegrino is sold by the cans @ the local supermarkets. That I could add it to my order with a couscous Mediterranean salad at City Creek Shopping Center where the Mormon businessmen and women congregate every day for their lunchtimes and walks, I thought how fitting.

It was in honor of my Jewish great grandmothers who are buried there in the oldest Jewish cemetery in SLC, and my daughter who today lives in eretz Israel.

An ex-Mormon Jewish woman eating a Jewish lunch at Temple Square at noontime. That's when I had my sort of a vision of the future of City Creek Mall turned into a bombed out ruins of a structure. As I was sitting there eating my lunch, I saw what looked like an old Romanesque ruins from the antiquities, sometime in the future.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/13/2018 04:16PM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: November 01, 2018 04:42PM


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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 02, 2018 05:17PM

Thanks, Cheryl. I really appreciate your input.

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Posted by: c ( )
Date: November 01, 2018 04:57PM

This was really good! You should post it to the exmormon subreddit to get the traction you deserve. :)

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 02, 2018 05:17PM

Thank you so much. I'm unfamiliar with the exmormon subreddit.

Will need to explore that more.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: November 02, 2018 09:01PM

Short and sweet.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 13, 2018 03:32PM

Tankoo, DonBagley.

:)

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: November 03, 2018 03:26AM

Amyjo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> a downtown once
> known as Salt Lake City, Utah.


Wow! What a perfect line describing the headquarters of a group "once known as Mormons."


> The world was over.


Brief and impactful !

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 13, 2018 03:32PM

Oh right. I just caught that.

Danke schoen. :)

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Posted by: FM ( )
Date: November 03, 2018 06:28AM

There is a vigor to your two short stories that is sadly missing in all the others. The longer they got, the shorter they weren't, if you know what I mean.

Great job!

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 13, 2018 03:34PM

Thanks for the compliment. I would've liked it to be longer but I'm more of a poet than I am a story writer. I see the writing contest as an opportunity to write vignettes.

;-)

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