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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 03:56PM

When I first started thinking about leaving, I wondered: am I just too lazy for this church?

Because, I just didn't want to:

-come in and clean the chapel instead of my own house
-visit sisters for a stilted half-hour, uncomfortably
-cook all the time (potlucks, enrichment, firesides)
-do stuff for the calling
-drive back again for the calling
-get dressed up on Sunday
-study scripture

Are they just hardworking, and I am lazy?

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 04:44PM

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 04:48PM

Thank you, Cheryl. :) :) :)

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Posted by: PollyDee ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 04:48PM

I felt exactly the same way just before I left. I had already determined the immoral nature of Mormon doctrine and practice - which only exacerbated the resentment I felt that my time was not my own. This was an indication to me that it was time to leave despite the fact that my husband and children were still TBM. Anyone who knows me would not describe me as "lazy" - rather, quite the opposite.

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 05:07PM

look at it this way....

If you had a so called "friend" that expected you to clean their house, sit and visit with them at least once a month, cook for them, run errands and manage their household, drive them where they wanted to go, wear your best clothes when you see them, and read whatever they told you to read....and tried to guilt and shame you for not doing it......when they could arrange to have it done for hire and had the funds to do so.....

Would consider yourself "lazy" for not wanting to comply?

No your not lazy. Your sensible, and the church is your so called "friend."

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 05:25PM

Ha! Thanks for the insights everyone, this is great!!!

Roy, you are so right---my "friend" has billions of dollars to buy and sell (profitably) real estate, yet can't hire a janitor to clean their house? Yep!!!

Thanks, thanks, and thanks!

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Posted by: mankosuki ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 05:43PM

Funny, that's one of the things I worried about when I was first stepping away. "Am I just too selfish?"

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 05:53PM

Yes, I had never felt 'selfish' and hedonistic till I was asked to spend time on so many things that I just plain didn't want to do.

I realized, in my pre-church life I hardly ever had to put up with people with stupid opinions calling me, never visited people with whom I had nothing in common, or read anything that I didn't enjoy... most especially, only had to clean my own house! And being single, I hardly ever cooked, but the church seemed to require me to bring food practically every week.

So I guess I was pretty selfish...and it is a pleasant way to live. :)

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2019 06:34PM by mel.

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Posted by: severedpuppetstrings ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 09:36AM

You're definitely not selfish. As others pointed out, TSCC is.

At first, I thought that they meant well when the folks in my former ward tried to keep me from leaving. I guess they had an inkling that I was disturbed by some of the BoM excerpts.
They would do things like get me to bear a testimony, or compare the Mormon church to other churches and proclaiming why the Mormon church is better. I was pretty naive.

It didn't hit me as to how selfish they were until they tried to force me to take on a calling. After my shelf broke, I was in a conflict because I still lived with my TBM roommates, and I couldn't move out at the time for many reasons. So many of my Sundays were taking a three hour bus ride out of town to visit my family and getting to know my nephew who was a baby at the time.
After a few weeks passed, that's when they tried to get me to take on a calling. I guess they thought that if they stuck me with a job in Primary, that would keep me from leaving.
My bishop at the time would harass me by calling me every Sunday. Christmas was on a Sunday that year, so I thought that I didn't have to worry about showing up for church since it would only be an hour. I would meet up with my family, and we would ride to Virginia to see my grandparents. My bishop would call me while I was on the road.

Maybe some of them meant well, but from what I experienced, a good amount of them are the selfish ones.
Forcing people to take a calling so they will not be able to leave.
Making claims that the only happiness comes from membership of TSCC.
Harassing and berating people that leave simply because they left.
Those examples alone shows who the selfish one is.

If leaving TSCC makes me (or anyone else selfish) then so be it. By being "selfish" I'm a lot happier by not exhausting myself with trying to build and keep a testimony. My mental health improved greatly by leaving the mindfuck that is so-called "True Church." When I serve my community, I do it out of sincere love, and not with an ulterior motive (for blessings or "missionary moment" opportunities). The friends that I have now genuinely like me because I'm ME, and not because I'm some number on TSCC membership records.
If that makes me selfish, then hell I guess I'm selfish. But that selfishness is a lot healthier than TSCC's brand of selfish.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 07:01PM

in B 4 ~ lol ~

OPie was just a sh!tty MorMon ~

* el ~ oh ~ el ~ *

welcome to the club OPie ~

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: January 09, 2019 07:10PM

If it was true, it would be worth all that work (and more), but it’s not.

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Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: January 10, 2019 12:34AM

All of us ex-Mormons have been accused of being lazy.

That sluggish, tired feeling is not laziness, it is aversion.

On Sundays, I could not drag myself out of bed, with out 2 cans of coke. That was the only time I ever drank caffeine. When I quit the cult, I didn't need the caffeine anymore. For my regular job, I was up like a shot, eager for the day (most days).

I could not get through Sunday, without a nap after church. I would go into my room, crawl into bed, and pull the covers over my head, and blank-out for 20 minutes, and then I would be fine for the rest of the week, until Saturday night, when I had to prepare for another Mormon Sunday.

I never had a problem getting up early and skiing like a maniac all day.

I love lectures and classes! I go for fun, and not just when I have to. But, I absolutely could NOT stay awake in religion classes at BYU.

Just compare your real-world life with your Mormon life.

People are like cats. Have you ever seen a child grab a cat by the neck and force it's nose into it's food dish? No matter how much the hungry cat has been begging for food, no matter if the food is it's favorite (Turkey giblets at Thanksgiving), the cat will fight against the shove, and refuse to eat.

The Mormons have never learned to give their medicine with a "spoon full of sugar."

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 10, 2019 10:36AM

Thank you ex and []

Yes, in the days I had 2 whole weekend days off, my life was better and more fun!

And yes, I felt that, they would have kept wanting me to do more things, meaningless things.

I volunteer at a shelter and the need is serious and acute and you make a real difference. I never felt that bringing a meal to these already well-fed Mormon families would make a difference at all, or visiting with them for a stilted half-hour.

There is REAL need that the church never addressed in this busy-work of activities.

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Posted by: [|] ( )
Date: January 10, 2019 02:07AM

You could never do enough to satisfy the mormon church.

If you did everything you listed, they would find something else for you do. If you did that, they would then find yet something else to do after that.

The demands of the mormonism will expand to fill all available time.

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Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 02:46PM

[|] Wrote:
> You could never do enough to satisfy the mormon
> church.
> If you did everything you listed, they would find
> something else for you do. If you did that, they
> would then find yet something else to do after
> that.
> The demands of the mormonism will expand to fill
> all available time.


I can remember when I came back from my FOOL time MORmON mission, after flushing two years of my life down the toilet for THE interests of THE (MORmON) church, I wanted to be able to concentrate on my own life for a change after devoting so much to THE (MORmON) church. I felt I had earned that right by serving a FOOL time mission. For the first time in my life I FINALLY did not have the burden of serving a mission looming in the future or directly impinging on my existence. I just wanted to live my life for the sake of myself. .....Then the damned MORmONS started up with their " a mission is not the end of concentrated service to THE Church, it is just as boot camp as preparation for even MORE concentrated service to THE church" BS routine. I WAS FURIOUS !!!

MORmON Demands NEVER END !!!!!, unless or Until the individual shuts them off !

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Posted by: snowball ( )
Date: January 10, 2019 11:59AM

This one drives me nuts.

When I was in the process of leaving the LDS Church I had a lot of self-work and introspection to do. That left a lot of things off the table. That probably appeared lazy to some of my relatives, but it was actually a lot of hard work. Lots of reading, listening to podcasts, running in the woods thinking about things.

That might not be work in their book, but it is in mine. If we look as some great historical figures they often have what I like to call "wilderness years" that often precede some of their best work. What we do and learn during those times can be very consequential.

For me, that time of life came following years of heavy engagement in LDS work (Mission, BYU). I was a more than a little burnt out on "serving." I was starting to wonder if all of it was worth the effort and increasingly realizing it wasn't.

As I reoriented my worldview, I started to put better effort into other things again. My career got back on track. I've found service opportunities that actually help people rather than griping about gays or contemplating Nephi's self-righteous babbling.

It's not laziness to take time for yourself when transitioning away from Mormonism. It's also not laziness to refuse to work your backside off for an evil and/or fraudulent organization. Should we put in more effort into the KKK just because it's work and work is intrinsically good? Absolutely not! A bishop or stake president who volunteers hours interviewing teenagers about their sexual issues is frequently doing far more harm than good. It's just that a Mormon doesn't see it that way.

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 09:39AM

were some of the most devout mormons in their wards and families? I was. I gave it everything I had. Lazy. NEVER. I've never been accused of being lazy except by mormons.

I just didn't try hard enough. I just wasn't righteous enough. No wonder my ex is still gay.

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Posted by: Spezianne ( )
Date: January 12, 2019 10:15PM

I don't blame you. Those were the reason I stopped going to church. The more I learned about the top and how the TSCC really operates, the more it went from "not my cup of tea" to not going back to activity at all.

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