Date: June 12, 2019 08:39AM
Right, Elderolddog, the same tired old lines at BYU still apply:
"We were in love in the Pre-Existence."
"God revealed to me that we should be married."
"I felt promptings of the Spirit, that I should come over and meet you."
"I had a dream/vision that you and I would get married in the temple."
Didn't Wendy say something like that about Russ, quoted in a recent Deseret News article? You can bet money that she said that to him!
I lived the section of a girl's dorm at BYU, that had the reputation of having the hottest girls--cheerleaders, song-leaders, Cougarettes, beauty queens (the runner up for Miss America among them) the Homecoming Queen, the Belle of the Y, some student body officers, the Hale family actresses. They were also good people! (Living in the dorms was a lot of fun.) Those girls heard those lines from guys so often, that their eyes would roll! I dunno, maybe a few of the young men were sincere--but, sorry, we just heard it so often, that it had no meaning, anymore. We had professions of True Love and even proposals of marriage from Mormons on the second or third dates! That's the truth. Sometimes from the same guys. We girls compared our experiences, and talked about absolutely everything, trying to understand what was going on, and helping each other. Over half the girls--I think it was 75%--got married and dropped out of school, before they graduated. Those of us who graduated still single got teased, and accused of being "picky."
We girls knew that we wore the right clothes, had good manners, our hair and makeup looked good, etc., but that did not make us feel secure or loved. Many had very low self esteem. One beauty queen was gorgeous without makeup, but she used to cry and get upset if her makeup and hair wasn't perfect, and she was too ashamed to go to class. There was a small group of bulimic girls who would run around the field behind the dorm, and then throw-up, every night. Really sad!
The Mormon returned missionaries moved too fast, because the church instructed them to get married ASAP, and start having children right away, even before finishing their education. This is a perfect example of the bad advice that the cult gives its members. My friends and I couldn't fall in love that fast. We wanted to get to know someone, and to become friends first. Whenever I would say that to a Mormon date, he would laugh at me! Friends? Har-har! They admitted that they weren't looking for friendship. I had dated the love of my life for 10 years, since the 8th grade, before we talked about marriage. Now THAT was romantic love! He was why I wouldn't have been interested in anyone else, anyway.
My closest BYU friends were from home, and they got married at ages 24-31, to: a Jewish professor back home, a handsome non-Mormon fireman, and old Mormon boyfriends from home--a medical student at the U, a PhD physicist, an airline pilot. These men were older, and had delayed marriage, in order to finish their education or start their careers. My friends all graduated, also, and some went on to graduate school. All of these people were on a different page than the BYU Mormons, or in a different world, so to speak. They had a lot of romance, and still have great marriages, today.
I used to get upset whenever a BYU boy said he loved me, and I would say, "How many brothers and sisters do I have? What are my favorite hobbies? What is my middle name? You don't know anything about me. You can't possibly love me." I was right. The next weekend, the boy would be pursuing another girl, and would be engaged within a few months.
Sorry to say, I didn't think the Mormon BYU boys had much respect for women, as people.
I just got a wedding invitation from my Mormon RM nephew, back from his mission not even a year. They will have known each other only 6 weeks. My RM brother got engaged on his FIRST date. Recently a friend met and quickly married a Mormon widower with children, and his wife had been dead only 6 months.
Maybe Mormons are so eager for sex and procreation, that they just don't have time for romance and courtship. Neither did their parents, or their grandparents.
IMO, Polygamy is the most un-romantic thing, ever.