Pope: some of my representatives toured your temple and told me the most fantastic story. I wanted to hear from you if they hsve the details correct.

Rusty: ok

Pope: so you build these temples all over the world and shroud them in mystery.

Rusty: yup

Pope: but all it is is a movie about the creation of the earth?

Rusty: that and we reward them with imparting secret hand shakes to get into heaven. After of course they promise total loyalty to me and to dedicate everything they own to my corporation errr church.

Pope: so Joseph Smith made up some handshakes?

Rusty: oh heavens no. He copied them from the masons.

Pope: wow. And your members understand this?

Rusty: oh yes. We just tell them the masons stole them from Solomon's temple. Their cool with that.

Pope: so how does one get in the temple.

Rusty: easy. Our clergy do worthiness interviews. Demand our members give us 10 percent of their money and we let them in.

Pope: okay so once they know the secret handshakes then that's it right?

Rusty: nope. We've convinced them they need to go over and over again for all the billions of people that have died without knowledge of Christ.

Pope: and the youth? Is there a program for them?

Rusty: even a better one. We get to do worthiness interviews with them from age 11.

Pope: well there can't be much cash in that.

Rusty: no we just get to talk with them every 6 months about their sex lives. You know what color underwear girls wear to church and whar fantasies the boys have while masturbating.

Pope: really?

Rusty: yup.

Pope: sounds intriguing. How do you pay for these temples?

Rusty: that's easy. We collect donations tax free and then channel them to companies mostly owned by church leadership. Of course we overcharge ourselves.

Pope: is that why you build so many?

Rusty: in part. But the best part is about every 10 years we'll tear the temple down and rebuild it. Citing safety or health issues or to accommodate increased usage.

Pope: and the members buy that?

Rusty: oh of course. They say it shows the work of god progressing.

Pope. Unbelievable

Pope: now tell me about utah

Rusty: it's a state in the United States that I approve all the laws, control the schools, the law enforcement, etc.

Pope: so like the vatican?

Rusty: well. Many times bigger in land area and I contol hundreds of cities. Plus many in near by states too.

Pope: wow. Who controls the church assets? The money, property etc.

Rusty: I do. I'm a corporate sole. Everything belongs to me.

Pope: thank you for some interesting items to ponder.

Sad but true

I read about this in my Sunday news paper.

I thought it was a good coverage. Nelson is quoted as saying, "What a sweet, wonderful man he is". Also, (from Nelson), "How fortunate the Catholic people are to have such a gracious, concerned, loving and capable leader."

The article even got the Church's name correct: "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints".