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Posted by: angela ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 08:37AM

(according to DN)

"This is a hinge point in the history of the church. Things are going to move forward at an accelerated pace, of which this is a part," he said, later adding, "The church is going to have an unprecedented future, unparalleled; we're just building up to what's ahead now."

(SMH)

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Posted by: namarod ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 08:57AM

Yeah right! The morg is going to continue it's downward growth. It will only grow in Africa. As more remote African villages get the internet, this will also stymie Church growth.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 09:03AM

I know a few things about hinges and hinge points...and it sounds like things just became more unhinged than ever.

Unprecedented future...unparalleled...accelerated pace....

Sounds like someone spiked his cocoa with espresso.

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Posted by: angela ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 09:27AM

He knows his time is limited so he has to do whatever he envisions FAST.

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Posted by: Kristy ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 11:39AM

(cough cough)..ah hem...what ever Wendy envisions.

They're both so visionary. Just an impressive couple of visionary's.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 11:18PM

Wally Prince Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I know a few things about hinges

Hahah good post!

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 09:37AM

Sort of reminds me of comments about things being "YUGE!"

You know, undeserved and continuous hyperbole...

:)

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 10:46AM

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sort of reminds me of comments about things being
> "YUGE!"
>
> You know, undeserved and continuous hyperbole...
>
> :)

Haha! Nelson and Trump. Both good at spewing hot air and firing up their base of supporters but no real substance there, Nelson's "Take your vitamins because we are going places" rhetoric is much like Trump's we are going to build a big beautiful wall and make America great again rhetoric.

The reality will be a few more temples and less members and a few new patches of border wall that really do nothing. Oh but people love to party and dance to the bullshit don't they?

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 09:51AM

Who knew? Apparently getting an "udienza" with the Holy Father Pope was Mormon Heavenly Father's big break after centuries upon century of struggle to start his one true church.

"An extra serving of sacrament bread and water for everyone in the CK! This is a wonderful day! Oh goodness, let's break out the green Jello, too. This is big!"

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 10:38AM

of deities.

Mormon God: "It's tough. It's really tough, I tell ya. I get no respect. No respect at all. Just the other day I tried to give my own prophet 72 virgins as a reward and the federal government comes up to me and says I can't even give him one. So I tried the next best thing. I gave my prophet a virgin olive oil. Turns out she wasn't a virgin at all. Been sleepin' with a guy named Popeye for years! I get no respect. Then I try to set my guys up to meet with the Pope to see if they can learn how to worship me in style. The Pope says he can't do that normally. So I tell him that doing it weirdly is fine. My Mormons can't tell the difference anyhow. But where's the respect you know? So I figure I have to up my game, you know. Make a name for myself. Get a seat at the big table with the other gods. So I decide to make an appearance in all my glory in the Holy of Holies at the Rome temple. Turns out nobody's there but the janitor and he yells at me to turn off the light cuz they're already over budget on their electric bill for the month. No respect at all...

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Posted by: angela ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 12:01PM

***ROFLMAO***

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 01:35PM

Hahahah ha Hysterical!

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 10:25AM

Did he remind those Italians to pay their tithing?

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 12:38PM

Shinehah Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Did he remind those Italians to pay their tithing?


the Holy Father sends his tithing Directly to SLC/COB so none of his underlings will know about it...


just sayin'

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Posted by: 3X ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 10:38AM

Known ever after as "The Bromance in Babylon".

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Posted by: lachesis ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 02:57PM

Funny. Yes, we will now call them Fransell. He was so jealous of Kimald that he had to create his own power couple.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 10:38AM

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Russ finally found a replacement word for Mormon: Catholic.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 11:42AM

You have to love unfettered optimism. Having a temple in Rome, Rusty must feel like he's playing with the big boys now.

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Posted by: notmonotloggedin ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 01:38PM


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Posted by: 3X ( )
Date: March 14, 2019 10:29AM

Mormons are perpetually compensating for their silly, tiny sect:

"Look how important we are - we've met with the Pope!!!"

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Posted by: kathleen ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 11:57AM

Why didn't Nelson go to Russia and bring himself home a couple of missionaries?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/12/2019 11:58AM by kathleen.

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Posted by: Dorothy ( )
Date: March 14, 2019 12:04PM

Why indeed.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 12:18PM

Derailed sounds more like it!

:)

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 12:27PM

Next step?

Getting to sit at the adult table, with full-sized chairs, on his next visit to the Vatican.

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Posted by: Anonymous Muser ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 01:04PM

"We just got validated by the Whore of Babylon! Yay for us!"

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Posted by: OneWayJay ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 01:13PM

The chickenshits didn't even give the Pope a Book of Mormon.

Didn't bare their Testimony to him.

Crap job as missionaries and leaders.

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 10:52AM

OneWayJay Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The chickenshits didn't even give the Pope a Book
> of Mormon.
>
> Didn't bare their Testimony to him.
>
> Crap job as missionaries and leaders.

Heck. I bet they didn't even invite him to come to church with them.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 14, 2019 04:36AM

is only for the little people. The top leader guys have to maintain respectability and credibility with their peers. Who are their peers? Well obviously they regard their peers as being top leader guys of other organizations in business, religion and government.

Hinckley was given a platform on one of the most popular TV shows of the time. He could have declared all kinds of truths.

Instead, he basically denied being a real prophet (he was just "sustained as such" by the idiot little people in his church).

Nope. The top leader guys would never go out of their way to create an awkward situation.

TBH, I'm not sure what Nelson really believes. He really does seem anxious to get rid of as much embarrassing stuff as possible and trim it all down until you've just got a kind of mainstream, "We Love Jesus" social club that offends no one and nobody. I remember he was the only GA who was talking about the rock-in-the-hat translation schtick before it was cool in the LSD church to acknowledge it.

IIRC, he was never a full-time missionary. He came into GA status from an unusual angle (doctor and prophet whisperer for Spencer W. Kimball).

I'm going to go out on a limb and say for the record that I don't think Nelson really believes in the Book of Mormon. He just can't admit it. And that means that he also knows that Joe Smith was a fraud. And that explains why Nelson would be so thrilled to spend face time with the Pope. If he took the Mormon "Gospel" seriously, it wouldn't make sense. But if he's all about valuing the organization for the fact that it gives him an audience of millions who can be bent to his will, it makes sense.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: March 14, 2019 09:26AM

My mission president always loved to brag how he (and his two assistants) would often go out and find people to share the gospel. He would then brag about church meetings and mission conferences (among other church mission presidents) that he was one of the few MP's that knew how to tract, testify and bring souls to Christ. Apparently, he was very good at role playing with the other church stooges. All of this was to IMPRESS the little peon that he was a "foot soldier of the church" just like us.

So one of my last mission transfers, I got a little one-to-one candid time with the Assistant to the President (AP) because I was scared to death of dying in the mission van due to the driver falling asleep and drifting off the road (there had been plenty of heart-wrenching stories of near accidents). So I asked the AP about all the wonderful tracting and inviting people to join the church and the AP came clean. "It's all prearranged before Pres. ______ arrives. The street had previously been tracted out. We knew which ones (houses) had been receptive. He then went onto to say that the MP also was invited to join receptive discussions where the missionaries had ALREADY committed investigators to be baptized. So all of this had been set up by the AP's to avoid awkward and embarrassing situations that would make the great leader look foolish.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/14/2019 09:30AM by messygoop.

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Posted by: angela ( )
Date: March 14, 2019 11:45AM

Oh brother.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: March 16, 2019 10:19AM

>The chickenshits didn't even give the Pope a Book of Mormon.
Didn't bare their Testimony to him.

Exactly. Usually they brag about how they gave (insert name of important person here) a BoM and a book of their personal genealogy.

Plus, every member a missionary! Profess your testimony and all that! That's for the little people to do.

I think it is creepy and invasive for Mormons to go digging around into someone's ancestors and then present it as a gift. "Here is a gift for you, Pope. We did your genealogy for you. We did their Mormon temple work too!)


Apparently they had the good sense to keep their brand of crazy to themselves while visiting the Catholic brand of crazy.

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Posted by: memikeyounot ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 01:42PM

This has been news on all local news aggregates here in Salt Lake City, home of the mormons. Even The Tribune, the non LDS owned newspaper has covered non-stop.

The DesNews, The Provo Daily Herald (not owned by the church but...) KSL (especially KSL) have had continuing pieces of news for what seems like weeks but I guess it's only been since the weekend.

It's not news anywhere else.

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Posted by: Swiss Miss ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 01:56PM

Ha ha, I've heard that before.

I was a missionary in Zurich, Switzerland when "the field was white, already to harvest." Didn't happen. Not only did it not happen but the Zurich Switzerland mission no longer exists. The mission home is now the office of a local company.

The nice ward I attended years ago in California was divided, never to be the same because of the growth that was predicted to take place in the stake. A general authority spoke at our stake conference to ease the anxiety members had about the changes and spoke about the tremendous growth that was going to happen. The growth never happened but the changes made in anticipation of the growth caused lasting damage.

This is another example of how church leaders get carried away in their feelings that they mistake for the spirit. They're pumped up because they've finally built their temple in Rome and met with the pope. They're carried away with themselves and start "prophesying" about the future. Maybe the've made some kind of real estate deal with the pope and that's what they're really excited about.

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Posted by: angela ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 02:32PM

Swiss Miss Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ha ha, I've heard that before.
>
> I was a missionary in Zurich, Switzerland when
> "the field was white, already to harvest." Didn't
> happen. Not only did it not happen but the Zurich
> Switzerland mission no longer exists. The mission
> home is now the office of a local company.
>
> The nice ward I attended years ago in California
> was divided, never to be the same because of the
> growth that was predicted to take place in the
> stake. A general authority spoke at our stake
> conference to ease the anxiety members had about
> the changes and spoke about the tremendous growth
> that was going to happen. The growth never
> happened but the changes made in anticipation of
> the growth caused lasting damage.
>
> This is another example of how church leaders get
> carried away in their feelings that they mistake
> for the spirit. They're pumped up because they've
> finally built their temple in Rome and met with
> the pope. They're carried away with themselves and
> start "prophesying" about the future. Maybe the've
> made some kind of real estate deal with the pope
> and that's what they're really excited about.

And in 10,15,20 years from now when Mormons look back at what Nelson said, and nothing of great importance comes from it the response will be "He was speaking as a man. It was his opinion"~~~Completely ignoring what his wife has been "testifying to"

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 14, 2019 04:14AM

when I stayed there. Nice little building, well-built, standard Mormon building style...Almost always quiet as a tomb. One time I saw two cars in the parking lot and that was surprising.

But I imagine the value of that real estate is something else.

Real estate.

The Church is crap. But the tithepayers have bought some really nice real estate over the years. Of course all the ordinary schlubs and schlubinas who contributed tithing all their lives won't get anything out of it.

But the top leader guys and their friends probably will.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: March 14, 2019 08:52AM

It's all a facade. In my Mom's ward and stake, The church still budgets to pay landscaping companies to maintain the church grounds. Why? Because the church knows that they can't get a large group of geriatrics to come to clean the building, yet alone come on Saturday to mow the lawn. By the way, the church really likes their fancy and ornate horticulture with the checkered grass, uniquely shaped shrubbery and blooming gardens. That's what the world sees and its importance to be seen. 90% of non members will never step inside a church building to smell decay and mildew, but they might take notice of a well maintained property. Keep that in mind when the church cuts off the heating and cooling for the members.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: March 16, 2019 07:16AM

here in the young wards. I walk my dogs in a new area of Hyrum and there is a lot of building of new homes and townhouses going on. I see the company come in on Thursday mornings in the non-winter months to do the landscaping. I see it at the stake center 2 blocks from my home also.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 03:03PM

Ugh, starting with JS they've been talking about this crap; reminds me of JW's who thought the the Big Finish would be in 1878, 1881, 1914, 1918, 1925, 1975, 2000, and probably some other dates.

Unless, of course, Rusty means that more ritzy-yet-useless-except-for-hefty-Utah-based-company-contract-profits temples will be built in nice, comfy First World areas that he'd like to visit.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: March 12, 2019 03:09PM

Remember that the very Nelson, even the apostle made a tremendous blunder predicting church growth back in 1989. Do you think he's going to be right this time?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 11:04AM

angela Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "The church is going to have
> an unprecedented future, unparalleled; we're just
> building up to what's ahead now."

Well, maybe he is mentioning their inevitable upcoming white minority. The melanin levels in the skin of their leaders may have rise.

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Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 11:48AM

Well, you know, he got the pope's blessing, so...

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Posted by: Bert ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 11:59AM

I get the impression that the church is rather disappointed buy the reaction of thre of the world. In other words We are unimpressed!

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 12:01PM

Handing the Holy Father a BoM would prob get them unceremoniously tossed, on the spot; can u / we imagine the insult that would have been?


unless, of course, Russ autographed it & highlighted key passages...

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Posted by: sharapata ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 10:43PM

I don't quite understand how meeting the Pope has anything to do whatsoever with accelerating growth of the Church, let alone be considered a "hinge point"?

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 11:51PM

right after their company has been acquired by another company.

Just joking, sort of, but I get some of the same feels that I get when I see the management of a newly acquired subsidiary meeting their new boss.

They meet briefly with the new boss, then come out and hold a press conference where they talk about "new beginnings" and "synergy" and "hinge points" and "accelerated growth" and "big things ahead"...you know, just the kind of blowhard nonsense that Nelson uttered right after meeting the Pope.

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: March 13, 2019 11:46PM

The Pope leans over the table and in a hushed voice tells the Mormon Prophet and Apostles that he can arrange for them a visitation of the Madonna, if they would like that.

President Nelson appeared to be confused for a moment because the Madonna is not emphasized in traditional Mormon doctrine as a subject of great veneration and worship to the extent that she is in Catholicism. But still.... The Madonna! All of the Apostles are nodding their heads yes. If nothing else, it'll take the Pope down a notch if he can't deliver. So President Nelson does a quick scan to make sure everyone's on board and then tells the Pope that they would like that very much.

To their surprise, the Pope then pulls a little bell out of his frock pocket and gives it a little ring. Suddenly loudspeakers are blaring out a song that frequently repeats the phrase "like a virgin" and a strange lady, sixty-something and slightly gap-toothed, comes out from behind a curtain wearing fishnet stockings, ultra short shorts, and a black leather jacket over a loosely fitting tank top. She then looks straight at Russell Nelson and says: "Hi, Rusty. Let's see if we can loosen up some of that rust. I'm the Madonna."

The Madonna then proceeds to lick the face of each member of the First Presidency, while intermittently blowing kisses to the other Apostles. She then stands up and moves to stand behind the Pope. The Pope then says "thank you, Madonna" and claps his hands twice. A huge puff of smoke then conceals the Madonna and when the smoke clears, she's gone and the music stops.

Later that evening, President Nelson convenes an emergency meeting of the Q15 because it has become clear to him that the Pope's game is much farther ahead of their own game than they ever imagined. They need to up their game or perish. President Nelson starts the meeting by looking around and asking: "Anybody here have Marie Osmond's telephone number? Gladys Knight's? What are we going to do when dignitaries from other organizations come visit us in the COB? I want smoke. I want fireworks! I want an oddly sensual older lady with a religious stage name. Is there any woman in the scriptures named Wendy? I want some vitamins...NOW, GOSH DARN IT!"

President Nelson was in a mood.

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Posted by: a nonny mouse ( )
Date: March 14, 2019 09:34AM

a friend posted a picture on Facebook of the 15 apostles in their all white temple suits outside of the new temple - so inspiring! Really? A bunch of old guys who look like emeritus board members in white suits. Okay then.

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Posted by: oregon ( )
Date: March 15, 2019 07:30PM

Fraud, phony, delusional, geriatric, fear mongering. SICKENING that people do not see this for what it truly is.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: March 16, 2019 09:10AM

It is a hinge point, but not in the way Rusty suspects. The Mormon church will soon be at zero growth in the western world. The only real hope for growth is in the developing countries, and those countries will never bring in the level of tithing that the church leaders are used to.

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