We are taught that we should apply the scriptures to our own lives. ("Liken" is just a weird and pretentious way of saying "apply".)

Every passage of scripture is there for a purpose.

We see in the March 2009 edition of the Ensign, the following wonderful spiritual message and instruction to all members:

"Even though the scriptures were written long ago, they provide inspiration for our modern-day dilemmas when we learn to liken them to ourselves."

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2009/03/likening-the-scriptures-to-our-personal-lives?lang=eng

Indeed, I wrestled with this as I found that many, if not most, scriptural passages SEEMED to have no relevance to anything or anyone at any time in my life. But that was me not applying or likening myself to the scriptures. I was not diligent. I was not trying hard enough. I was remiss and binging on Swiss Miss.

But recently, I turned over a new leaf, after putting an old leaf in one of my brownies, and I have found that indeed you can find true application to yourself in everything in the scriptures...if you only try.

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Just some examples from this week:

D&C 129:8 (The Handshake Test)

"If it be the devil as an angel of light, when you ask him to shake hands he will offer you his hand, and you will not feel anything; you may therefore detect him."

Personal application: I've been going around the streets where the people are with their signs claiming that they have messages from God. I've been asking them to shake my hands. So far all of them have passed the test. Now, I'm giving them stickers to put on their signs. The stickers say: "Verified as not being the devil posing as an angel of light."

This is a very good thing that I've done. People can now read the signs without worrying that the person holding the sign may actually be the devil. Just imagine how scary that would be.

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2 Kings 2: 23 and 24: (The one where the prophet guy orders some bears to kill and eat about 42 children.)


23 ¶ And he went up from thence unto Beth-el: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

Personal application: Out and about, I saw an old classmate who used to taunt me in elementary school. He is now totally bald, with weird scalp blotches and has no teeth. Thinking of all the taunting I had suffered from him, I was tempted to poke fun at his current degraded appearance.

But then I remembered about the she bears and I didn't want to be eaten, so I forgave him and didn't say anything about his bald head.

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Alma 19:5 (The one where you're supposed to stand by your man and pretend that he doesn't stink)

5 Therefore, if this is the case, I would that ye should go in and see my husband, for he has been laid upon his bed.... and two nights; and some say that he is not dead, but others say that he is dead and that he stinketh, and that he ought to be placed in the sepulchre; but as for myself, to me he doth not stink.

(Note: This is what can happen when you try to take a long nap on a Sunday afternoon.)

Personal application: I showered, bought some cologne and stocked up on deodorant because you never know when someone may try to put you into a sepulchre just because you have bad body odor.

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So...how about you? Are you likening the scriptures unto yourselves the way that I am? Or are you a bunch of backsliding slackers?? My guess is that you're slackers. You need to try harder.

I think you should go ahead and poke fun at your former classmate. Chances are, he’s not a prophet, and therefore unable to summon she bears. If you want to be safe, buy some bear spray, and keep it handy.

Ezekiel 23:20

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

How that is likened unto my daily life, I'll leave to the imagination of the reader.

:)

She sounds like a stable person.

It behooves everyone, especially those who have taken out their endowments, to liken even this scripture unto themselves, and see if they fall short in any way.

I think The Stubs Family does.

This is what happens when you have a good roll in the hay.

"Payday is roll-in-the-hay day."
--Judic West, when he was an 11-year-old paperboy in South Cockneyshire, The Wald, Shiretonshire, England.

Pay Lay Ale
Pay Day Lay
Hay Day Lay

Rolls off the tongue.