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Posted by: Screen Name ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 10:52AM

I keep receiving email ads urging me to pre-plan my death. I have ignored them so far, but something tells me that leaving the pesky details and costs just might keep me above-ground (literally) for too long.

Opinions, please?

https://www.myers-mortuary.com/about-us/about-us/facility-cemetery-info/brigham-funeral-facilities/?utm_ci=QNL41X1&utm_channel=web&utm_ad=5675145&utm_cm=2817

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 10:58AM

I don't know what I think of those things. I think it's a money-grab on their part.

What if at the time of your death, you don't even live anywhere near the place where you originally set up your plans? What if they go out-of-business.

I think I'd rather leave my loved ones some funds to take care of my remains, like my uncle did. My Dad was in the hospital at the time of his passing, so my Mom and I went to his bank and talked to them. My uncle had told him that his family would take care of things.

So we went to a funeral home and got a quote from them. The bank approved it and released the funds directly to the funeral home. Everything went very smoothly.

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Posted by: Screen Name ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 11:10AM

Perfect. Thanks!

A question for you, Greyfort:

If I take time off work to fly overseas to attend the birth of our first child in September, it will significantly disrupt our financial timeline of getting a lot and home built.

Is it more important to enjoy a priceless moment, or do the rational thing and stay focused on the other, very important matters at hand?

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:00PM

I say it depends on how much time you waste beating yourself up, for not having made the other choice.

I guarantee you that your child won't miss you on the birth day, and won't be impressed by your home building efforts ... until someone helps him/her decide how to interpret whatever choice you decide to make.

Life is who gets to and then who we allow to influence us.

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Posted by: Aquarius123 ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 01:05PM

Screen Name Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Perfect. Thanks!
>
> A question for you, Greyfort:
>
> If I take time off work to fly overseas to attend
> the birth of our first child in September, it will
> significantly disrupt our financial timeline of
> getting a lot and home built.
>
> Is it more important to enjoy a priceless moment,
> or do the rational thing and stay focused on the
> other, very important matters at hand?

I know you are not asking me, but you may want to make a giant decision like this with your wife instead of strangers on a message board. Just sayin.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 12:15AM

It may not matter to your child if you attend her birth or not now. It will matter to your wife if you're there to hold her hand and help with the birth of your baby.

The house is temporal and is not as important as this milestone of your wife giving birth. That is a major event!

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Posted by: valkyriequeen ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 11:00AM

We're constantly getting ads in the mail for cremations and hearing aids. I still feel young inside, despite these ads trying to make me feel older than I am!

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 11:34AM

Yes.

I'm taking the weekend off and then putting a bunch of stuff in storage, forever.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 11:35AM

The only thing I've told my kids is what I want put in the casket with me--all the dog balls, etc., things from them that I know will all get thrown away after I die. What I want to be buried in. No funeral. No obituary. Graveside service for few.

My ex's money will have to pay for my funeral and his. Odds are I will die before he does. He has a good pension. He can just pay with that. (We are still married--I should be consistent with husband or ex.) I've thought of buying some life insurance, but as long as he is still working, we have excellent life insurance and I might die between then and now. Who knows. I guess I just don't worry about it. I have other worries and it is up to him to take care of me when I die. If he dies first, I'll have plenty of money to bury him and put some aside for me.

I get a lot of arthritis ads and what other ads? I'm old. They know it.

Are you going to be able to bring your wife and daughter back to the states?

Do you live in Brigham City????? I grew up there.

We do have a will. We've had that for a long time--even before he left.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/06/2019 11:35AM by cl2.

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Posted by: Screen Name ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 11:40AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XDpa2HLXV0

I don't live in Brigham City.

If I brought my wife and yet-to-be born daughter to the USA, I'd lose them. We will settle in the Philippines.

Question: Who is/was the most brilliant Mormon you ever knew?

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 01:53PM

I worked with some scientists and chemists at Thiokol in the research and development lab. They had Ph.D.s. Several are still mormon, 1 or 2 are not. One was a mathematician. He was a convert and was going inactive while I was working with him. Brilliant men. My boss there was one of the most brilliant men I've ever known.

My therapist is brilliant. He is exmo.

My boss and a few others like him treated me better than I'd ever been treated while mormon. They were not your typical mormons. One of them is the guy who got my boyfriend and I back together. My boyfriend worked there, too, back in 1978 and we dated, but I wouldn't marry him. These mormons I worked with couldn't believe I wouldn't marry him even if he wasn't mormon.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 09:35AM

A good friend of mine is a retired engineer from Thiokol who has two homes and spends winters in southern Utah. You may have known him during the years he spent w/Thiokol. He is a Vietnam vet; served a LDS mission, married in the temple, before divorcing and bailing on TSCC, and then religion altogether.

He became a rocket scientist. Now he just likes to have fun in his retirement. Can't say I blame him much. He earned his stripes.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2019 09:36AM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 12:00PM

when I worked there. None of the mormons I worked with have left the church--at least the ones I worked closely with.

I loved my job out there. It was really interesting. I've probably said I worked with chemists and scientists. It was one of the highest paying jobs in Utah even for lowly me, the secretary. The bishop told me not to tell the guys in the ward how much I earned as they'd be intimidated. It was really hard to quit and be a SAHM. The guys I worked with were the ones who developed the propellant for the space shuttle solid rocket boosters. I was on maternity leave at the time the shuttle blew up. I saw it happen on TV while I was feeding my twins who were 6 weeks old. Oh, I guess there was the one guy who was leaving the church when I was working with him, but he was a Ph.D. mathematician. The engineers worked all over the place. Some worked in the same division I worked in, so I may know him. I still miss that job to this day, but most of the people were laid off some years ago. They are now hiring again--but they are called ATK. They have contracts for the company who is planning on going to the moon again.

Most of the men I worked with are quite old except my boyfriend. My boyfriend was the youngest of the group.

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Posted by: valkyriequeen ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 11:52AM

We're prepared with wills and all that good stuff, but I wish I could be buried Cherokee style: above the ground... I have claustrophobia to the max!

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:13PM

I know a family who didn't know old ma had planned her death and sunk thousands into some plan decades before. Heck, she probably didn't even remember.

They found some paperwork much later about it. So, it was a scam and waste for them. Old ma probably had peace of mind, but it cost what she spent and what it would have earned over time.

I feel this prepaid, preplanned funeral business is almost a scam that old people think they need. I'm sure many would disagree but who is going to fight to make sure the details were delivered?

IMO, it's better to have sufficient funds for death in an emergency account, preferably that is shared with the child/person who would need to access it.

Personally, I plan on being cremated because I feel the traditional burial practice is wasteful and no one needs embalming fluid in the ground water.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:26PM

By procrastinating the inevitable, will it really delay it?

On a tv movie last night, Jim Brolan asked his co-hort why do people buy expensive RV's to travel around the country into their retirement? He thought it was because if they kept driving from one destination to the next they would delay the timing of their death as long as they were in motion.

Life doesn't happen so neatly as we like to plan for it that way.

My mom pre-planned her funeral and her husband's. It saved us a lot of time and expense when the inevitable happened.

Yet when I brought up end of life wishes to my mom in the months and years before she died she told me she didn't want to think about it. She was too ill to get life insurance for most of her life. But she pre-planned for her mortality without conferring with her children.

It was something she didn't want to leave to chance, and her final wishes were honored her way.

I'm planning on doing that for myself. When I retire and move where I plan to spend the remaining years, is where I'll make my final wishes known (if I last that long haha.) My son says to put it in writing because he'll forget if I don't.

Already own a family plot where I plan to be buried next to relatives and siblings in a country cemetery near my childhood home. That plan could change however, if I retire to southern Utah I may decide to be buried there instead.

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Posted by: Screen Name ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:36PM

Southern Utah is the most beautiful place in the USA and possibly in the world.

I don't say this lightly. I am extremely well-traveled.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:59PM

I agree. It's the prettiest place I've visited thus far.

It is also the fastest growing metro area in the United States at the moment. Anticipated growth rate indicates St George will be app 500,000 pop by 2050. Which I'm not very thrilled at the prospect.

But the housing developments are getting ready to meet the demand. It's the housing prices that are shooting through the inflationary ceiling.

My realtor cousin there thinks things will calm down in the real estate market in the next couple of years. But I haven't seen that happening. Investors are buying up the Utah real estate market more than the locals can afford to. When the housing is taken over by the wealthy elites of the world, where does that leave the rest of us?

Chinese and Russian oligarchs are investing heavily into the US real estate market. They've already bought large shares of East and West coast prime real estate. Now they're cutting into the heartland too?

A real estate investor from Tel Aviv came into my office last week seeking help for being defrauded by his former "friend" he once trusted to be his property manager here in upstate New York. The Tel Aviv investor wants help in recovering lost money and damages from what his ex-business partner cost him. He has hired a reputable property manager to regroup for him and collect his rents while he lives in Tel Aviv.

I asked him was it worth it to being an investor ie, having this kind of headache/s to deal with a half a world away that was out of his control until he was able to fly over here to take charge of the situation? He looked at me and said "yes, it was." These global investors are making a killing off of US real estate property investments.

He still has to sue his ex-friend in either commercial claims court or Supreme court to recover damages if he can prove the elements of fraud. The District Attorney may be interested if he can prove enough elements to get a criminal indictment, but that is their judgment call, not his to make. He wanted someone to make an arrest. In fraud cases it is never that clear cut, and is often left to civil courts to resolve.

I've watched the housing prices in the St George real estate market rise these past seven years since I began watching it by an average of $150,000 for a median family house. It has gone from $200,000 to $350,000. When the housing bubble burst in 2008 you could buy a property then easily for well under $200,000.

I've had realtors tell me in St George that some of their clients are from other countries who buy their properties sight unseen.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 07/06/2019 01:30PM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 02:08PM

Other than the fact I have 2 dogs and 2 kids who need me around, I don't care if I die tomorrow. Not much to plan for as I posted above.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/06/2019 02:09PM by cl2.

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Posted by: Aquarius123 ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:26PM

My body is set up to be donated to the medical school. Yep, my next career will be as a cadaver. After 4 years, the body will be cremated and will either be given to my children or buried in the med school cemetary for people who donate. This is at no cost to my family, and I have a nice insurance policy for them to collect from.It is easy to set this up with minimal paperwork. Just complete and have it notarized in a couple places. Then, mail it to the university. My children have no problem with it. About the body being worked on by medical students, I won't be using it anyway. I don't care if they put a party hat and purple pasties on it.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:30PM

Good for you. Helping others learn is a great gift to many.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:32PM

I did. After the horrendous family fight over money when my ex died suddenly 5 years ago, I decided I was going to make this as easy as possible for my grown children and also my domestic partner.

I have paid for my funeral, including my own choice of a casket. I have written out all the do's and don'ts for my funeral, including where it is to be held...NO MORMON CHURCH. Since I already have a cemetery plot in our family area in another state, the local mortuary is aware of the 250 mile drive after the service. The only thing I have not done is get my headstone. I am still not sure about that yet. A very dear friend of mine got hers done and installed at her plot in my home town. One year as I went to decorate graves there, I about had a heart attack when I saw her headstone! I didn't notice there was no death date, and I was freaking out. She was just pre-planning and is very much alive.

With my health history, I wanted to make things as smooth as possible for everyone, with NO fights. I feel a great sense of relief and it lowered my anxiety level a lot. YMMV

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:45PM

I would like to, once again, recommend "caring for your own dead"--which is the title of a book by Lisa Carlson, and has now become a descriptive phrase for this kind of after-death family (or could be friend(s), too) "procedure."

Basically: a family member (or designated friend) becomes, in effect, the "funeral home"--which is mostly a matter of following a fairly short list of "To Do's."

When my father was going through the dying process (because of natural causes) I had already been the "person in charge" for two prior deaths: my Mom and my aunt, and I was my Dad's primary caregiver. As I was standing in line at Follow Your Heart one day, I was looking through a magazine I had previously selected to buy, and discovered a featured article about "caring for your own dead" as a more natural, and FAR less expensive, way to deal with post-death necessities. (Lisa Carlson herself had pioneered this, as an economic necessity after her husband committed suicide.)

I read the article, I bought the book, and I decided to do this with my Dad (who was still alive at this point, but the doctor said my Dad had, at most, a few months still to live).

I followed the steps in the book, I learned a lot and met many wonderful people along the way (the hospice nurse assigned to my Dad when he died; the woman who guided me through the Ventura County legal process, AND the guy in the Coroner's Office I was instructed to phone IMMEDIATELY upon my father's death [*]; the man in the funeral home who just GAVE me the large piece of cardboard which was pre-impressed to create a "paper" coffin)--and overall, it was a very healing process for me (and on many levels).

The difference in post-death expenses is startling. The cardboard "coffin" (that single large sheet of cardboard) was free, and the cremation itself was a small fraction of what it otherwise would have cost (though a funeral home). We did have to rent a van to transport my Dad's body to the crematory, so we had to pay U-Haul whatever that charge was for that day's rental. There were legal costs at the local county offices for my Dad's Death Certificate (which had to be done twice because my Dad's doctor checked the wrong box on the form when he signed the first Death Certificate), but a process which would have cost thousands of dollars for the EXACT same things being done cost (as I remember) less than $700 in all (including the cremation itself).

I very highly recommend the "caring for your own dead" process not only because of the tremendous saving of money to achieve exactly the same things, but also because it really is a healing process in itself (even the parts which may glitch, like the doctor checking the wrong box on the Death Certificate form and me then having to do that part of the process over again).

CARING FOR YOUR OWN DEAD, by Lisa Carlson. [A newer edition of this same book is now available under this newly revised title: CARING FOR THE DEAD, also (of course) by Lisa Carlson.]

Even if, when the time actually comes, you decide to NOT do this, reading this book will likely open up new perspectives for you which will make you a better, and a more knowledgeable person, forever after--and you could be the source (like that magazine article I discovered when I was in Follow Your Heart) for helping people faced with this at a time when they may need this kind of information very much.

[*] The reason for having to phone the Coroner's Office IMMEDIATELY after my father died (I was given a 24-hour-a-day number to call), is to be assigned a "Coroner's Case Number"--a number which MUST be included on every legal document which relates to that death (including the required paperwork necessary for the crematory to receive the body and then do that cremation). My father died in Ventura County, and the crematory is in Los Angeles County--but the Ventura County Coroner's Case Number seamlessly ties together the different jurisdictions for all legal purposes. My father died on a weekend night, and when I called the Ventura County Coroner's Office to report his death and to be assigned that number, the guy on the other end of the line was wonderful in every way.



Edited 6 time(s). Last edit at 07/06/2019 02:53PM by Tevai.

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Posted by: Aquarius123 ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 01:20PM

That's some wonderful information, Tevai!

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 10:09PM

Tevai,

Did burying your father that way and by cremation conflict with your Jewish beliefs that the dead are to be buried rather than cremated?

My last favorite rabbi who has since retired to Israel gave an entire sermon on the subject. About why it is a Jewish belief and custom to bury the dead rather than cremation.

I understand the cost difference, which is huge. And that alone can be a deal breaker for many families if it's the single deciding factor. But where cost may not be the only factor, wouldn't religious rite be the overriding factor where it is not only because of a tradition, but because of a theological position that makes it mandatory in Judaism. Moreso than in Christianity I've come to learn since attending shul.

I realize it's an intensely personal decision, but also a religious one. And that raises the question of conflict whether or not you dealt with that when your father passed on.

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/judaism-on-cremation/

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 10:15PM

Holy Confucius, Batgirl, is Tavai going to Heck?

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 10:22PM

Jews don't believe in hell. That's reserved for wayward Gentiles.

Buckle up. Destination due south.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2019 12:19AM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 10:53PM

Amyjo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tevai,
>
> Did burying your father that way and by cremation
> conflict with your Jewish beliefs that the dead
> are to be buried rather than cremated?

My father was not Jewish [well....he actually probably WAS Jewish according to Jewish law, but he certainly didn't know he was Jewish, even though he very likely was], and I come from a family (both sides) which is strongly pro-cremation (even though plenty of my relatives on both sides were buried, for all kinds of reasons which seemed compelling at the time).

I, personally, am strongly pro-cremation, and assuming that my wishes have anything to do with what is done with my body, then my body will be cremated--along with an increasing number of other Jews.

https://forward.com/news/158218/more-jews-opt-for-cremation/

There are now other ways of dealing with dead bodies, such as body donation, and body composting, and I am in favor of these as well for those who choose these new/newer options.


> My last favorite rabbi who has since retired to
> Israel gave an entire sermon on the subject. About
> why it is a Jewish belief and custom to bury the
> dead rather than cremation.

For me, I do not accept Jewish beliefs on this subject, either in theory or in practice. I understand the historical reasons why many Jews reject cremation (including the more recent objections because of what happened during the Holocaust), but this is an area where I (along with those increasing number of other Jews) differ.


> I understand the cost difference, which is huge.
> And that alone can be a deal breaker for many
> families if it's the single deciding factor. But
> where cost may not be the only factor, wouldn't
> religious rite be the overriding factor where it
> is not only because of a tradition, but because of
> a theological position that makes it mandatory in
> Judaism.

I, personally, have no need for religious rites after my death--religious rites which I, personally, do not believe have any effect at all on where I "go" next. If I had children, or grandchildren, or observant Jewish relatives, then I would probably let them do what they felt they needed to do, because the emphasis after my death would necessarily be on THEM, and what THEY need, rather than me. If I had family who needed to go through the traditional Jewish mourning process, I would give them permission to do what they felt they needed to do. In real life, I do not have any such Jewish relatives, so I don't have to worry about any of my relative's emotional or religious feelings.


> I realize it's an intensely personal decision, but
> also a religious one. And that raises the question
> of conflict whether or not you dealt with that
> when your father passed on.

As I indicated above, my father--if he WAS legally a Jew, which there is a pretty good probability that he was--had absolutely not the slightest knowledge of this. He did give me very direct, and very easily understood, directions of what I was to do with his ashes: "Flush 'em down the crapper!!" (You'd have to know my father, especially my father when he was drunk, to get the full humor of what he was shouting out at me, because he was really serious as he was saying this.)

In the end, my father's ashes were added (by my sister) to a camp fire in North Carolina, and my mother's ashes were scattered (again, by my sister) into the Colorado River, from a bridge above, in the Grand Canyon. Both my sister and I think that both of our parents would have genuinely approved.

Slightly different focus: I have been studying some of the more advanced parts of Judaism (the parts that you used to have to be male, and at least forty years old, and married, and the father of children, in order to study), and I am possibly in the process of changing my thoughts about saying Kaddish (the Jewish prayer for the dead, which is said, on a specific schedule of days, for eleven months after that person has died).

A fairly good case is being made that saying Kaddish has some importance on a number of levels which are of importance to me, and I am thinking about the (at least) possibility of asking someone to say Kaddish for me after my death. (Paying someone to say Kaddish for someone who has died is an old Jewish custom for those who died without relatives to say it.)

No firm decisions yet, but I am turning the possibility over in my mind.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2019 12:27AM by Tevai.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 11:27PM

Thanks, Tevai.

One of my children wants to be cremated. I hope to be buried when I die, if my wishes are carried out. Which is why I'll try to pre-plan for my burial so that they will be.

I own enough plots for a family since no one else in my family claimed them after my parents divorce. They were buried with their respective spouses somewhere else rather than the family plot where the extra family burial plots are located.

I don't know what to do with the extra spaces, so I might add an extra bench or something ornamental there where my brother and sister are buried to make it nicer. It's in an older section of the cemetery near many of our relatives. I've let my children know they're welcome to the grave plots if they want them.

With both children out of the country it's a hard sell. Time will tell. Who knows what the future will bring?

I so dislike the long cold winters of Idaho I still might decide to be buried in southern Utah instead near the red rocky vistas of Zion National Park near my pioneer ancestors. At least there the ground won't get frozen in the wintertime. But it does get rattlers. I have claustrophobia. I know it won't matter when I'm dead. But it matters to me now how I'll be buried.

A movie I watched recently called "Being Rose," starring Cybill Shepherd was about her planning for her death and funeral. One of her best friends was telling her about another friend who died and was buried in her best full mink coat. Just because. ")

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:48PM

My grave site next to my deceased wife's is paid for. I am making my casket. I am setting aside a cash fund with one of my children whom I trust for the burial.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO I guess that I am as ready as I can be. If that is not good enough I guess my body will rot on the desert. I probably won't give a damn!

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Posted by: Jordan ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 12:53PM

I have often thought about it but donw little. I can't decide the fine details of who I would leave money to other than my girlfriend.

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Posted by: TX_Rancher ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 03:03PM

Not much to plan for, in my opinion...once you are dead, you are dead, lol.

My wife knows where all the money is stashed, how to access retirement funds/their value, what to sell vehicles and other assets for, etc., via my letter, "If I die" tells her.

Community state here, so nothing I need to do to give her control. She has it already.

Instructions on what to do with my body...nothing special, put me in the ground or whatever you want. I'm dead so I don't care.

Oh, and instructions to have fun. "But I will be so sad!" Yes, dear, for a few weeks, then when you start having fun, you'll forget and enjoy life :) Full permission to do what you want.

So yes, I've made plans.

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 03:41PM

As far as what to do with your money goes, I think it depends on the event. The only time that I ever let travel put me into debt was when my sister decided to get married in St. Lucia.

I couldn't afford it, but my mother insisted that I get myself there.

There are a lot of places I'd like to see in the world, but these days I can visit them on Google Earth and virtually walk down the streets. I don't need to spend money that I know should be used for more practical uses.

But for a family event, depending on how important it is to my family, that's when I'll make an exception.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 04:03PM

Greyfort Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As far as what to do with your money goes, I think
> it depends on the event. The only time that I
> ever let travel put me into debt was when my
> sister decided to get married in St. Lucia.
>
> I couldn't afford it, but my mother insisted that
> I get myself there.
>
> There are a lot of places I'd like to see in the
> world, but these days I can visit them on Google
> Earth and virtually walk down the streets. I
> don't need to spend money that I know should be
> used for more practical uses.

^^^^ This ^^^^^ :)
>
> But for a family event, depending on how important
> it is to my family, that's when I'll make an
> exception.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 06:11PM

Cremation, red Folger's coffee can. My son has instructions.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 06:17PM

Brewing instructions?!?!?!?!

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: July 07, 2019 04:39AM

It will be sufficient if he says a few words about the boys who died defending a hill in Vietnam.

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Posted by: Jordan ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 06:24PM

I want a tower of silence or a sky burial. I demand my religious rights.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: July 06, 2019 06:32PM

Jordan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I want a tower of silence or a sky burial. I
> demand my religious rights.

I didn't know you are Zoroastrian.

This is interesting, because we have a Zoroastrian house of worship (I don't know what they are called) fairly close (within three miles), and every time I drive by, I think about the religion and its adherents, because I actually know very little about it other than what I learned in Western Civ classes.

Were you born Zoroastrian (are you of an appropriate ethnic group?), or did you convert--and if you converted, what was that experience like?

We have had very few discussions about Zoroastrianism here because no one here has ever identified as Zoroastrian before, so you have much you could contribute.

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Posted by: Screen Name ( )
Date: July 07, 2019 05:00AM

My own planning involves scouting for used cardboard, probably a refrigerator shipping box, that is secured with duct tape to keep it from falling apart, until the Savior returns.

I can't be buried in my Temple outfit, as I weigh twice what I weighed when first duped.

No one will speak at my funeral, and my creditors will bury me for free.

A pot luck after my disposal will have some of the most unfair but titillating gossip ever whispered.

I left no legacy, spent all my money and left my dentures to The Salt Lake Mission.

I hope to be a valiant servant in the eternities to a righteous family with many children.

I will be very content to sleep near the water heater, and eat whatever scraps the dogs care to share with me.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: July 07, 2019 10:35PM

No, but I didn't plan my birth either and that turned out just fine.

I'm still not sure how, when, or even if I'm going to die, I'd tell them, in jest.

Well, I can't speak at my funeral but I can pre-plan a speech... or something.

Nothing wrong with doing it ahead of time... before it's too late.

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Posted by: schrodingerscat ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 08:39PM

We are the only species that has to pay for the privilege of living and for dying.
I plan on dying in an extreme sporting accident, parasailing off of Tahoma and seeing if I can make it to the Puget Sound.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 11:18PM

At 14 in my freshman year of high school I wrote an essay on the topic "We come into this world alone. We leave it, alone." My English teacher liked it well enough he gave it an A+.

I still have it somewhere among my papers. It was about an old man living alone in San Francisco reminiscing about his life, and his values.

At the time I was in a tiny country high school of 78 students. My freshman class was only 16 pupils. By my senior year of high school I was graduating near San Francisco in Palo Alto. I would never have envisioned that happening in a million years.

I felt like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, who was swept away from her home in Kansas on a tornado and carried to the land of Oz, where I landed in the Emerald City (Palo Alto.)

It's said life is stranger than fiction. My therapist has told me to write a book of my memoirs. I laughed when he suggested it because I told him it would read like a novella. He told me out of all his patients he's treated in more than four decades I've had some of the most interesting life experiences he's ever heard of.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 11:43PM

I can't provide a precise percentage, but I'm saying that it's higher than 65% that your therapist was rolling his eyes when he said what you quoted.

And mine is for sure an honest, heartfelt sentiment.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 12:27AM

My therapist is more honest and heartfelt than you are, and he was quite sincere. He doesn't play games or insult his patients. He doesn't even share your sick sense of humor. He is a very good judge of character too.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2019 12:28AM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: July 09, 2019 11:42PM

It will happen when it happens. Disposition of my carcass is in the pre-planning stage.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 12:02AM

Lethbridge Reprobate Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It will happen when it happens. Disposition of my
> carcass is in the pre-planning stage.

This is nearly 100% of where I am too.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 12:51AM

It does seem like funeral costs are out of control in the funeral market. In New York, cremation is the preferred way for most people on a budget, unless for religious rites and beliefs customs take precedence.

Shipping bodies for burial is outrageously expensive also. When my therapist had his brother's body transported from here to Syracuse by automobile for burial, it cost him a small fortune.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 01:35AM

Is it the state of Washington that is allowing those who request it to make their bodies available for composting?

At first glance, this seems to be an inexpensive and useful alternative to burial or cremation.

Overweight individuals would be a welcome bonus for Mother Earth.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 01:46AM

Yes.

So far as I can see, Washington is the only state which has approved body composting.

Within the next few years, there ought to be other states too.

The cost for body composting will be about $5,000. (Compared to the median expense for a traditional funeral, which is now $7,000.)

My father's "care for your own dead" process cost about $700.00, but this was about twenty-five years ago, and it is difficult to compare what it cost then with prices now.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2019 01:58AM by Tevai.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 01:58AM

I wonder if they do it like in the movie "Fargo"?

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 02:01AM

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wonder if they do it like in the movie "Fargo"?

No, but "Fargo" is one of my favorite films.

https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2019/05/16/human-composting-washington

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 02:04AM

Have you seen "State and Main"?

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 02:42AM

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Have you seen "State and Main"?

No, I never saw it.

I just looked at the trailer, though, and it looks like they captured the realities (plural) of shooting on location.

What I saw on the trailer is a lot like the locals and us, when we were shooting a MOW (film made for television) in Arizona-- which turned out to be the best location shoot ever for everyone who was there. A really fun time (which doesn't always happen), and I learned a tremendous amount of practical information from that shoot (because even when things were going "wrong," they were going wrong in a most valuable manner, so far as learning went).

Two easy examples:

The production schedule was set up in Los Angeles, and the L.A. person doing the schedule didn't take into consideration the large, and disproportional, amount of night filming required for this MOW. Turns out, Arizona has more daylight--and less NIGHT, than does Los Angeles--yet the filming was heavily weighted towards exterior night shots. The producer and director HAD to get all the night shots, but the sun kept coming up EVERY SINGLE DAY! It was freaking difficult to get the night shots done, and done properly, as we all worked incredibly intensely during the night to get in that "day's" allotment of film sequences--with the danger that we would run overschedule and over [budgeted] cost.

We did it, but it was really hard, and it was really, really close....and I learned that if a film is going to be shot in a particular location, you learn what THAT sunrise/sunset schedule is...and you do NOT use the one which is accurate in LA!

Second thing I learned (which kind of blew me away): If "you" are filming in a particular location, and one of your actors decides, because he doesn't think he will be needed for that day, to take his foreign girlfriend to tour the Grand Canyon, you can call the state police (or whatever is equivalent) and the police will issue an APB for the actor--and then bring him back to the set!

I had no idea that a film company could do this, but it is something I won't ever forget.

Good times.

"Omgallah!" with my fist raised, to Swack (the director), wherever you are.

You done good, and I hope you're in a good place now.

(Swack died a few years after this MOW was made.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2019 02:45AM by Tevai.

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Posted by: Red ( )
Date: July 10, 2019 02:37AM

Yes. I have a life insurance policy, everything is paid off, and my family will have lots of assets. Oh and my will makes it clear I'm an organ donor and whatever is left should be buried/disposed of in the cheapest possible manner, because, even in death, I don't believe in wasting money. Anything beyond that, meh. :p

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