Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: koriwhore ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 12:14AM

Some of my (former) friends are Mormon, still to this day.
So are some of my family members. My relationship with them is difficult, because I'm so NOT ok with the abuse the church enables and still continues to inflict upon people I know and love.
I'm not ok with the abuse that I am well aware of that is enabled by MORmONs who choose to 'see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" of the Lord's Annointed, meaning any MORmON penis holder gets away with being abusive because MORmONs are more interested in "Maintaining the good name of the Church" than they are in protecting innocent children from abusers.

One of my best friends is a great guy. I still go climbing mountains with him all over the PNW. He's a Dr. and a strong climber. He is well aware of all the issues that led me to conclude it was an abusive fraud. He is an obsessive researcher and has written volumes on Plural Marriage, BoA Problems, Problems with the various versions of the first vision, racism, the list goes on. He just never reaches a conclusion about any of it. The church works for him, so he doesn't conclude that it's bad for him or his family. His wife would probably divorce him if he quit the crutch. They've got 5 kids all of whom went to BYU, got married in the Temple, missions, the whole nine yards. Except his one son, who did the math and figured out it was nonsense. His parents kicked him out of the house for not believing. They've got a good family and I'm not one to screw that up, so I just don't really talk much about the church or why I think it's bad for you and especially your kids to sing the praises of a serial rapist/pedophile/con-man.
My Mormon Sister, on the other hand, is so easily offended by anything I say about the church (typically, that's nonsense) that she just doesn't come around any more. She actually just moved to Europe, which is a good thing, because she enabled a hell of a lot of abuse by protecting the rapist who raped her two daughters, because he was a Mormon Penis holder and she didn't want to make the crutch look bad. And the rest of us are just supposed to pretend everything is normal and STFU about it!!!
As if.
My best friend growing up is still Mormon. I'm better friends with his kids now than I am with him. He's in massive denial about the abuse he suffered as a child at the hands of our Scout Master, who got his hands on practically every scout that went through the scout Program where I grew up, over a 4 year period. Our mutual friends filed a lawsuit against the church for putting the known pedophile in charge of a scout troop, then covering it up and silencing the victims when they came forward.
My best friend refused to co-operate in the lawsuit and got pissed at our mutual friend for filing the lawsuit against the church, because he couldn't believe that our Bishops would protect the pedophile, that it was the pedophile's fault, not the church's fault. So our friends went ahead without him and now they're multi-millionaires, but he's just a Mormon who can't say shit about what happened to him or he'll be disowned by his parents, his wife, his boss, the list goes on.
I can't be quiet about that, so I just quit being friends with the guy, so as not to harm him.
I still love the guy.
I just can't really respect somebody who gives cover to rapists.
And that's what I feel like Mormons do every time they sing the praises of a rapist.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/16/2019 12:25AM by koriwhore.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: FelixNLI ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 01:05AM

I choose to not maintain a relationship with any of them except the one I am married to. The rest (in-laws and siblings) I tolerate. My friends are all non-Mormons. I guess there is a little reverse shunning going on on my part.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 01:11AM

the effects of indoctrination (denial, cog-dis, others) seem to be the main events for Mormons now who care to Examine, let alone Question the policies & Practices of Mormonism; most mormons Don't.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 05:26AM

Koriwhore wrote: "I just can't really respect somebody who gives cover to rapists.
And that's what I feel like Mormons do every time they sing the praises of a rapist."

I feel the same way, koriwhore. I know you have sometimes been criticized here on RFM for the way you stand up against Mormons--but I am with you. It is more complicated than merely "hating Mormons." It goes deeper than merely "being offended." We were abused. We have inside experience. Some of the abuse is still continuing. I have PTSD. Some of us have had therapy. Some of our Mormon friends have committed suicide.

The Mormon cult is more than an "annoyance". It is not just a group of harmless "weird-o's", that we must tip-toe around. Mormons have tried to break up our marriages, steal away our children and turn them against us, ruin our reputations and our jobs, cause us harm when we object, con us out of 10% of our income, take away our rights, hijack our very lives.

I don't wish to deliberately hurt any Mormons, but I would rejoice if their cult imploded on itself. I have pity on Mormon cult children, because I feel that they are victims. Most Mormon women are victims, too. Every time a Mormon pays tithing, he/she is being robbed. Every time someone is being lied to, he/she is being abused.

I choose to stay away from abuse, and abusers. Been there done that.

I don't feel that learning a lesson the hard way, and keeping myself and my family safe from a repeat of crimes against us (my children were physically abused by Mormon leaders) is being "prejudiced." When I tell others of our bad experiences in the cult, and when I tell others the Truth about Mormon history and the Mormon hoax, I am not "persecuting" the Mormons. I don't feel guilty that I dislike evil, and try to avoid it. I simply want to live a good, normal, honest, law-abiding, happy life. No cons.

Should we welcome KNOWN liars and scammers and abusers into our life?

Should we welcome strangers into our life, when all we know about those strangers is that they worship a polygamous pedophile, and other proven liars? That's what a stranger is saying, when he/she says, "I am a member of the COJCOLDS." There are too many good people in the world, too many good friends, clients, and acquaintances for us to waste time hoping to find noble and normal qualities in Mormons cult members we don't know.

As for the Mormons who are not strangers, a handful of them have committed crimes against me and my children. Most of the Mormon neighbors and relatives (who have not left) have been shunning me, since I resigned from the cult. Should I make the effort to seek them out, and give them more opportunities to be rude, to be invasive, to lie to me? That's what Mormons do.

I can't respect that, either.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: nolongerangry ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 09:09AM

Well said koriwhore. I too have family that I must talk to now an then. I would rather detach from them forever, but they still insist I live the Mormon lifestyle. Makes me sick.

And my dad, in his Cult thinking ways, still thinks it is ok that I was molested, and it was just a man and boy exploring. Nothing wrong with that he says. I hate Mormons so much. I am surprised no one has tried to take them down.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 10:17AM

There’s a reason Monson rode in an armored Audi. That and he knew God didn’t have his back.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: valkyriequeen ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 10:02AM

I agree with you guys. Most of my immediate family is out of TSCC (resigned) except for our oldest daughter and SIL: I'm holding onto hope that they will wake up and leave the cult one day. In the meantime, I hate the fact that our grandchildren are growing up in it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: shylock ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 10:35AM

In the same boat... My mom's side of family I stay the hell away from at all costs... When my mom passes it will be the last and only time I will have to deal with them. My dads side is a mixed bag and for the most part are Aok... still keep as far away as possible... With all the information available on the MorgCo con job available at ones fingertips can go on still believing in that much is mind boggling... try not to think about it too much... drink my coffee and mind my own business... at least until they infringe on my rights than all bets are off and I aim the double barrel shot gun right at the TSCC and I am taking no prisoners!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 11:02AM

Funny, it's kind of turned around for me. Got to the point where it had been long enough that most of the ignorant mormons were out of my life, the family members I care to be in contact with are pretty much accepting of it and know there's no possibility of my ever going back, and I moved across the country. The few old mormon friends who I stay in contact with mostly through Facebook are the truly wonderful ones and most of them are educated and accomplished. Some are new-order type mormons.

So now, when I run into mormons and strike up any kind of relationship, it's because we have things in common. They don't know me as anything other than a former Mormon. Through work, some volunteer projects and even a new therapist, I've met and become friends with several very active mormons who I just love. Even when they talk mormon stuff, it's easier to take and somehow gets easier to put myself in their position and remember when I could only think along party lines also.

So maybe dumping the whole pot and then starting from scratch to pick the ones you WANT to have a part in your life is the key.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 11:02AM

As far as giving cover to rapists, do you think that's what you were doing as a member? I'll admit, it's hard to have respect for people who won't face the fact that it's who JS was and why the temple ceremony came about--especially with the ease of finding info these days. But if you really want to maintain relationships, decide first what that means to you. If "I have to know how they feel about JS even if they treat me decently and genuinely try not to judge, before I can maintain this relationship", then give it up. But I know that way back when I was really a believing member, I would have been so offended if someone said I was giving cover to rapists, and I'd imagine you would have been too.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/16/2019 11:12AM by NormaRae.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: May 16, 2019 12:59PM

When my daughter is around, we don't talk about mormonism for the most part. We did talk about the change with temple marriages and it was a very good discussion. I can't live without my daughter. Period. She and her brother are my life and always will be.

I have neighbors who try to fellowship me a bit, but they are such wonderful people (and they are) that I choose to stay friends with them. I have a neighbor in the back who I also have just become good friends with. My best friend is mormon. I've known her since I was 25 and I'm almost 62. We had a few issues when I first left, but she accepts it now and I KNOW she needs whatever she finds in mormonism and it isn't my place to take that away. She has had a difficult enough life.

I know some really good mormons like the ones who help my disabled brother out.

The leaders abused me in a different way than "sexual abuse" as even though I consider what they did a sort of sexual abuse, if I were in your friend's position, YOU BET I'd be part of the lawsuit. To not hold them responsible means the abuse will continue. The leaders I have no tolerance for. I consider them truly evil.

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In

Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 ********   ******   ********   **    **  ********  
 **        **    **  **     **  **   **   **     ** 
 **        **        **     **  **  **    **     ** 
 ******    **        **     **  *****     **     ** 
 **        **        **     **  **  **    **     ** 
 **        **    **  **     **  **   **   **     ** 
 **         ******   ********   **    **  ********