THe book thread and the ensign thread inspired me. Not looking for answers on this thread-just questions for the now-defunct Ensign column.
I'll start-

The Church abandoned polygamy 100 years ago, so why is DC 132 still in the D&C?

What happened to the office of Church Patriarch?

Why is Sheri Dew in such good favor with the Brethren given that she's not married? Is she a non-practicing lesbian?

Ron

Does this twit have children either? That's interesting... I just figured that naturally she was, given her status/position. Interesting indeed.

That's like a supposedly celibate priest giving out marital counseling. What they hell do they know?

She probably saving herself for an Apostles second sealing as soon as his first wife keels over.

But yeah, how do you be a 'mother who knows' when you are not and do not?

Elder Benson issued the following as part of talk on following the prophet:

"In section 132, verse 7, of the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord speaks of the Prophet--the President--and says: "There is never but one on the earth at a time on whom his power and the keys of this priesthood are conferred." Then in section 21, verses 4-6, the Lord states:

Wherefore, meaning the church, thou shalt give heed unto all his words and commandments which he shall give unto you as he receiveth them, walking in all holiness before me;

For his word ye shall receive, as if from mine own mouth, in all patience and faith.

For by doing these things the gates of hell shall not prevail against you.

Did you hear what the Lord said about the words of the prophet? We are to "give heed unto all his words"--as if from the Lord's "own mouth.""

Yet I frequently hear things like BY's racism and assertion that Adam was god written off as, "He was not speaking as a prophet." And yet this very talk insists that prophets are always speaking as prophets and cannot speak as anything else. Please clarify.

when Benson said THAT (yr quote) ...

Was HE (Benson) 'speaking as a man'? haha?

BY also reported to have said:

"No One's opionion is worth a straw"
(was THAT his opinion, HAHA)


LAST(?)

My advice to You is Don't take my Advice...

This speaking as a man business is bull!

The Church did NOT abandon polygamy 100 years ago.

The Church may have abandoned the practice of living with multiple wives at the same time. But polygamy is still a big part of Mormon doctrine. When Russell M. Ballard stands up and says that the Church stopped polygamy over 100 years ago so why are we discussing it, he's lying bigtime.

If a guy is sealed for eternity in the temple and his wife dies he can be sealed for eternity to another woman. This makes widowers fair game in the Mormon marriage market.

However if a woman is sealed for eternity in the temple and then her husband deploys to Iraq or Afganistan and is killed she cannot be sealed to a new husband. This effectively takes a young widow off the Mormon marriage market.

And, of course, ALL faithful Mormon women can look forward to being just one wife of many in a polygamous relationship for the eternities.

I can testify to the truthfulness of Sister Baura's inspired words. 4/12 of the current apostles are sealed to two women. In the name of an invisible flying jewish zombie. Amen.

You.

Why you be calling Jesus a flying jewish zombie?

all that had ended was new plural marriages (1909 is the last reported). The practice of plural marriage ended when the old polygs died off - see my post below.

My question would be, if the church allows eternal polygamy, why not eternal polyandry?

This is where I get many husbands right?

Yes I want that!

AIC Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is where I get many husbands right?

Yes, lol! Polyandry was a practice in the early church. Joseph did marry other men's wives.

I'm at a loss as to why the church allows men to have more than one sealing, but not women.

Well you know me and my vocal self I asked and declared that if a man can have two I can have three!

Ha ha ha ha but who listens to the black girl!

I used to call it "I Have An Answer". I'm pretty sure they came up with something they wanted to preach about, etc., come up with a fake question, and then answer it.

Why would Joseph Smith marry women who were already married to living men?

Why did Joseph insist on marrying teenagers?

The LDS church's prophet and most of it's apostles were practicing polygamists. It was not abandoned 100 years ago, what had ended (102 years ago) was the practice of new plural marriages. The LDS church stopped practicing polygamy in 1954 when current apostle Eyring's grandma died, leaving his grandpa, who married two cousins of mitt romney, with only one remaining wife.

Here is one:

Of our current General Authorities, who is the most well-endowed?

Only a man would ask that!

I don't expect any of them to be hung like a horse...they may be white and delightsome, but I doubt they are packing!

Yes, I have a question!

After the 1830 Book of Mormon was published, many grammatical errors were cleaned up for subsequent editions, and it reads much differently today, so I wanted to know; is this because Joseph used the same seerstone that he used for his failed treasure hunts?

He just forgot to turn the spellcheck on his seer stone on. The original translation had a lot of red squiggly lines under words, but people of that time were confused by them so they were later removed.

A woman can be sealed to ALL of the men she was married to in life---after she and they are all dead.
It's in the handbook.

But why only after death, and not during her lifetime (as is the case with the men?)

Q. If an apostate memorised the secret handshakes, signs and code names necessary to gain entry to heaven, would they get in?

Follow up to that question: If knowing those things doesn't matter, then what's the point?

Q. This ones for the Prophet, if you live the Word of Wisdom why are you so fat?

This made me super happy. +1!