warmed by memories
Date: February 13, 2019 02:05AM
Heartbroken, about contacting your old boyfriend--
I was in love with my brother's best friend, who was 6 years older than I. I have a photo of him holding me when I was a little baby. He was one of my dearest friends. I never knew life without him in it, on an almost daily basis, as he lived down the street. I never dreamed that anything would develop between us, because he was very handsome and intelligent and funny, and I was just a skinny, shy little Mormon girl. My parents loved him like a son, but he was an Atheist; hence, not a suitable boyfriend for me.
I never told anyone about my crush on our friend--especially not him--for fear of ruining our great relationship with each other and my family. I got into the University at home, but my parents insisted that I go on a mission, and hoped I would find a good Mormon husband, soon after, at BYU. While I was on my mission, my dear friend got engaged to someone else. My heart was broken, but I didn't want to tell anyone. It turned out, that he had been my greatest chance at happiness! He and his wife live a few blocks from my childhood home and his sons are doctors, and they and the grandchildren live in the same lovely neighborhood. He and his wife have traveled all over the world, and they have a beach house, and they do (fun) charity work.
It's not about money, but about love, happiness, integrity, and accomplishment--he is such a great human being! No one else ever measured up to him, and I never loved anyone as deeply. My first Mormon husband beat me. My second Mormon husband cheated on me, and abandoned me and our children. I was struggling to build a career to support my family, living away from home, feeling rejected by the Mormons because I was twice divorced, and turning 50, when my old "soul-mate" insisted on seeing me. I did not want him to see me so down-on-my-luck, and having been made a fool of by 2 sociopaths and their hoax cult. He looked into my eyes, and said he wanted me to know that he had been in love with me, those 27 years ago, and that he had wanted to marry me! When I was away on my mission, he had decided to join the Mormon church, and cooperate with my parents. Though I had never told him, he had known that I was in love with him. He was going to surprise me, and propose to me that Christmas, and offer to put me through school at the good University. He said he "didn't know what happened" to make him propose to his wife, instead. She is not his type, and he has never been happy with her.
He said he was sorry. I told him he had nothing to be sorry about, because I didn't have a clue that he felt that way about me, and had no expectations. I had to leave immediately, to catch my flight, to go back home to my shattered, lonely, scary life. I cried the entire flight home. No, we didn't get together, or anything like that. Christmas cards. He's still married.
If nothing happened, why am I telling you this?
On lonely nights such as this, I can remember that an amazing, golden, prince of a man once loved me--for years! He knew me for my entire childhood, growing up, and he knew me better than anyone--and he loved me enough to want to spend the rest of his life with me!
I have this love, and our many memories, filling my heart--because he took the trouble to tell me. What a gift! No kidding--it keeps me warm at night!
Seek him out--no strings, no expectations--it will make you both happy.