Years ago, I was at a university/singles branch in California. There were 2 men who were "roomates" for over 20 years and never dated nor showed interest in dating women.

They were great, well-liked and popular. As a young gay man myself, I wondered why they were not pressured into hetro marriage, and why they were left alone. No one commented, until years later (after we left the church) that they were most likely gay and lovers.

Does this happen often?

Maybe it was because they were older? I think after a certain age people stop asking about dating and marriage. My guess is that most members did not assume they were gay.

In *tolerant* non-Mormon culture, I think this was frequently the case. Adults knew that there gays. In my parents' day, they were known as "confirmed bachelors." People knew about it but they didn't talk about it much. They enjoyed the company of these gay men but otherwise left them to their own devices.

What you were seeing may have been a California-Mo thing.

Yeah I definitely think it's a California-Mo thing. When my mom was very young, she knew an older man who was a temple worker, never married, etc. He supposedly was very well liked. It wasn't until she was older did she realize that he might have been gay.